Kamen Rider Weird
by CastleofFiction
Summary: In a future Gravity Falls a new threat arises, one that will require a new approach and a new hero. The Pines must now put their faith and training into a new arrival to the town, a young teen seeking to find out about the half of his past his overprotective mother has kept from him all these years. Will he become just a part-time visitor, or a local hero?
1. Prologue

**[AN: Hey guys, while I work on my old series, I wanted to introduce my new one. It's a Gravity Falls/Kamen Rider crossover, I'm trying a new minimalist style, and it uses a Gravity Falls future where Dipper and Wendy are married and have a daughter named Phoebe - find more details by looking at SuperGroverAway's Gravity Falls stories, including the megacollection "Pines Will be Pines". [I asked for his permission, but he never responded. If he refuses, I can retroactively change a few things.] The type of action I employ will obviously be different, but I hope that within that framework I can still do his world justice.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy. Also, I'll be making a third story for announcements, and expect one of those soon.]**

[A.D. 2040]

 _Everything you love will burn…._

 _You can't stop us this time, Pine Tree…_

 _Fool you were for thinking Cypher would destroy you…._

 _No, you have something greater to fear…._

 _The end has arrived for you all…_

 _Your entire family shares the same fate….._

"No, no...NO! "

Thirty-eight year old Dipper Pines woke with a start, gasping for air after the shock he had just undergone. He looked around to find that he was still where he should be - on an air mattress in the break room of the Mystery Shack, where he and his wife slept whenever staying in Gravity Falls, Oregon. He buried his face in his hands, worrying about what all those voices in his dreams could be referring to. Whatever it was, he had decided weeks before that it couldn't be good, and he had been making preparations ever since. But whenever he had the dream, he couldn't sleep anymore after that, and he knew it well. He HAD to keep pushing himself until it was ready. So as usual he climbed out of bed, registered it was three in the morning, and trudged out of the room.

Unfortunately, he had failed to keep his loved one in the dark about this. As soon as Dipper had woken up, a pair of green eyes also opened up from next to him. In his distraught state, he failed to notice by the time he had climbed out of bed and headed downstairs. After a minute, Wendy Pines decided to follow him out of the room.

She caught up to him faster than expected, as it turned out he was having some difficulty with the vending machine door to the Pines secret lab. In his half-tired, half-panicky state, he seemed incapable of hitting the B button instead of the 2, causing him to restart multiple times. Wendy used the opportunity to catch up. "Dipper, what is going on?"

"Aah!" Dipper jumped about a foot as he turned to face his wife. Her red hair was a mess from waking up so late and her eyes were half-shut, making her look like a zombie (well, not the kind Dipper had actually fought before, but the point still stood). What really got to him was her eyes, filled with concern for him. For a brief moment the combination was enough to make him revert to his nervous, twelve-year-old self.

"It-it's nothing! I just needed to, um, get something light to eat and didn't want to wake you up!"

Hands on hips were the universal way of calling out bull. "From the vending machine? Not the refrigerator?"

"I was looking for a change of pace, that's it, and...um..." he could only go like this for so long before remembering what years of being with his wife had taught him - that there were no secrets between them. "You've seen it all, huh?"

She nodded, dropping her arms to her sides. "Yeah, man. I've noticed you get up every day for the past few weeks - how could I not? - but never bothered to follow you until now."

Dipper hung his head "Wendy, what I've been worrying about - it's dangerous. You're safer not knowing - "

"Look, Dipper..." She pulled him close "I know I've said it a lot, but I'll say it again. Whatever you're afraid of, that won't scare me because I know you'll do everything in your power to get us out of whatever mess we're standing in. What scares me more is that my husband still doesn't believe I can handle myself when in trouble. I survived an apocalypse and how many other adventures with you, and yet you're still scared to let me help you. Please, if you really want to protect me, do it by telling me the truth."

Dipper looked into her eyes and as usual, he was calmed. The number of times she could've called him crazy and left him to his own devices until he destroyed himself in fear…."How did I get so lucky to end up with you?"

She smiled. "Mostly it's that same heart that makes you want to protect me by keeping me in the dark right now" they chuckled. "So, what's the issue?"

He was calmer as he finally got the code to the basement right and beckoned Wendy to follow him. They ended up holding onto each other to keep steady, as neither of them were fully awake yet.

"Part of what made it so hard to tell you was that I wasn't sure what to tell."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the details are all fuzzy. I know that something is approaching - something worse than Bill Cypher or anything we've ever faced - but I can't tell what?"

"Woah, woah, hold on…." Wendy leaned against the back of the elevator that they were now zooming down. "You're telling me that there's an interdimensional threat out to get us, but you know nothing else? Dude, aren't you freaking out over nothing here?" she almost cracked a smile...except that her husband was a bit quick.

"Wendy, I'm serious! I just KNOW this is true!" Dipper's eyes burned with fearful conviction that immediately convinced his wife. Wendy knew that when Dipper was this serious you did not bet against him. As the door slid open to reveal the lab that belonged to Dipper and his great uncle Ford. It was one of the few times Wendy had been in there, and she hardly relished it. Still, her husband got her onto a rolling chair and rolled her to the desk, before himself getting on another.

"OK, I beleive you, dude. So, got a plan in that brain of yours?" She smiled, hoping it would put him at ease. It did give him a bit of a grin, but the concern was still etched on his face as he opened a drawer to reveal a strange-looking device and some flashdrives. He took one of them out, plugged it into a computer and started typing.

"These were originally meant to be used for scientific research - to see what it would be like for a human to feel like any of the paranormal creatures in Gravity Falls. But ever since I've had those dreams, I've decided to not only fishi it, but repurpose it for defending everyone. If I put this on, I can use everything I've learned to fight back when the threat comes, and keep you sa -"

"No." Wendy cut him off.

Dipper looked up. "Wait, what?"

Wendy grabbed the device with one hand while holding Dipper's shoulder with the other. "You need to quit putting everything onto yourself. Let's be honest here - you may be stronger than you once were, but still not powerful enough to fight with anything besides bravery and brain...like you always have. Why don't I put it on instead?"

"Wendy, no." He gently took the device and put it on the table. "I don't want you, Mabel, Phoebe, the twins, Soos, Melody, Stan or Ford to use this. I don't think you could handle it any more than I could, even if you are tougher."

They both looked at the powerful device, a circular mechanism on a belt with places to insert the flashdrives like the one Dipper just pulled back out of his computer.

"So if it's not anyone in this house...then who?"


	2. A New Arrival, Part 1

"Gravity Falls, last stop!"

As the bus pulled into the random stop along the highway. A young man got up from his seat. He grabbed his many bulging bags and passed the many empty rows before finally reaching the front. He smiled and raised his hand to the bus driver in thanks as he climbed off. He looked at the woods around him, barely registering the cloud of dust that formed at his feet.

He pulled out a map and consulted it briefly before walking straight forward. He marveled at the wildlife around him, thinking about how much of a change of pace it was from his own home. Of course, he might have thought it even more so had he noticed a few crucial details….like that odd creature whose red hat poked out of this bush, or a bird in the trees with an extra head…. But how could someone know what mystery this town held on their first visit, and what to look for as evidence of such?

It took a while before the traveler decided to check his map again, at which point he felt himself frown. Wasn't he supposed to take a left turn here? Or was he meant to take a right a bit before that? Great, he'd have to retrace his steps and start all over again…

"Uh oh.." the traveler frowned as he felt something weird tingle through his lower half. "Not now…."

Yes, as with every man who gets lost, his problem was just complicated by the fact that he now had to go to the bathroom. He darted around looking for a bush to pee in, before realizing that if anyone ever used this road after him, the smell would be too obvious to mask in the open like this.

He heard the sound of running water and had an idea. _If the water's not fresh, I can just go in the river and no one will notice._ As he dashed off, he further noted _Oooh, but that sound is making it hard to hold it in…come on, champ, almost got it…._

He made it to a creek and almost cursed his luck, as the water looked crystal clear. Of course it would - he came to the backcountry of the west where the nearest town was very rural in nature. No pollution for him to take advantage of...in any other situation, he'd be ecstatic about that….

But then he noticed something that made his heart leap. There, right next to the riverside, was an outhouse made of solid wood. HE pumped a fist in the air as he ran inside.

As the door shut behind him, he looked at the toilet in front of him, which seemed normal enough...unfortunately, just as he was about to undo his zipper to take care of business, the whole place glowed.

"Wha- What's going….oh no, let me out!" Sensing danger, he turned around and reached for the handle, but was too late. With a giant FLASH, he was gone.

############################################################################

Things were going well at the tourist trap known as the Mystery Shack. Soos was moving merchandise while his beloved wife Melody worked the counter, checking customers out and keeping tabs on the time. Above them they could hear the clattering of feet as two children played in the attic. They knew that somewhere else a third was probably reading, while the mother of the more active kids was probably working on some new arts project.

As Soos put up the last of the signature Men of Mystery (trademarked) versions 1 and 2 bobbleheads, Melody spoke up "Soos, you remember how you wanted me to remind you that the Stan brothers will be back around 3:00? It's 2:50 right now, so…."

Soos grinned "Thanks Cornchip! Well, It'll be good to see them again after another year of travel!" He hung up the fez his predecessor gave him over twenty-five years ago before putting on his old trusty handyman's cap. "Guess I'd better go see them now.."

He stepped out of the Shack and stood on the porch for awhile, drinking in the air around him. This time of the summer, when the Pines family got together for a few months - which in and of itself was a miracle, given the lives they now led - was his favorite part of the year. Ever since his abuelita passed away, Soos really only had Melody, whom he thankfully had married a few years prior. To him, the Pines had become his family - especially since he and his cousin Reggie had grown somewhat apart. The Mystery Twins had brought their families a few days prior, even though Dipper had a bit more luggage than usual that he declined to explain. Now, with the arrival of the two crazy old twins whose lives shaped the land they stood on, the assembly was nearly complete.

Ah, there was the RV! The old faithful that had endured the years now rolled into view, presumably carrying the men who could actually claim to have endured even more. Soos waited for awhile, until the door finally opened to reveal the aging bodies of Stanford and Stanley Pines. The two old men stepped off, Ford tripping a little bit. At eighty years old, the two were barely weaker than when they were at sixty. Was it the air of Gravity Falls? The bond of family? The time Ford in particular spent in different worlds? How else could Soos explain how the brothers were carrying what looked like a giant box of some rare specimen….

"Soos! Come help us out with this!" The former Mr. Mystery called out.

OK, nevermind. Soos started walking towards them. "Dood, it's always good to see you come back here, Mr. Pineses".

Had he been paying attention, he might have heard a small *pop* in the air above him.

Ford smiled. "It's good to see you too, Soos. How's - " he cut himself off as he noticed a growing silhouette. "What the devil? Look out!"

Soos looked up just in time to see a body fall and hear it yell "Aaauuggh!"

PLOP! The two older brothers put down their box and aimed their laser pistol and brass knuckles at the mess. As the dust settled, they were met with a strange site. On top of the chubby man clad in a black suit was a teenager unlike anything they had ever seen. They pointed their weapons slightly down as Stan called out "Who are ya, punk? Answer me before I knock your teeth out!"

The boy got up and put his arms in the air, clearly panicked out of his mind. "Uh-oh! No! Don't shoot!"

Ford looked at his brother. "For God's sake, can you not scare the kid? He's clearly out of his mind."

Stan shot back. "Real rich coming from you, Poindexter! Aren't you the one always making those safety rules? Including, I might add, the one where anything that falls from the sky can't be good."

The teenagerstepped back with his palms out, clearly signaling to stay away. "Look, I have no idea what's happening! I just was going to the bathroom in some outhouse and then I'm falling in midair!" He raised his fists. "I don't wanna fight, but..."

"Woah, Woah, Woah, kid, hold on!" Stan suddenly became a lot less hostile. "Did you say an outhouse? Was it by a creek, near the bus stop?"

The boy hesitated then nodded. To his surprise, both men sighed in relief as they disarmed. Ford decided to try being diplomatic. "There are a couple of outhouses around here that actually serve as portals from one place to another."

The boy dropped his arms with surprise, but not the wild amazement the old men anticipated. More like a slow realization. "Wait….then could it..."

At that point they heard a groan and realized that the store manager had yet to rise. "Dudes, am I dead? Did that fall break my back?"

Stan groaned. "Soos, have you seen the poundage on you? It would take nothing short of a freight train to break your back".

The boy went and helped him up. "Sorry about that, sir….are you hurt?"

Soos stood up. "Ah, I think I'm good." As he got a good look at the new guy, he frowned. "Hey, I don't recall seeing your face around here."

The boy nodded. "I just got here about an hour ago? Maybe less?"

Ford extended his hand. "Well, then, welcome to town! How about you come inside for a bit?"

As the two shook hands, the arrival noted the six-fingered hand. _Could this be real? Is it possible that everything I heard was true?_ Curiosity more than anything else drove him to respond "I'd be honored, if it's not a problem."

"Oh, dude, not at all!" Soos piped up. "Come on in, we had lunch a while ago, but we can re-heat some of the chili." He looked at his seniors. "Want some as well?"

Stan shook his head "We ate just a bit before arriving. An quite frankly, I want to know more about what's going on."

As they trooped inside, Ford nudged his brother and whispered, "You're just trying to get him to buy Welcome merchandise, aren't you?"

Stan grinned. "It's good business."

"For God's sake, Stan…"

########################################################################################

Deep underground, two adult figures lay slumped in chairs, leaning against each other and snoozing. Suddenly, an alarm clock buzzed as the two bolted up.

"Man, how long have we been clocked out?" Wendy asked as she rubbed her temple.

Dipper checked his watch. "About five hours. Aaand..." he peered at the screen. "Look,s like the data transfer finished in the meantime."

Wendy groaned. "It's beginning to get really stupid how we have to keep the lab a secret and not open the door during business hours. How do you stand being cooped up in here? I'd go nuts!" She smiled a bit at her dork, fully expecting some nerdy response that would make minimal sense to her.

He didn't disappoint. "I'm only in here during the day every so often. Usually I'd spend this time during field work, and when I am in here there's usually like a million things to do. DNA testing, journal writing, tech testing, stuff like that. The other day I was trying to test some rat-bat wing's response to chloroform to see if they're at all related to the floating eyes from Weirdmageddon. The results were kinda - " he looked to his side to see his wife smirking. "I got carried away, didn't I?"

Wendy laughed. "Honestly, not nearly as much as usual." they looked at the two flash drives that now lay before them, along with the odd device Dipper had shown her last night. "So, they're finished? No more sleepless nights for you?"

Dipper shook his head "I can relax a bit, but there's still a long way to go. We'll need to do this with a lot more creatures before we can call it quits. But…" he slumped back in his seat. "We have enough to get started, and I can afford to take it more slowly from here."

Wendy nodded. "All I needed to hear. Come on, Stan and Ford should be back by now. Thank god Soos is closing early for them" they rose to grab two stacks of clothes that Mabel had left for them that morning, when she heard that they had been up all night and planned to spend the rest of the day down here.

As the two changed, Dipper decided to speak up. "Hey, um, Wendy? Thanks for confronting me last night about keeping this from you. It's probably not easy, getting me to calm down when I'm worked up over something. God knows how many times you've had to do that over the years."

Wendy grinned as she buttoned up her flannel green shirt - her style had not changed over the years - and turned around. "Hey. man, don't worry about it. Honestly, that's why it works."

Dipper sighed as he was putting on his own blue vest - which had become all the more useful as adventuring and archaeology had gone from a hobby to a livelihood. "Yeah, I know. I stress over things, you remain cool and confident, and we find the balance in between. Still, I just wish I could do more of that so that you'd have to do a little less."

"Hey, it's not like you haven't improved over the years. Remember how much of klutz you were when you were twelve and I just met you?"

"Don't remind me" he shuddered. "I know I had my moments and really got adventurous during that first summer, but there were some cringeworthy moments too. Half of them relating to how I was towards you."

Wendy decided he needed a light jab. "The other half being the number of times you sang "Disco Girl"?"

That did the trick. "Oh please." Dipper laughed as they walked hand-in-hand back to the elevator.

#######################################################################################################################

"Great chili, sir!" the boy said as he wolfed down his bowl.

As he ate, the three men at the table got a good look at him. He was clearly a teenager and clearly of Asian descent, with his black hair falling to the sides of his head as well as forming bangs that nearly covered one of his narrow eyes. He wore a simple pair of blue jeans and a faded brown t-shirt with no logo.

"Please, call me Soos. And yeah, I take a lot more pride in it than I probably should. So, dude, what's your name again?" Soos asked, trying to be subtle and somehow failing.

"Ken Takigawa. I'm 15, in case you were wondering." This Ken seemed sharper than they had thought.

Ford decided he had to take control of the narrative again. "Pleased to meet you, Ken. I'm Stanford Pines and this is my brother, Stanley."

Stan rolled his eyes. "Will you please start just introducing us as Stan and Ford? No one uses our full names, it's too confusing!"

Ford shot back. "It's a matter of manners, you're supposed to give your birth name to someone you just -"

Ken cleared his throat, and the brothers stopped fighting, clearly aware that they were going to make a fool out of themselves otherwise.

"Just so I understand you, I just got off a bus stop to Gravity Falls, Oregon, took a trip in something called a 'Portal-Potty', and as a result ended up in a Tourist Trap known as the Mystery Shack where I met a twelve-fingered man by the name of Ford Pines?"

"Yes….."

Ken sunk his head. The others were confused as there was a moment of silence. Then, they heard him chuckle, louder and louder until he threw his head up and laughed.

"It's real, it's all real! I found it! I didn't think it existed!"

Stan spoke up sticking a finger at Ken. "Wait a minute, kid. You're telling me you came with the express purpose of seeing us?!"

"Well, not exactly, but when I decided it was time for me to come to this town, the first thing my mother told me to do was visit the mystery Shack and meet an explorer with the last name of Pines."

The three guys looked at each other before Ford spoke up again. "Your mother? Wait, who is your mother?"

Stan interjected. "Why are you really here?"

Ken held up a hand. "Look, not to be rude, but maybe I can answer your questions later. First things first, she said there were two Pines to meet...the other one being an archaeologist who hails from California but visits here every year..."

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the vending machine….creak open? As he looked that direction, he saw a brunette man and a red-haired woman come out of the machine. "Grunkle Ford, you in here? Welcome ba-"

"Wait, we have visitor, don't come ou - " Ford stopped upon realizing the boy had already seen and gotten up. "Well, great."

But Ken barely processed the worryings of the old man as he crossed to the machine. The red-haired woman mocked groaned. "Oh, man, the secret's out! Guess we have to let little - wait, who are you?" she asked as she just processed this face she hadn't seen before.

Ken tried his best to put on a reassuring smile. "Hey, I'm new enough that I won't be telling anyone. Name's Ken Takigawa."

Wendy smiled and nodded as if she herself were a teen again. The smart-alecky nature of this kid put her at ease. "Nice to met you, Ken. Name's Wendy."

Ken nodded as he shook the man's hand, only just processing whom he might be looking at. "Wait - " he began before the man spoke up.

"Pleased to meet you too. I'm Mason Pines, but you can call me...Dipper."


	3. A New Arrival, Part 2

**[Hey, guys, sorry for being late with this. I don't know if I can get part 3 out soon or not, but honestly I'd wait until at LEAST April 10th before getting high hopes. Maybe that time I'll actually have the other fanfic updated too. Hope you guys enjoy for now.]**

Ken couldn't process this. He had just been portaled through an outhouse to a gift shop in the middle of the woods, to find that piece by piece the legends about Gravity Falls were true. And as he shook the hand of the man in front of him, one more was etched off the list.

"Dipper Pines? The Piedmont archaeologist? It's….it's you!"

Dipper frowned in surprise as their hands separated. "Wait, you've heard about me?"

"Heard about you?" He went to where he had been sitting, his backpack wide open. "I'm a huge fan of your work!" He pulled out a green hardcover book with the cover "The secret links: what Indian art tells us about the common tribal ancestry. Dipper Pines, Ph.D."

"Can you, um..." Ken suddenly became nervous. As one hand trembled, Dipper became aware of the pen he was holding and realized what he wanted. The teen meanwhile kept stuttering, "I mean, I know you don't usually...it's ok if you don't want to."

Ken was met with an odd sight as the archaeologist suddenly became equally nervous at the revelation. "Oh, um, sure, wow. It's just, um...I'm flattered, really….didn't think you'd ask for something like this.."

Wendy laughed at the scene as she stepped in. "Here," she said as she pried the book and pen from the hands of the younger nervous wreck and plopped them, book open, into the hands of the older one. It seemed to snap them both out of it, as Dipper smiled and signed the book, returning it to the excited Ken, who looked like he'd either squeal or pass out.

The archaeologist decided to use that time to explain his earlier nervous state "Honestly, I never thought those books would gain traction outside of the academic community. It's good to see someone like you reading them; that's all."

Ken bowed a little. "Thank you, sir." His face fell a little. "Although, I have to say, so far I don't know many of my friends who have this. Honestly, I got it because my mother knew that it would be a good read...something about the Pines...but she was right, though!" He flashed a smile as Dipper gave a small grin in reply.

Behind them, Ford was frowning, deep in thought. His mother knowing the Pines, and about this town...He finally couldn't take it and spoke up. "Ken, if I might ask, what was your mother's name?"

"Huh? Oh!" he replied as he turned around. "It was Yuki. Yuki Takigawa. Why, did you know her?"

Ford's mind was racing. _Yuki? But that would mean...none of it made any sense. What has happened since those days? I have several questions and only one way to find answers._ But on the outside he let none of it show. He only replied, "Maybe..." and then changed the subject. "So, now that you've seen us, got a place to stay?"

Ken checked his watch. "The plan was that I was to go ahead and book a campsite at the lakeside to pitch tent. I have until five o'clock, but it's only three-thirty, so I got time, depending on how far it is?"

Stan looked at his twin knowingly. Ford eyed him back, his eyes clearly asking for his brother to trust him. Stan decided to play along until he found out what exactly was whirring in the old poindexter's head. "Tell ya what, kid, it's quite a hike and the view's better if you get there during the daytime. What say you set up camp in our backyard for the night and tomorrow one of us can take you there." For good measure, he quickly added, "I've been thinking about fishing once we got back anyway."

Ken thought about it. On the one hand, he did have certain things he wanted to do...but they could wait a day, if it meant spending time with this family! "Sure, I can set up my tent if one of you wants to - "

"Um, dood?" Soos asks hesitantly, speaking up for the first time since Dipper and Wendy had joined. "I don't mean to be a killjoy, but what tent?"

Ken turned to where he left his bags "The one in my stu-" he turned around to where his backpack and one other bag lay, only to stop short. Didn't he have four? Suddenly his mind flashed to when he had first went to the bathroom in the woods. "Oh no."

"What?" Dipper said, frowning as he saw the look on his face. Why was it so familiar?

Ken suddenly became panicky again. "I left my stuff outside that portal-potty next to the creek! Oh man, I gotta go get it!" He dashed to his stuff and started looking for his map, which he had left in there upon arriving at the Shack. "I have no idea how to...maybe if I jump up to where I popped out..."

Ford cut in "It doesn't work that way, Ken! Those things are only one way. You can walk there easily, it's only about half an hour - "

"Half an hour?" Ken looked up. "Oh no, by then I'll have left my stuff there for almost a whole hour! They'll be gone for sure..."

This level of anxiety was ridiculous for even Dipper - modern Dipper, at least - so it was almost fitting that he was the one to put a hand on his shoulder and say reassuringly "Hey, it's OK! It's OK!" Ken turned to face him as he reassuringly patted him. "Your stuff's probably still there, if there's a whole tent no one's gonna waste the energy lugging that around! I'll go with you if it helps."

But as he rose to go, Wendy put an arm in front of him to bar him from moving. "Here, I should do it. Seen my belt anywhere?"

Dipper was slightly taken aback "Um, I think it's in our room." As the two went to get it, he asked in a lower voice, "Seems like an odd thing for one of us to volunteer for. Is there something I'm missing?"

Wendy smiled. "You mean you haven't figured it out yet?"

Dipper frowned. At this point they were in the room, although the question made him stop at the doorway as his wife found and picked up her belt - an emblem on the front reading "National Parks Dpt." as a hatchet dangled from the side. He barely processed her also picking up her crossbow - which wouldn't have surprised him anyway - as he responded "He's a little anxious like me, but...I feel like that would make me the more ideal person. You know, someone he can talk to?"

Wendy laughed. "Dude, it's not just any old you. This is the level of anxiety you had when WE first met. Clearly he's out of his mind," she said brushing past him as they headed back. "I was able to calm you down back then, maybe I can do it again now."

Her husband simply nodded. It made sense on a certain level. As they got back to the front door they say their guest. It seemed he was breathing heavier than before, his bangs shifting a little with each inhalation and exhalation. "Ready to go, Ken?" He nodded.

"Hold on" Dipper said as he got a sign out that read "Out of order" and handed it to Wendy. "We clearly need to put this back up."

Wendy took it as she remarked. "I don't know why we bother at this point."

As she and the young man left, Dipper just waved and said to himself. "Actually, me neither..."

################################################################################

The two had been walking for some time when the older of the two looked at his younger companion. He had calmed down a bit, but had avoided talking so far. She could tell he was still a little on edge, so she decided to toss him a lowball to get him to calm down.

"So," she started, whacking a branch out of the way with her hatchet. "How old did you say you were?"

This somehow made things worse, as the boy nearly stammered "Well, I said I was fifteen..."

Between his anxiety and his odd wording, Wendy decided to pursue "Said you were?"

Ken looked up with a small bit of fire in his eyes. "What?"

Wendy looked back with just a bit more intensity. "I played the word game a lot when I was younger. You're hiding something."

After a few seconds he sighed and broke. "I actually have about a month to go."

Wendy smiled. "That wasn't so hard to do, was it?"

Ken scratched the back of his neck a bit. "It's just...people sometimes judge if you're out on your own and not a certain age. I wanted to give myself a bit of a buff to avoid any questions. I can take care of myself just fine, but other people don't believe that, y'know? As if fourteen versus fifteen is magical."

Wendy laughed. "There we go, now you're actually talking! You've been pretty nervous so far." She was noticing other things too that she didn't mentioned. _He lied about his age to fit in, he's itching himself….I've seen all of this before_.

Ken grinned apologetically. "I get a bit nervous around new people. Trying to impress them and whatnot."

"Tip to the wise, it's easier if you're just straightforward. Getting anxious doesn't do much, so just be yourself."

"Thanks."

Then Wendy frowned. "You called us strangers, but...you know quite a lot, even though I've never seen you before."

"It's mostly from what my mom tells me."

"Your mother..." Wendy tried as hard as she could to process that. Who among them would know a woman who at this point was old enough to have a fourteen-year-old son?

#########################################################################

"Grunkle Ford, what are you not telling us?" Dipper said as he ate the last of the chili. Meanwhile, Melody was getting some things out so they'd be ready to have dinner set by seven o' clock.

Stan nodded. "You clearly recognized that kid's mom's name. You gonna enlighten the rest of us?"

Ford hesitated. "Yes, I knew a Yuki Takigawa. It would explain almost everything if it was the same one. But one detail doesn't add up..."

"What?"

Ford took a deep breath. "She was unmarried when I met her."

Dipper's voice was raised in surprise as he exclaimed. "Wait, what? Then why would she have a kid with that name?"

Stan growled. "Kid, we can't be too careful. We can only assume he's hiding something. Don't trust him." He pounded the table with a closed fist.

Ford shook his head. "From what I could tell, he's a nice kid. I don't think he's hiding it to harm anyone." He got up and looked out the window. "But if not, then why?"

#################################################################################################################

"Here they are!" Ken dashed over to the giant rucksacks that were next to the outhouse, one of which was clearly holding a tent and related materials.

"See? Nothing happened to them." Wendy grinned. "Just because weird things happen here doesn't mean something bad happens ALL the time."

A bit ironic that the lover of B-movies said the line that triggered one of the most cliche tropes ever.

Ken noticed a flash coming from the outhouse. "Say, um, Mrs. Pines..."

"Call me Wendy." She frowned. "Dipper's _mother_ is called Mrs. Pines, so -"

"Right, right -" He said, cutting her off. "Anyway, the portal-pottys are one-way, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I just saw it flash as if it was transporting someone...no one went in there just now, so..."

"Ah, I'm sure you're hallucina-"

BOOM! CRACK!

The door to the outhouse flew off its hinges as the shockwave knocked both Wendy and Ken off their feet. As the dust cleared and they looked up, four humanoid beings stood looking at their surroundings. They weren't quite human, though….their skin was a deep shade of green and their heads were shielded by thick brown masks comprised of what looked like a vast array of tree branches. As the two remained still, one of the strangers spoke up. "Success! We have finally breached the dimensional rift!"

"Agreed! We must report back to command! The time of our reckoning is at hand!"

Unfortunately, when Ken heard those words, he couldn't help but say. "Reckoning?"

Wendy tried to warn him "Shhh!" but it was too late. As the visitors looked down, they saw the two sprawled on the floor.

"Ah, two humans! Shall we torture them for their crimes?"

"A time will come for that. For now, no witnesses." Their arms stretched out and grabbed Ken, hoisting him up, arms behind his back.

"Ken, NO! Leave him alone!" Wendy shouted. One of the masked men reached out to grab her and was promptly surprised. "Get off me!" she demanded as she used her feet to kick him in the stomach, causing him to fall.

Ken wasn't about to let himself become dead meat either. He headbutted his captor, causing him to release the arms. The Takigawa then rushed his other opponent, causing them both to fall to the ground. Picking himself up, he noticed his other captor rushing him from behind and turned around to deliver a punch that sent him reeling back. However, as he tried to catch his breath...

"Cool it, hothead! Hands in the air!" He turned around to see the fourth, forgotten being aiming what looked like a gun at him. As he froze there, his captives grabbed him again, leaving him open as the gun-wielder seemed to snicker. "You just accelerated the timeline of your death." Ken closed his eyes, ready for the end…

"AAUGH!" ...and opened his eyes to see an arrow piercing his enemy's heart. Everyone turned to where Wendy stood, having aimed her crossbow, breathing heavily. Ken used the opportunity to again free himself from his foes, but they seemed less interested in that than in rushing towards their fallen teammate.

"Comrade! Hang in there."

"Ugh...these scum….we're falling back..." he panted.

They collected themselves and turned around. "Hear me well, humans! We have observed your kind for centuries...seen your lack of mercy, your capacity to kill, animals and your own alike….we were planning to give you a chance to avoid bloodshed and surrender peacefully. After this, however, you have made the decision clear. The next time you meet us, consider us at war." With that and a flash of light, they vanished.

The two humans took one look at each other, grabbed the bag nearest to each of them, and made a beeline for the only group of people who could explain what just happened.

##############################################################################

"GRUNKLE STAN! GRUNKLE FORD!" Down dashed the energetic brunette woman of the family. "So sorry it took me this long to say hi, I was working on your gifts!" She gave the her nerdier Grunkle a pair of goggles with an interesting elastic design - the six-fingered hand over and over.

"Oh, Mabel, you really shouldn't have after all these years!" Ford smiled as he pulled the elastic to test its durability.

"Nonsense, Grunkle Ford! As for you, Grunkle Stan..." Mabel gave him two gloves, each embroidered with the symbol on the fez he had long ago passed to his successor.

"Oh, um, thanks for the gloves." Stan commented, clearly underwhelmed.

Mabel giggled "Oh, I think you missed the best part! Check the fingers!"

Stan did, and soon he emitted a "Whoa, what the - " for on each finger, roughly halfway from the base to the tip, was a band of black leather among the otherwise wool gloves. He looked up at Mabel, who was smiling.

"I was thinking, wouldn't it be great if Stan could wear gloves comfortably UNDER his brass knuckles? So I just decided to use leather there while the wool keeps the rest of your hand warm! Wha-" she interrupted herself as she saw Stan start to get emotional. "Are you crying?"

She kinda expected Stan's gruff response. "There's lint in my eye!"

The two twins looked at each other and smiled. They knew what that actually meant. Together they craned their necks up.

"Phoebe! Your Great-Grunkles arrived!"

"Finn! Gladys! Come on, sweeties, make the original twins feel at home!"

Soon they heard a clattering of noise as three pairs of footsteps started thumping down at a remarkable pace. First came a redhead, who stammered out. "Great-Grunkle Stan! Great-Grunkle Ford! So sorry to keep you guys waiting!" as she hugged them in turn. They noted her trembling and tried to reassure her - "No, not at all!" "Still like your father, huh?".

Then that was followed by two identical brunettes - one a boy, one a girl - practically flying into them shouting "Stan! Ford! Welcome home! How was your trip! Did you miss us!" It was probably a good thing they were sitting down for that one.

Such a picturesque scene….until yet another trope was fulfilled.

BAM!

Everybody in the room - which at this point was almost every Pines and Ramirez in Gravity Falls - whipped their head around as one black and one red blur ran straight through the door and into the opposite wall. They breathed heavily with backs slumped against said wall.

Dipper decided to sound a little upbeat. "Hey, you guys got the stuff! Glad nothing happened to it, Ken! Um….why are you looking so livid?"

Ken panted "We...may...have...just started a war."

Wendy's breath had slowed a little more. "Dude, I'm sure it's fine….at least we don't need any more out-of-order signs..." she tried laughing weakly.

Dipper face betrayed worry. Mabel was the only one focused on him, thankfully. "Bro-bro, you ok?" She whispered out of the corner of her mouth so only he could hear.

"Um, yeah..." he said unconvincingly in his lowest voice. Looking from her brother to the two heavily breathing Mabel made a snap decision. She bounced up to their guest and asked "Hey, how are you? You new?" Not that she needed telling, the town didn't have that many faces.

Ken nearly had another breakdown - from surprise attack to manic energy, things were happening so fast - but then reminded himself of the conversation he just had in the woods. He put on his best smile. "Yeah, name's Ken Takigawa." He looked at Mabel and Dipper and said "You're Dipper's sister, aren't you?" before realizing he had said that out loud.

Not that Mabel minded; she even seemed to enjoy it. She laughed and was like "Aren't you a smart one? Yep, that's my bro-bro! My twin, actually! The name's Mabel, rhymes with Maple, rhymes with Cable, rhymes with...ah..." she got lost, remembering that she and Soos never did finish that rap. Saving some face, she decided to try another tack. "Hey kids, don't be strangers, welcome our guest!"

To be fair, hers didn't need to be told twice. Even as their cousin hung back, the two twins came forward and grabbed Ken's hand. He found himself pulled forward a bit as they shook him mercilessly. The girl spoke up, "Hi, Ken! I'm Gladys and this is Finn!" He studied the two while being shook mercilessly. The two had the same brown hair that their mother and uncle did

Finn was a bit more controlled than his sister, but clearly no less excited in the inside. "Glad to have you! Staying here for long?"

Ken smiled, figuring he had to fake serenity in order to make it. "Well, I'll be in town for the summer, but I'm spending the first night here, now that I have my tent."

"Sweet!" Finn said looking at the bags. "Can I help you set it up? Always love a good campout!"

Say what you will about Mabel's branch of the Pines family, but their good energy was infectious. Ken found himself smiling as he said, "Sure, in fact I'll cut you a deal. We set up the tent, maybe get a fire going outside, and if you have a spare sleeping bag you can spend the night."

Finn made a ka-ching sound as he pumped his fist. "Sweet! You got yourself a deal!"

Gladys objected. "Hey, no fair! I want to have fun too! Who doesn't love a campout?"

Suddenly all three of them turned as they heard a girl say "Guys, come on! Seriously? Be careful, we don't know this guy." The young redhead spoke up for the first time. "I mean, that's a bit weird, isn't it?" She turned, expecting to see support from her family. She found none, however - Mabel just seemed confused at her outburst. It's not exactly the first thing you hear out of someone's mouth, after all.

Dipper sighed, knowing that on a genetic level he was partly responsible. "Phoebe..."

"No, it's ok, really" Ken interjected. Just as Finn and Gladys filled him with confidence, the girl's outburst made him self-aware again. "Um, sorry...Phoebe, was it?" he said apologetically, his head hanging a little. "I just got a bit, uhm, over-excited. Thought I could get to know you guys a bit better, you seem like a nice group and I've heard a lot about the Pines.."

Phoebe was, however, equally embarrassed. "No, I, um, didn't mean to snap...it's just, you know, the woods out here…I mean, we don't get a lot of visitors, so I thought..." she began murmuring something about traps.

Dipper used this awkward moment to sidle up to his wife. He whispered so only she could hear. "Wendy, what happened out there?"

Wendy breathed in. "I think the family needs to hear this all at once. But, um….that thing you were worried about...I think it's here. And I may have made them angrier than they already was."

Dipper gulped. He took one look at his grunkles, both of whom were focused on the exchange among teenagers that was unfolding in front of them. Dipper frantically but silently waved one arm until Ford looked up, then pointed at the teens and made a pointing gesture to the door before miming a clock moving forward with his fingers until they formed a right angle. The message was clear enough to the senior weirdologist - _Get the kids out of here by nine tonight._

Thus, he decided to speak up. "Phoebe, it'll be alright. You girls can use the spare tent to pitch camp next to Finn and Ken. And you'll be on our property anyway, so you'll be close enough to shout for help if anything goes wrong. It's still in the RV, I think."

"Works for me." Ken said, smiling a little. Phoebe took a second and nodded silently, still embarrassed.

As the two headed outside along with Mabel's twins, who were talking animatedly for sixteen year-olds, Dipper turned to the other and said, "Calling it now, everyone in this room is having a family meeting tonight after dinner. You too, Soos." The second Mr. Mystery simply nodded.

Mabel looked at him. "Dipper, is something wrong? This is the first time you've called one and not Ford." She turned to Wendy only to notice that she seemed less like a bag of ice than usual. Not a good sign if she was panicking.

Dipper took a deep breath "There's a lot to explain…and you won't like it."


	4. A New Arrival, Part 3

**[Hey guys, sorry about taking so long on this. And even then the last few pages were a rush job because my folks got in the way of my free time before going abroad - I really hate coming home for the summer. Sorry if this isn't the best, I'm trying to find a fast yet efficient writing style that will probably end up being different from past ones. All that is also why despite this being the end of Episode One, the Kamen Rider suit is clearly still a prototype and the fight scene is short. In Episode Two you'll get the cool stuff, including the full power of the "Chapters" and the full henshin sequence. BTW, if you want to try drawing what you think this Kamen Rider should look like, message me your notes.**

 **Gravity Falls is owned by Disney, while Kamen Rider is owned by Toei.]**

A few hours later, several yards away from the Mystery Shack, four teenagers sat around a campfire. A tent was on either side of the fire, giving them a clear view of the Shack and the woods opposite of it. They each leaned back on the foldable camp chairs they had taken from the house as they thought about how the evening had gone.

Setting up camp had been fairly easy with eight hands helping. Ken had gotten a reading off of his three companions based off of those few minutes alone. Gladys was the most energetic, Finn was a bit more toned down but still carefree and happy-go-lucky, and Phoebe was very methodical about everything. Ken grinned at the memory of one particular exchange between them.

" _No, come on! The peak is supposed to be in the center, not tilted to the left! We're gonna have to redo this one," The redhead had moaned._

 _Gladys giggled. "Oh, come on, Fee-Fee! It'll be fine, nothing's perfect!"_

" _No, that means the entire tent is being tilted to the side, I'm not sleeping smooshed next to you just because we have an uneven roof!"_

 _Finn chuckled a bit. "Phoebe, you don't take up nearly enough space to be worried about that."_

" _Oh come on! It's not my fault"_

" _I'm just saying..."_

 _Ken took the time to move to the tent and feel around the pole sleeves and called out. "Guys! I got this." He pinched two edges close to the center and nudged them a bit. The tent snapped straight up!_

" _Cool!" Both twins said simultaneously, but Phoebe asked "Wait, have you done this before?"_

 _Ken looked up. "Camping? About four times?"_

" _We've been camping time after time in these woods and we never learned that trick!" Phoebe smiled a bit._

" _Glad to have helped," Ken smiled back, fully at ease._

Over dinner they had another good conversation, while chomping down some tacos that Soos had brought out to them, along with paper plates and a small bag. " _Sorry, doods, we need the kitchen tonight so you have stay outside. Just throw away the plates when you're done and tie the bag."_

 _As Soos had left, Ken had continued where they left off. "So, your Great-Grunkle just takes random pieces and tries to pass them off as freaks of nature?"_

 _Phoebe shrugged. "Most of the town knows, but they're fine with it. Soos became his successor because he believed they had meaning nevertheless and dared people to dream."_

 _Finn and Gladys looked at each other. "Gladys, how about we invite our participant to have some fun?"_

" _That? Ooh, great idea!" Gladys clapped her hands together and rubbed them._

" _Wait, what?" Ken asked._

 _Gladys explained "We take turns being a judge and giving the others a random object. They then have to think of something Stan would make out of it to make a profit. Here, I'll go first - what would he do with a wristwatch?"_

 _Ken leaned back. "Well, first he should break it, then say it was the last thing anyone ever found of a tourist who went missing five years ago. Once he's gotten tired of the attraction, he sells the watch."_

 _Fin whistled. "Not bad for round 1."_

Now, however, they were relaxing as Phoebe first bent her plate a bit and then threw it in the bag. She heaved a heavy sigh. "I can't help but wonder...the last time, they let us in for dinner and then we went back outside. This time we're basically kicked out!"

"Calm down!" Gladys laughed. "I'm sure nothing onerous is happening in there! They'd let us know if there was! Pfffffttt!"

Finn looked a bit more unsure. "There's not really any other reason they'd kick us out, though..."

"What could possibly be going on that we don't already know about? I'm sure everything's fine."

Something about Gladys' charm made Ken want to bring her to reality. "No, guys." All three of them looked at him. "I know what they're talking about in there. And I'm guessing Ford kicked us out because they might know more than even I do."

Phoebe spoke up. "Wait, what happened? Is it what you and my mom were running from?"

Ken stumbled a bit "I don't know if I should tell you, since they clearly don't want us to know more."

"Please? It's not fair you know more as an outsider than we do." Finn protested.

Ken looked at the faces around him, but it took only a few seconds before he cracked. "Alright, but only because you two" - pointing to the twins - "are older than me and you" - turned to Phoebe "are younger than all of us but yet seem more alert than them."

"Hey!" two indignant voices called.

He continued "But you have to pretend you never heard this, and that includes not asking the adults in there to go into more detail."

All three nodded. He leaned back and said, "Well, we were going back to the portal-potty I used to get here when these weird beings somehow appeared out of it..."

##########################################################################

"...and by shooting them, I may have started a war. They said that they'd been observing us for centuries and wanted us gone, but would have still offered mercy had I not wounded one of the welcoming party." Wendy groaned, "They were gonna kill Ken, I had no choice!"

"They would have attacked anyway. Don't trust anything a violent man says. One of many lessons from those nights I spent in Colombian prisons." Stan growled.

Around the table sat Dipper, Wendy, Mabel, Stan, Ford, Melody, and Soos. They had just finished eating and with the dishes clean they had gotten to business. With Wendy's story relayed, everyone was gauging each other's reactions, and for all the variety there was one common strand - a hint of concern.

Soos spoke up first. "Hey, even if you did trigger something, no one blames you, dawg. Saving a stranger from being slaughtered to make a point? That's beyond reproach."

Ford coughed for attention, "Well, whether it was a good thing or not is besides the point. The real issue is that we may have made a powerful enemy."

Everyone except Melody looked at ford expectantly - she still looked at him, just with surprise instead. Stan spoke up "Poindexter, what are you not telling us?"

"I have an idea for who it could be...but right now, it's only an idea. I'm going to need more information. Can we visit the site tomorrow?"

Wendy replied. "Sure, but...can you at least tell us your current guess?"

Ford breathed in. "Well, it would take awhile to explain, but suffice to say, it can't be good if I'm right."

Dipper got up, his mind resolved. "Then it's time I showed you all something." He strode to the vending machine, punched the code in and went downstairs.

Stan looked at Mabel. "Any idea what the kid's talking about?"

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Come on, Grunkle Stan, we may be twins, but I'm not paying attention to every science project! Anyway, I thought Dipper hates it when you call us kids, since we have our own!"

Stan shrugged. "It's not like you hate it, though."

Wendy smiled. It wasn't just that she knew what her husband had to say. Even in the face of danger, these two were chatting carelessly and making her crack up on the inside at the mundaneness of it all. Add that to the list of reasons she loved being part of the family.

Dipper strode back to the table and plopped a small briefcase onto the table. "The truth is, for the past few months I've been having this odd...feeling that something was coming." Everyone's attention was on him, so out of the corner of his eye he saw Wendy zip her lips. Neither of them had ANY intention of telling the others it was through dreams. He continued, "I figured we needed a new method of taking it down. So I modified one of our more recent experiments."

He opened the case to reveal the device he had been working on. It was circular with rectangular protrusions on either side, with a rotatable faceplate taking up the circular portion of the front. On top was what looked like a slot for something - perhaps the two flash drives that were also in the case.

Ford's eyes widened. "Dipper, is that...the Journal Driver?"

Dipper nodded as everyone else looked on cluelessly. "The whatnow?" Melody asked.

Dipper explained. "A few years ago, Grunkle Ford and I had this idea. We were so inspired by the many natural capabilities of the other-worldly species in this forest that we asked ourselves a ridiculous question - what if a human could experience being one of them? A mermaid, for example, or a Multi-Bear, or even a ghost! This belt was designed to do just that - give the wearer a suit that would be able to simulate whatever species we gave it data for."

Ford spoke up. "There's a reason we never used it, Dipper. Or told anyone else about it. There was always the possibility of DNA instability. The stress it puts on the human body, infusing it with biological data for another being that shouldn't exist in this world...it might not be able to reconstruct itself properly afterwards."

Dipper sighed "I know, Grunkle Ford. I didn't think I'd get back to work on this either, really. Not when we retired it. But a few months ago I got the feeling we would be in danger soon, so I began retooling it. It will still use data from our research as input, but instead of complete transformation, it uses that in conjunction with durable armor to increase the wearer's strength, durability, and speed as well as grant them the features most key to what they are imitating."

Soos spoke up "Oh, dood, kinda like a Kamen Rider."

Everyone looked at him. "Soos, what on earth are you yapping about now? Is this another of your animes?" Stan asked.

"No. Well, it sounds like something that would be." Soos said, causing everyone to lean in a little. "Legend has it that there are fighters in Japan who battle such threats time and time again. One after another, each facing a different kind of foe, but all of them using Drivers to give themselves the suit needed to protect themselves in their long fight. These people are called...Kamen Riders."

The youngest Pines at the table looked at his device, not entirely sure how to feel about all this. He heard his grunkle give a "Humph!" of contempt just before Wendy spoke up.

"Dude, that actually sounds kinda cool!" Melody and Mabel shot her weird looks. "I mean, sure, the fate of the world being threatened every year is a nightmare, but can you imagine how awesome it would be to be one of those Riders?"

Melody looked like she needed some convincing, but Mabel seemed to get it. In fact, she started clapping her hands madly as she excitedly proclaimed "Oooh, Wen-Wen, you're so tough, I bet you could use it and these baddies would be running for the hills!"

Ford stopped the conversation with a six-fingered fist slamming the table. "We're getting ahead of ourselves! Dipper..." he looked his great-nephew in the eye. "Give it to me straight - were you able to make the device safe?"

A long moment passed as it felt like everybody stared him down. Dipper finally caved and sighed. "I was able to reduce the risk, but...it's still 1 in 20."

The reaction from Ford was instantaneous. "What were you thinking? This can result in whoever uses it decaying to nothing over time to nothing!"

"Look, it's not perfect." Dipper ran his hand through his hair. "But it's the best we got. Besides, the first few uses on their own can't possibly do any damage, and it'll allow me to adjust it to be 100% safe from those readings. And I know the risks…." and then he said what was the trickiest line of that night "...which is why I'm using it. No one else!"

The fallout from that moment was memorable for all the wrong reasons.

"NO!" three people simultaneously grabbed the suitcase, causing it to fly out of their hands. Wendy grabbed the case as it landed on the table again and looked at Mabel, Stan, and Ford.

"Don't bother, guys. This is basically what happened when I tried telling him that last night. His mind's made up." She looked at the case and murmured to herself "...for now, at least."

Stan stepped in yet again. "Look, since you have to take Poindexter to the site tomorrow, why not wait until after that to make a decision? If it's serious, it's serious, but not before then."

Dipper sighed. "Alright, but so long as everyone understands that our chances of avoiding this issue are slim. Meeting adjourned."

Soos was the first to get up, helping Melody rise as well. "Great talking to you all, but we should get home." The other nodded, glad at times like these that Soos and Melody lived not too far from the Shack, but in their own house nonetheless.

Mabel decided to pat Dipper on the back reassuringly. "Relax, bro-bro, I'm sure this will all blow over. We haven't had a big problem for 26 years! Nothing will start now! Whop!" she poked her brother before heading to her room.

Stan rose without a distinguishable word, though he did grumble quite a bit. Ford sighed before getting up and looked Dipper in the eye. "You can bring it with you tomorrow just in case, but for God's sake, don't use it until it's absolutely necessary."

Dipper looked at him in the eye. "Trouble has always found us, Grunkle Ford, but I've gotten better about not looking for it myself. I promise."

Ford nodded as he left. Wendy looked at Dipper as the two got up and headed to their room.

"If we're being realistic, that went about as well as expected." Wendy said as the two changed into nightclothes.

"I suppose you're not wrong on that front - depressing as that is." Dipper tugged his shirt on. "Man, I was really hoping for more support out there with me using the Journal Driver."

"Dude, come on!" Wendy smiled a bit. "I objected to that last night. Do you really think the others don't care about you enough? Especially after Ford blabbed about the weakness."

As the two lay down together, Wendy decided to ask Dipper about something that had occurred to her. "Dipper, I won't pretend to know as much about biotech as you or Ford - God knows plants are easier to deal with than animals - but wouldn't it be possible for us to just take turns with it? Reduced DNA mutation rate, maybe our bodies can fix ourselves in between turns?"

Dipper sighed as he propped himself up a bit. "I suppose that could work, but..." he hesitated.

"You can tell me."

Dipper looked at Wendy. "When I told you last night I didn't want you using the Driver, DNA damage wasn't my biggest concern. Think about what happened today, based on what you were saying." He looked at her with concerned eyes. "Just a few of them and you would have been possibly killed had you not been carrying your most lethal weapon. And the regret you had about that shot...I know you once told me we could handle things together, but when there's only room for one..." He cast a glance at where he had put the case down, "I'm not making you deal with more than you should."

"OK, just stop."

Dipper turned to see his wife staring with intent and almost penetrating eyes.

"First of all, literally everything you said just now - I can turn that back on you whenever I want. That's already happening in my mind. Second off, if those guys turn out to be threatening everyone and are as bad as Ford said, then trust me..." Dipper could see her fist ball up "...that regret will disappear quickly. Third...it's pretty clear that you'll be the one to use that Driver tomorrow, but I want you to understand one thing - whatever you end up doing for us, don't think for an instant that I would hesitate to do the same for you, no matter the cost."

Dipper looked at her for a minute then hugged her. "I'm sorry. That's twice in two days I've forgotten how well you handle yourself. I don't know why..."

Wendy patted her back, completely relaxed again. "Don't get all guilt-trip on me again, Dipper. You know it's because you go to such lengths to protect people close to you that I always feel safe." She smiled as the two returned to completely flat positions. "Just try to remember that you don't have to do it alone, ok?"

Dipper smiled, feeling her in his arms. He decided that they had to end the night on a better note than that. "I will say, Soos' reaction was priceless."

"Right?" His wife snorted. "Kamen Rider...the things those Japanese believe in..."

"Yeah." He chuckled. "Although that does give me ideas for some aesthetic changes I want to make to the system."

"Dude, really? Never thought that'd be on your mind right now."

"You know if I don't, then Mabel will."

"Yeah, I see your point." They both laughed as they fell asleep.

############################################################################################################################################################

"That's actually impressive that you were able to hold off that long!" Gladys tossed a marshmallow to their guest at the fire.

Ken caught it and looked at it for a bit. "My mom enrolled me in some taekwondo for a few years, but since I wasn't into it I just used the elements to make my own fighting style." He tossed the marshmallow into his mouth

"Whoo!" Finn whistled appreciatively. "That's impressive. What, did you live in a bad neighborhood?"

"Um, no…." Ken looked down. "I just...um..."

Gladys laughed innocently "You can tell us! It's not weirder than anything else that goes on here."

"It's...a little embarrassing, really…"

Phoebe took one look at the situation and knew exactly what to do. "You know, these guys can be nosy….apparently when I was a baby, they'd approach me and spook me so much that I just started biting everyone who dared to take me by surprise!"

Gladys took a look at Phoebe. "Why are you…?"

"...and then years later, Gladys said one of the most ridiculous things possible, saying that those were like - "

"NOPE!" Finn cut in. "You are not finishing that story!"

Ken in spite of himself started laughing uncontrollably. "Oh my god, you guys are klutzes!"

They gave him a minute to calm down before Phoebe said, "Whatever you were about to say, I can guarantee these two have said wackier. Just thought you wanted to know." Internally, she was heaving a sigh of relief. _Man, putting on a brave face is hard work. Pretty sure I couldn't have pulled that off if the memory wasn't about the twins -they deserve it at this point._

Ken exhaled. "I...I idolized action heroes back then, OK? I wanted to be one..." he looked into the woods. "Sometimes I still do."

Finn clapped him on the back. "Hey, you may get your chance here. Like we said, weirder things happen."

Ken shrugged. "Given what I'm here for, I don't think I'll have that time." Deciding to ward off the question he anticipated as a follow-up, he added "You know, I think I'm gonna turn in."

"Well, if you are, we all might as well."

As the others put out the fire, Ken hit a few buttons on his watch to set a soft alarm to 6:00. _That portal...I'm partly responsible for what happened. I at least need to learn more…_

###################################################################################################

Beep, Beep, Bee-!

By the third time his alarm went off, Ken woke up and turned it off. Next to him Finn was still snoring, but Ken still was careful to quietly leave the tent and zipper the door sealed without alerting him. As he went outside, he heard a few voices from the Shack and hid behind a tent, determined to keep his trip a secret. However, he watched as three figures - he recognized them as Ford, Dipper, and Wendy - stepped outside. Dipper was holding a black briefcase while the others seemed to be carrying different tools, hard to make out from this distance.

As they disappeared to the woods, Ken immediately knew where they were headed. _Better keep out of sight_ , he reasoned as he walked straight into the treeline, careful to remain behind the group and hidden as best as he could be.

#####################################################################################

"Let's hope they don't think the magnet gun is carrying any bullets" Ford looked at Dipper's sidearm as the three walked.

Wendy shrugged. "Looking at what I'm wearing, that might be the least of our problems." She had an outfit exactly like the one from the day before - complete with the hatchet and crossbow.

Dipper took one look at them both. "Well, Grunkle Ford's probably the safest of us three - really need to think about getting a greatcoat." He nodded towards where he knew Ford was hiding a laser pistol. "Still, we'll lead with my magnet gun for negotiations. If they break down, my faith is in you both - " small smiles emerged on their faces only to disappear when he finished "- and this". The brunette looked down at the case in his hands.

"Assuming that you survive, that is." Ford sighed. "Still probably our best bet, though. You said you finished two of the data files for it - 'Chapters', you called them?"

"Yeah, after the Journals. Two of them are in here, but one's more for a base form. Y'know, something just to give a small boost of power. Besides, I - "

"Sh!" Wendy held up a hand. "We're here."

The three of them stopped at the shattered remains of the outhouse. Ford took out a handheld device that Dipper recognized as a bioscanner. As the old man swept it around the area, it hummed. "There should be enough residual energy for me to see where it came from, and if so what they were. We're just lucky they're not around"

Suddenly, the device started beeping madly. Dipper groaned. "Of course you had to say that."

Wendy looked concerned. "It's not supposed to do that, is it?"

"Not unless something is supposed to come through the portal. Stay back!"

As all three backed up, twenty of the masked men from yesterday appeared with a flash. They moved around restlessly - did Wendy imagine the growling - until their leader held up a hand. "Silence, men." As they quieted down, he faced the humans.

"So, it seems we are in the right place. The man responsible for starting this world's near-apocalypse - " he looked at Ford, who was unexplainably on his knees muttering "No..", before continuing "- the grown-up version of the boy who stood against it - " his gaze turned to Dipper "- and the woman who killed our own yesterday." He held in his hand a small blade - a miniature axe? - and as his gaze turned to the redheaded lumberjill, he raised it.

Fortunately, it whizzed out of his hand and with a satisfying CLANG landed on Dipper's magnet gun. As he deactivated his gun and let the axe fall with a thud, Dipper looked at the man who threatened his wife. "You provoked her into action by threatening an innocent bystander. You won't be taking any lives."

The masked leader let out a guttural laugh, as did a few members of his crew. "Us provoke you? That is an ignorant claim. For years we have seen you tear up your home, and in the process tear up ours. Humans do not appreciate the connection of life, it seems. We are therefore here to take it from them. Only one species should be doomed, rather than both, for their transgressions."

Wendy just stood there shocked. "What are you talking about? Destroying your world with ours?"

The masked leader looked at her, as if with cold eyes. "Fools. Even the different dimensions are connected - particularly in Gravity Falls, but the whole of Earth affects us! We have seen what you have done to each other, and as an interested party we are ready to pass judgement."

Ford finally found the courage to speak. "No one elected you judge of these people!" With that he drew his laser pistol and aimed it at the commander.

"So, you recognize us from your travels? It has been forty years, after all!"

"Yeah, and I remember enough to know how stubborn you are when you've decided to go to war! Which is why I call these negotiations to an end!" With that, Ford fired.

The commander simply leaned to the side, allowing the blast to go right ask him and strike one of the troops behind him. "Couldn't agree more. FORWARD!"

With that, they surged towards the Pines, at which point pandemonium ensued. Wendy met her first assailant with a calm swipe of her hatchet before having to turn to meet another with her boot. Soon she was dealing with a third, blades locked. Dipper saw the first, not quite beaten yet, rise to take a cheap shot at Wendy from behind with his own axe.

"NO!" Without thinking, he ran and tackled the assailant, throwing him to the ground. He slid a few feet as he landed, so that his ankle rather than his chest was in line with the man's arm. Next thing he knew the enemy had driven the Axe into his ankle, and he howled in pain. He kicked with his bleeding foot and knocked his foe out for real this time.

"Dipper!" Wendy saw his pain and was distracted long enough for her opponent to break out of the weapons lock and kick her back a few feet. She soon found herself back-to-back with Ford, who was shooting his laser pistol at the crowd. Oddly enough, whenever they hit their mark the lasers seemed to cause the men to stagger back but then continue inching closer as if they didn't hurt much.

"I got your back! What are these things?" Wendy switched to her crossbow and found she had similar results.

"Call them Parallels, I'll explain later! Where's Dipper?"

They turned to see one lone Parallel soldier towering over Dipper ready to strike a finishing blow.

"NO!" They both shouted before their sight was blocked by the oncoming crowd.

#########################################################################

From the shadows, Ken saw the whole thing unfold. When the first shot was fired, he resisted the urge to join the side of his fellow man, worried about getting caught starting another fight with these things. But when Dipper was about to be killed, he could no longer hold back. Charging forward out of the wooded cover, he jumped into the air and landed a kick right in the shoulder, causing the Parallel to fall.

"Ken? What are you doing here?!" Dipper asked in surprise.

"I felt I had to make sure nothing bad could come of me having met these guys before in the way I did. Guess I was wrong."

Dipper struggled to his feet as he opened the briefcase and took out the Journal Driver and one of the Chapters. "It's not your fault. Right now we have to get the others and get out of here." As he tried to lower the Driver to his waist, his ankle gave out and he found himself on the ground again, unable to get up.

"Come on, please!" he begged himself as he tried to rise again but failed. Ken looked into the crowd, where Wendy and Ford were fighting for their life with TSEWs and TWANGs. He looked at his archeological idol, nearly crying out of fear and pain. He looked at the weapon that the man carried in his hands, their best hope….and he knew what to do.

 **[AN: Soundtrack: NateWantstoBattle cover of Gravity Falls theme]**

Ken stooped down and pulled the Driver and flash drive from Dipper's looked up in panic. "Wait! What are you doing?"

"Saving your life and repaying a debt!" With that, Ken slapped the Driver onto his waist. Immediately a silver belt emerged from one side, went around his waist, and clipped into the other side. Ken looked at the device as he flipped the flash drive open. There was some slot in the middle of the Driver, but when he stuck the stick in it did nothing.

Dipper took one look at the mob and shouted out, "Rotate the faceplate to your left!"

Ken looked at him, surprised he was helping. The man nodded his head towards where he last saw his wife and grunkle. "Please, get them out of there."

Ken nodded before taking both hands and spinning the faceplate into position. As he did, a flash of light erupted as he could feel his body pulsate. Before he knew it, tan armor appeared over his body as his face was covered with a mask that gave him bug eyes. Overall he thought he looked like a human woodland bug. But what really shocked him was the power. He could feel that he was faster and stronger than he had been before this point.

"What is this?" He looked at his own gloves for a second before closing his fists. "Incoming!" He charged into the fray, punching foes in front of him and watching them fall left and right until he reached the two shooting Pines, still back to back.

"Dipper! Guess it is time for that." Ford sighed relief. "Leg's holding up well enough to fight?"

"Dipper? What are you talking about? He's over there." Ken pointed.

As both Wendy and Ford shouted "What?" and became distracted looking in that direction. Ken took the opportunity to grab them both by the shoulder. "Hey!"

"Sorry about this!" He threw them out of the circle so they neatly landed next to Dipper on their backs.

"Dipper! Who is that?" Ford ran to where his student and grand-nephew lay.

"The last person you'd think," he replied as he looked into the crowd.

To be fair, that claim about making his own martial arts seemed to be working. With a sidekick, one fell down, then three rapid punches brought down the next, a brief duck to dodge an axe followed by a blow to the shin of the wielder. A quick elbow brought down the Parallel he had first clashed with, who had tried to get up for one more round. This time, to Ken's astonishment, he dissipated upon hitting the ground.

He was on the verge of shouting a triumphant "I can do this!" when he suddenly felt something hit him hard from behind.

TSEW! Laser fire whizzed past him as he realized he was just shot. It hadn't killed him or knocked him out - the suit must reduce the damage - but it had hurt, like too many of those could do serious damage. He turned to face the blasts only to get hit two more times, knocking him onto the ground.

Suddenly he heard the voice of the archaeologist call out "You have a weapon, just hold your hand out to summon it!"

Ken obeyed, and a quill appeared in his hand. Before he could object, the plume hardened and the tip extended and morphed into metal, becoming the blade of a cutlass. He rose to his feet and charged. "TAKE THIS!" he roared as he deflected an incoming shot then go to work slicing his foes.

The three other humans there were used to seeing the paranormal, but what they saw before them was unlike anything they'd ever witnessed. "Man I gotta admit, he puts all those action movies we watch to shame!" Wendy elbowed her husband, admiring the boy as he blocked an axe with the sword before swiftly countering.

Dipper wiped some sweat from his brow. "Wasn't sure that armor would hold up to blaster fire. Wonder if he knows how lucky he was."

Ford cut in. "He's a good fighter for sure, but does he have other qualities needed for something like this?" He pointedly looked to where, with a mighty SLASH, Ken had left only one Parallel standing. It glared with hatred filled eyes as the cutlass was aimed at his throat.

"Go on, then. Do it. Show me that side of humanity we've seen more than enough of," he dared the tan rider. For a long time it looked like he might. Finally Ken withdrew his blade a few inches.

"No. You're going to go back to your world and tell your superiors what happened. We acted in self-defense and you can never expect us not to protect ourselves. Even if I'm not here or the next skirmish - if you dare to have one - understand that whoever you fight, there will be blood. Save yourselves that price, whatever your issue with our kind may be." Ken had no idea where he came up with what he was saying, but it felt like the only words he could say.

The Parallel sneered. "You are nothing. We feared the Pines family because they vanquished the powerful Bill Cypher, but the fact that you had to save them makes it clear how empty your bluff is. I leave now," he continued, stepping into the remains of the outhouse, "but let me assure you, on behalf of my people - this is only the beginning." With that he disappeared.

As Ken pulled the drive out of the Driver, he felt the armor disappear from around him. Paying little heed to that, he rushed to his idol's side. "You alright, sir?"

Dipper heaved. "Yeah...just get me back home, there's a device we can sue to fix my leg."

As Wendy and Ken heaved him into a standing position, letting him lean on them for support, Ford appeared on Ken's other side. "Ken, was it? I need a favor. The truth is, we never used that device before and we have to make sure it's safe. Can we run your DNA to check for side effects of the transformation."

Ken nodded as Ford used a gauze pad to wipe part of the boy's arm before inserting a syringe and extracting a vile of blood. "Incidentally, you did good out there today. You should especially be proud of showing mercy towards the end."

Ken beamed as Dipper cut in again. "Yeah….I kinda gave you those things as a last-ditch effort, but you really pulled through. I can't thank you enough. You got them out of there."

Wendy put on a tough-guy facade for fun. "Oh, I could have handled those guys. I just should've packed more arrows. Like, three times as many."

Husband and wife laughed all the way home as the other two members of the party were lost in silent thought.

##############################################################################

"OK, put my ankle in, and….flip the switch now."

Ford obliged, causing a metal machine to clamp down on Dipper's leg and emit ultraviolet light. A few minutes later, he pulled his leg out and was standing on two legs again.

"Man, this speed-healing is great! Wish we could release this to the public instead of keeping it in the Shack."

"Ah, you know how it is." Ford muttered as Dipper ran upstairs. "You create something amazing, the the FBI lectures you about the importance of the healthcare job market to the economy..."

As Dipper made it up to where all the adult and Ken were waiting, he was immediately forced to save their guest from Mabel's suffocating embrace.

"Thank you, thank you so much!" She squeezed the uncomfortable Takigawa in gratitude. "Bro-bro keeps getting himself into messes, and I'm glad you could clean this one up for him. I told him he shouldn't use it, and I was right!"

"Alright, that;s enough." Her twin broke up the hugfest, only fr Stan to clap him on the back.

"So, squirt, how's it like being shown up by a kid? In all seriousness, good work, must have been a heckuva machine to help someone take down what Poindexter couldn't handle."

"Alright dawg! Looks like we have a champion indeed!" Soos clapped Ken on back soon after Stan had done it to Dipper. "Mr. Takigawa, dood, looks like you're a Kamen Rider!"

"A what?" Ken asked incredulously. Soos breathed in to respond, but then Dipper raised a hand.

"Too early to celebrate, guys. First we have to make sure Ford doesn;t find any - "

"WHAT!?"

Suddenly everyone was startled by hearing Ford scream from the lab below. After a few seconds of loud thumping, he emerged, throwing the vending machine door open haphazardly. "Everyone, you may want to brace yourself. It seems our guest is hiding something."

Stan raised his hands "Alright nerd. Calm down! First things first, is this kid gonna be alright? How'd your little DNA test go?"

Ford shook the papers in front of him. "His DNA is fine! No structure damage, no histone reprogramming...but while it was doing that, the lab flagged an anomaly. Here!" With that, he thrusted the papers into the hands of the only other person he trusted to read the data.

Dipper's shock and confusion were apparent as he read the results out loud. "25% matc of non-crucial zones with prior scan file? WHAT!?" He looked at his mentor. "But how, Grunkle Ford? Whose was it?"

Ford looked at everyone in turn. "There's only one other file in there. One that I took 56 years ago when we started working together on the interdimensional portal. Somehow, this kid has Fiddleford's DNA." He took a few deep breaths before turning to their guest. "Ken, does this mean what I think it means?"

Ken looked down at the floor, trying to get his heart rate under control as all eyes in the room lay on him. Finally, he looked up, trying to be as brave as he could about revealing the part about him that to him mattered the least but to those around him suddenly mattered the most.

"You have me, ok? I haven't used that surname in a long time, but if I'm to reclaim that piece of my life, I suppose here is where that reclamation begins." His gaze became piercing as he revealed with a quiet boldness. "Fiddleford McGucket is my grandfather. My full name is Ken….Takigawa...McGucket."


	5. The Return, Part 1

**[Hey guys, for those of you wondering I'm not abandoning Power Rangers Dimensions just because I'm writing Kamen Rider Weird. I'm working on it behind the scenes, I just need more time before it's ready. It will DEFINITELY be more segmented from now on, so if you want to wait more more than one chapter to be up at a time, I'll understand.**

 **As for this one, well, this chapter hopefully will address some of the questions that my exposition has so far left unanswered. Gravity Falls is owned by Disney and Alex Hirsch, while Kamen Rider is owned by Bandai Entertainment. Enjoy.]**

For a moment, Ford and Ken stared each other down. After such a revelation it was unclear who would crack first. Sadly, however, the phrase "age before beauty" did not apply, as Ken felt something inside of him crack. He could feel himself breathing heavily, as if he was about to either cry or throw up - he wasn't sure which. As he leaned back and closed his eyes, trying to reign his insides back in, all he could say was "I...I'm sorry, I - "

Ford leaned forward. "So what exactly is going on? Why lie about your identity? What made you - "

Stan took one look at everyone there and made an executive decision, grabbing his brother by the shirtsleeves and dragging him into the hall. "What is the matter with you?"

Ford brushed Stan's hand off him. "He's been lying to us, and I'm getting answers. Got a problem with that?"

"When you do it like that, Poindexter? Yeah I do. You're scaring him!"

"Oh, like you would know about that! When have you ever cared about that?"

Stan impatiently waved his hand in the direction of the giftshop. "I used to run this business, you know! You think you can get through this for thirty years without having some people skills?"

Ford calmed down a bit. "I suppose you have a point. So, Stanley, what's the plan."

Stan breathed in deeply. "For a genius, you can be an idiot sometimes. Alright, go out there, apologize, try to get him to tell you what's going on more peacefully."

Ford straightened his coat and walked back into the room, where he saw Dipper hand Ken a glass of water. "Sorry about that. Ford can be a bit intense."

Ken took a deep breath and drank a few gulps. "Well, I suppose I am to blame for it this time. You guys were such good hosts to me, and I - "

Wendy cackled from next to the wall. "Dude, you need to understand, we all have secrets. This entire house use to be the only ones in on the true nature of these woods. And Ford himself - "

"- has been through more than an old man should." Ford finished the sentence as he sat down. Staring straight into Ken's face, he took a deep breath and sighed. "Ken, I owe you a -"

"Stop." Ken's voice was level as he looked ford in the eye. "It was no more than I deserve. But you want answers on who I am, and I want answers on what happened this morning. Quid pro quo?"

At that moment, the door burst open and three eager teenagers surged in. Gladys immediately started, "Hey, where's Ken, we got worried when Finn said he wasn't - oh..."

Phoebe tapped her cousins on the shoulders. "Guys, I think we need to go."

"No, stay." Ford held up a hand and addressed Ken again. "OK, young one, I suppose that's only fair." He then turned to the three parents in the room. "Given what we saw today, I think its time the kids knew about all this - but only with your permission."

Wendy nodded wordlessly. Mabel turned to her children and called out "Sweeties..." As they drew near, she put a hand on each of them, wishing that they were still little enough that she could lighten the mood with some baby talk while down on one knee. "You understand the rules, right? This is our little secret. Never tell anyone outside this room."

Finn nodded solemnly. "It's alright, Mom. We know."

Dipper meanwhile looked at his daughter. "Kiddo?"

Phoebe couldn't help but sigh a bit. "Just another day for us, Dad. You know I'll keep quiet."

Both adult Pines twins nodded at their Grunkle. Ford turned his attention to the only other teenager in the room. "I suppose I'll go first. What if I told you this dimension was not the only one?"

Ken shook his head. "In the past day and a half, I have teleported using a toilet, been attacked by the same group of aliens twice, and turned into a super-soldier with a sword. Nothing is surprising anymore."

Dipper decided to interject. "Even if I told you he spent 30 years in different dimensions?"

Ken's eyes widened. "What? How?"

"Well..." Ford then launched into his story that everyone else in the Shack had heard so many times. It wasn't until ten minutes in that he said something worthy of their attention again.

"...about ten years into my travels, I discovered something that scared me to my core..."

###############################################################################

 _Earth year: 1994_

Ford tumbled onto the grass and looked up dazed. The woods around him looked familiar - no odd purple trees, no six-legged goats running around. For a small moment he dared to hope he was home.

Sadly, though, the minute he stood and looked up to see an ethereal portal in an otherwise clear sky, those hopes were dashed. Sighing, he ruffled his black hair and wondered how he might go about finding someone to talk to.

He didn't have long to wait. Suddenly he heard "Freeze!" and before he could process it he was slammed into the ground. He turned his face as much as he could to see a curious site - a humanoid figure with green reptilian skin, holding very clearly a knife. "State your name and intention!"

Ford immediately said without hesitation. "Stanford Pines. I come in peace and by accident, but I suggest you unhand me."

The creature's grip loosened for a second in hesitation. "Why would I?"

Ford used that second to roll out from under him and draw his laser pistol. "Because I've had a bad decade, and I've learned that you can only try reason for so long with someone!"

For a tense moment the two stared each other down, neither one lowering their arms. Then they both heard the sound of a horn pierce the air. Soon many different people surrounded them, all of them clearly wearing a blue uniform and holding weapons but otherwise having no obvious similarities. Some looked like human squids, others like the barks of trees, some like the green lizardman that was still staring Ford down knife in hand.

"Stand down, men! Hold!" From behind the line walked slowly forward an older version of the assailant - wearing regal red robes and limping on a cane. It was clear without a doubt who he was. "My son, lower your blade! Can you not see this man is acting out of fear and not hatred?"

The assailant - whom ford now knew was the Prince of this land - lowered the knife. "Understood, father. What do we do with him?"

"Bring him up to the palace. Let him be fed and bathed before seeing me"

 _Ford continued his story, "A few hours later, I found myself speaking to the King in his throne room. He told me of their people, who were far more advanced in genetic engineering and had experimented with animal gene splicing some years ago - hence the varied looks of his people. He apologized for his rebellious son's behavior, saying how he found it hard to trust anyone not part of their kind. That led me to asking what they called themselves, and his answer was both shocking and enlightening….."_

"Parallels? Why so, your Majesty?"

With that the King clapped his hands, and a Page came forth and kneeled before Ford holding what looked like a pair of sunglasses. "See for yourself."

Ford put them on and gasped. He could see humans walking around them. Buildings could be vaguely seen, and based on their shape Ford knew what they were - the White House, Capitol Hill, the Washington Monument. He was somehow seeing Washington D.C. "It can't be" he exclaimed as he lowered his lenses. "This world...it overlaps with my own!"

The king beamed. "So you ARE one of them! Yes, we've discovered some centuries ago that our world can observe yours - it seems across universes we are connected. It seems you are not advanced enough to know that, though..."

Ford ecstatically bowed "Then maybe there's a chance I can use that portal to get home. Your Majesty, may I study that rift I fell through?"

The King raised his staff. "Of course! The truth is, we have always wanted to find out how to use that so we may make contact with your kind! Stay in the palace as my guest for as long as you need."

" _For a few weeks I did - made friends, worked with researchers, learned more about their technology. However, it wasn't long before I learned by accident that some weren't quite as understanding as the King..."_

Ford was walking past the throne room one day when he heard the voice of the young Prince shout "How are you so blind?!"

Ford peeked in cautiously to see him kneeling in front of his father, but with his head raised in defiance.

"All these years, I've warned you of the dangers humankind poses to us. And now one walks among us and you still refuse to act."

The king spoke softly. "There still is the chance to talk with his kind. Peace is possible."

"Be reasonable, father. Everything they do sends ripples through our universe - cutting down their trees, killing their animals, polluting their waters. And how can they cooperate with us when even their own kind know no peace. Look only at recent wars, or even when a few days ago our children looked through lenses only to see a man try to kill their President. Only one race can live."

"Enough!" The king banged his scepter down firmly. "Kraus, your insolence is unbefitting of our line! As long as I am the reigning monarch, we will not be baited in hasty action and war! Am I understood?"

Prince Kraus rose, uttering only one word menacingly as he left - "Completely."

Ford left just before he was detected.

" _That night I will always remember. Credit where it's due - in both their military and their monarchy, they can efficiently move along the chain of command. I learned that the hard way in what is perhaps the quickest mutiny I have ever known..."_

"MURDER! TO ARMS! BETRAYAL!"

Ford woke up to several people shouting at once. Fearing the worst, he got up and ran downstairs, pulling his overcoat on as he ran. He came down to the most horrifying sight - the old man he had come to respect the past few weeks now lay on the floor before him, goblet fallen to one side. A doctor leaned by his side. "He was poisoned. This man, beloved by all, is now no longer in this world. Rest in peace." He closed the old king's eyes.

"It was him!" Everyone turned to see Kraus point at Ford. "None of our own would dare such a thing! This fiend is exactly what I feared."

Ford raised his hands in protest. "I was in my room this whole time. I'm sure there's another explanation..."

"Lies! All of it!" Kraus gestured to the crowd that had gathered at this point. "Friends, countrymen, I have long spoken about the threat humans pose! My father would not listen, let one into our capital even! Shall we really let him and his kind threaten us further! His crime, and the crime of his people, are punishable by death."

Ford turned to the nearest guard. "Please, you cannot mean to tell me you will act on this hasty judgment…."

For a second it felt everything was still. Then, the guard raised his rifle, uttering one simple explanation: "The King is dead. Long live the King."

"Oh no..." Ford looked around.

One by one, the other guards repeated "The King is dead. Long live the King." and raised their guns. Ford looked for a split second and ran.

"Don't let him escape!" The new King Kraus roared as his men surged forward. Ford pulled a flashlight from his pocket, took off his glasses, and shined the light through them. Blinded men screamed in confusion and lost their aim. TSEW! TSEW! In the laser fire that followed, the confusion bought Ford the running start he needed. He quickly patted his pockets to make sure he hadn't left anything in the lab as he ran.

The chase continued until he was right below the rift. Fortunately, in the time since he had last been there some branches had grown from nearby trees so they were just under the portal. He climbed with the agility of a monkey, desperate to get up there on time. He made it to the right branch just as Kraus' men closed in, their leader standing in the front. "How dare you kill our beloved king and try to run from your penalty!"

Ford boldly responded "You loved him little, you devil! You wanted an excuse to pin the blame on humanity!"

Kraus spread his arms. "Now my people see what fiendish actions yours are capable of! Soon our researchers will find a way through that portal to your world and conquer all, so that the civilized life that we have becomes their own! All who act as you have tonight shall feel our wrath - even if that means burning every last one of you! The Parallel Army shall reign over it all!"

Ford pulled something out of his jacket - something resembling a metallic grenade. "Perhaps one day. But it won't be from this one! And good luck finding another!" He prepared to jump.

Kraus' face turned into horror as he realized what was happening. "Shoot him down! Now!"

Ford leaped into the air just as lasers whizzed under him. Upon being safely in the vortex, he released the pin of the grenade and threw it down. He disappeared as it exploded in midair with a large BOOM.

Kraus shielded his eyes, and when he opened them again he gritted his teeth in anger. The precious portal had been replaced with the night sky, destroyed by Ford's weapon. "You have only delayed the inevitable, Stanford Pines. Your world will suffer for all its wrongdoings." He turned to his men. "Back to the castle! It's time I took my father's throne and prepared us for war."

#########################################################################################################

 _Present day..._

"I never knew for sure if they would ever find a way through, and eventually they faded into distant memory," Ford finished "Until, that is, Dipper told me last night about his visions - it wouldn't surprise me if the overlap between dimensions allowed them to enter his subconscious and terrorize him."

Ken began to object. "But if we could destroy their portal…."

Ford shook his head. "Kraus has had nearly fifty years to plan this. I'll bet you anything that he has many more set up. That Journal Driver worked against them today, and I'm afraid we're going to need it more in the future."

Mabel spoke up. "Well, I'm not worried. Based on what you told us, it sounds like Ken is a good person to use it as a Kamen Rider..."

Dipper interrupted, "First things first. Ken, it's your turn to uphold your end of the deal. Who are you, and how are you a McGucket that we've never heard of before?"

Ken nodded. "Alright, but I want to start by finding out how much you guys know." He turned to Ford. "You mentioned my mother, Yuki. I suppose you knew her?"

Ford nodded. "Three years after I came back home, I decided to keep my mind off things. Stan and I didn't have any expeditions planned, so I decided to start teaching at Portland University to stay nearby in case the kids decided to visit."

Mabel clapped her hands. "Ooh, I remember this! Didn't you teach some course about discovering new species?"

"'Fundamentals of Zoological Research', yes. Yuki was one of my best students. Inquisitive and intelligent, it was clear that she wasn't going to study in the field - she even told me that she was more interested in plant biology and was mostly using this to gain tangentially related knowledge. Still, her enthusiasm was genuine and she became one of my favorite students. As is usual for students, however, I lost track of her after the semester ended."

"Well, then..." Ken said as he pulled his glass closer to him, trying not to reveal his trembling hands. "I guess it's time you found out what happened. As she told me, she spent a few weeks in Gravity Falls after that - she claimed she had received reports or rare and beautiful flowers, and as you said therein lay her passion. In fact, she had grown up believing in the beauty of plant life and wanting to create the greatest crosses ever. She was hanging around the lake one day when she met my father, Tate McGucket. It turned out that his knowledge of everything surrounding the lake gave them a lot to talk about. Eventually he explained how he never opened up to a lot of people because his own father used to be a crackpot and he was afraid of people finding out. It seems that Mother, however, chose to honor Tate's wishes of never meeting him. Owing to the lack of friends on both parts - Mom was an immigrant and her family at the time consisted of no one in America - the two's marriage three years later was incredibly quiet...and, as it turns out, incredibly hasty."

Ken sighed, shaking his head at the images clouding his mind. "I'm a bit hazy about the details of why they divorced, but I do know this - Mom didn't know about what this town held until she stumbled across it when I wasn't even a year old. She just couldn't accept it from what I understand, and so she left, taking me with her to San Francisco."

He closed his eyes, "She started her own flower business which was successful enough that she needed no alimony from my dad. I grew up with little knowledge of where my name of McGucket came from. Being part of the Japanese community, I was mostly shielded from that part of my life. Amongst my cousins, the children of my only aunt, the name of Takigawa was the only one that mattered. Until abou _t six months ago_..."

########################################################################

"Wait..."

While cleaning the living room of their one-story house, Ken noticed something sticking out from under the sofa. He put down the broom and knelt down next to it. Reaching his fingers in, he pulled out a small photo of a man dressed in a brown shirt and khakis, his brunette hair blocking his eyes.

"Ken?"

Ken turned around to see his mother staring distraught at him, her normally neat and short hair looking frizzy. "Ken, what are you doing with that?"

"Sorry...it's just…." Ken gave the photo back to his mom. "You always kept secrets from me about him."

"Secrets? That's a strong claim, my son."

"Well, you tell me of this fantastic town of wonder and mysteries, and it's half of where I come from, but you refuse to let me find out more!"

Yuki turned her back on him, barely controlling her voice. "We agreed never to speak of it again. Gravity Falls is a dangerous place."

"You've said that so many times I'm beginning to wonder if it exists."

She began making tea. "Good. I hoped that by moving here and raising you right, I would allow it to be nothing more than a fable, a ghost in your mind."

After a moment of silence while Ken was dealing with turmoil in his mind, he said something he'd been meaning to for awhile. "No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean I'm not letting you get off that easy. I'm going to Gravity Falls."

"What!?" Yuki slammed the tea kettle on the countertop. "No! Absolutely not!"

Ken was firm. "Look, you've spent my life refusing to show me where I was born, making so ridiculous claims that I can't believe any of what you say. It's time I go back and learned who I am."

"Nonsense!" Yuki was becoming equally nasty at this point. "Who you are is all here in this town, where I gave everything to raise you!"

"How can you possibly know that, Mom!? You never gave me a chance to find out! What, did you have a particular version of what you wanted me to be, is that it?"

Yuki crossed her arms. "I'm not paying for you to find what I've been trying to protect you from for all these years!"

"You don't have to. I've saved up more than enough to get myself bus tickets to go for the summer. Shouldn't have let me start taking part-time jobs two years ago," Ken shot back.

The two stared each other down for a few moments, arms crossed. Finally Yuki responded with, "You're not going to back down on this, are you?" Ken shook his head, at which point Yuki spun around and left the room saying. "Do what you will, then, if you're so desperate. Maybe then you'll actually listen when I tell you to leave well enough alone!"

#####################################################################################

 _Present Day..._

"Wow, that's pretty heavy," Mabel admitted, rubbing the hair of both her twins. "I can't imagine myself getting that mad with my hun-buns over something like that…for better or worse." Her eyes clouded as an unwelcome face, long ago banished from the Pines clan, lingered in her mind.

Gladys reached up. "You OK, Mom?"

Mabel smiled as she felt the sixteen-year-old's hand on her own. "Yes, sweetie, sorry about that. Mommy just needed a second."

"It was the first time I can remember us fighting in years," Ken admitted. "Still, she calmed down quite a bit by the time I actually had to go. I suppose she had decided all she could do was support my decision and wish me luck. So now here I am, ready to meet my father and see what my mom was so scared of." With that he rose to his feet.

Stan was startled "Um, where are you going?"

"Well, I did promise today I'd head for the lake to find my dad. Check out his station by the lake, reconnect with the other half of my family..."

Every adult in the room started looking at each other with a look Ken clearly could interpret: _who wants to tell him?_ "What?"

Oddly enough, it was Stan who eventually spoke up. "Kid, I don't know how to tell you this, but...your dad, Tate...he left a few years ago. Finally couldn't take it. No one's seen or heard from him since."

Ken's face fell in dismay. "Wha-? He's gone? My father just….?"

Ford nodded "I'm sorry, Ken, but it's true."

For awhile everyone was silent. Then Dipper spoke up. "Well, there is still something you need to do."

Ken looked up. "Come again?"

"There is one McGucket left in these parts...and if you're set on being here this summer, his place would be better to call home anyway." With that, Dipper grabbed his keys. "Get your stuff."

#############################################################################

The pickup truck rolled through the woods. Ken sat in the passenger seat watching life move past him as Dipper drove at a decent pace along the path. "So how far is it from the Shack?"

"Well, honestly, it used feel a lot further away. Until the place changed hands when I was thirteen, this path didn't exist for cars. The residents were….exclusive?"

Ken began, "This is the middle of a rural town, for all intents and purposes. How much more exclusive can you - " as the path cleared in front of them to reveal their destination, he changed his tune "...nevermind."

The giant imposing manor that Dipper had seen for many years was a shock to Ken, whose eyes remained wide open in awe. The only thing that had changed since Dipper first saw Northwest Manor was that a certain corner was noticeably modified. Solar panels lined the entire roof in that section, and vines grew very close to the pavement without being too close to the door. In light of this, Ken couldn't help but notice two mailboxes at different parts of the mansion.

Dipper parked the car a bit after the giant fountain and led Ken to the front door. When he rang the front door, it sounded akin to a giant gong. After a few minutes, the door was opened to reveal a blonde face known to all of Gravity Falls, dressed in a simple purple dress. She was surprised as she looked at her guest. "Dipper? Come on in. Wasn't expecting you today."

Dipper grinned as he entered the house, Ken trailing behind him as to stay out of sight. "Same here - in more than one way. First, surprised your butler didn't answer."

Pacifica shut the door as she explained, "Well, he's semi-retired now, so I only use him and some of the other staff for parties. Just one cook, the gardener, and the maid on a regular basis."

"Speaking of parties, any ghosts lately? You seemed to have that problem often in the past."

"No, we've been clear for five years now. Pretty proud of it, actually. But that can't be why you're here, you would've brought Mabel."

Dipper sighed "Yeah...it's not. This is Ken," he said, moving a bit to the side to reveal the teenager.

Ken was almost as shy as he was yesterday when he met the Pines. "Um, hi." He held out his hand.

Pacifica shook it. "Pacifica Northwest, of the Northwest Foundation. Lady of the mansion."

Ken was confused until Dipper spoke up. "Most of it, anyway." He turned to Pacifica. "He's here to see _him_."

Pacifica looked surprised for a moment, then nodded. "Here, I'll take you to him."

As they walked together, Ken became brave remembering what Wendy had told him. "I think I've heard of the Northwest Foundation before. The school I went to in San Francisco had a lot of funding from various organizations."

Pacifica smiled. "Junipero Serra High? I had very specific conditions for how the donations were used, and it seems they were followed if you're benefiting off them."

Ken went in front of her and bowed. "Thank you, madam, for all you have done."

Pacifica held him by the shoulder and pushed him back up. "Hey now, no bowing. It reminds me too much of the past." As they came to a wall, she nodded. "Past this door."

Ken might have guessed without the guidance. The door had a wooden texture to it, the wall was plain and white, and it overall seemed like something deliberately meant to break from the theme of the rest of the house. Bracing himself, Ken stepped forward and turned the handle. The three stepped inside to what might have been a different world.

It was part of the mansion, for sure, but the interior decoration seemed to be a combination of mansion and mad laboratory. Blueprints for various machines were framed along the walls, hazard suits hung in a rack near the door, and boxes of circuit boards and wires could be found on every one of the metal tabletops.

"Woah…." Ken found himself barely able to breathe.

"Well, it's about to get weirder for you," Dipper assured him. "Ready?"

Ken took a deep breath and nodded. Dipper walked to an elevator nearby and flicked a switch before hitting a button. Not only did that button emit a buzzing sound, but the three of them could hear buzzing sounds distinctly through the rest of the house. Soon they heard creaking and whirring, and the elevator slowly opened before them.

A wizened old man rolled out of the elevator in a wheelchair, the motor on it humming as he moved towards Pacifica and Ken. Oddly enough, the man himself seemed equal parts machine as his chair was - his hands being encased in metal gloves that were clearly wired, parts of his arms and legs being supported or even replaced with metal joints and tendons, and strapped to his chest were several wires leading to a heart monitor on his left. But the white beard and missing teeth were still there for Dipper to recognize him by. And as for Ken…..the look in the old man's eyes….somehow he knew before the man even spoke.

"Well, catch me in a rabbit trap and feed me to bears! I ain't ever thought I'd see a face that young again!" He turned to Dipper. "Guess I should stop callin' you a youngster."

Dipper scratched his arm. "Hey, McGucket. Sorry for not visiting you more often. It's been a year, I think..."

"Aw, shucks, don't mention it. I know I ain't been too good with chatting to y'all anyway, what with all the work I had here." He patted his metallic arm. "So who's this new lil' pup?"

"Ken, meet Fiddleford McGucket. We used to call him Old Man McGucket. McGucket, this is Ken…. Ken Takigawa McGucket," Dipper said, standing behind Fiddleford and putting a hand on his shoulder. Dipper waited for McGucket to figure it out, but it seemed he wasn't biting.

"Well, I'll be gosh-darned," Fiddleford said, scratching his head. "I didn't think there'd be someone else with that name….pretty rare, especially with these young 'ooligans."

Ken bent down, mentally bracing himself to drop a verbal bomb on the invalid cyborg of a man. "Well, there's a reason…do you remember a woman named Yuki?"

McGucket drooped. "Ah, I sure was seein' better days then. I remember her getting with my boy Tate for a few years before disappearing….she was a marvelous lady, and I sure wish she had given him a few more licks of common since before leaving…She had a baby, from what I recall..." He squinted and said "Hold yer horses. Ah need to see something."

He reached out with both hands and grasped a started Ken by the shoulders. He pulled him in a little closer while reaching into one of his chair's pockets and pulling out a green pair of spectacles. He held them to his eyes as they dilated his pupils but made the rest of his eyes hard to see. After a long moment, he pulled them away, and Ken could see water welling up in his eyes.

"It's you, isn't it?"

Ken couldn't help but smile despite himself. "Yes, Grandpa Fiddleford. I was that kid. After almost thirteen years, I know it's hard to believe, but..."

He was cut off short as The old man pulled him in for a hug. The two held each other - a man nearing ninety and a teenager still in high school, hugging each other in a mansion's lab. Ken couldn't help but shed a tear or two himself.

Fiddle ford finally spoke. "After Tate done up and left, I thought I'd never see my own blood again. Life never stops surprising me."

"Glad to have you too….Grandpa."

Dipper and Pacifica stood there smiling. "None of us saw this coming," the aristocrat looked at Dipper. "How'd this all happen?"

Dipper shook his head. "I'll explain later. Don't ruin this moment. In some ways, this is how it should've felt when Ford and Stan were reunited."

Ken smiled as a tiny thought emerged in his head - _I know about the family to which I belong. I got a piece of who I am. I'll find the remaining answers soon. Sorry, Mom, but I'm not done here._

 **[Those of you who know me know that I love breaking up my episodes into parts. Well, this part was going to end a little later, but like I said I'm thinking of breaking up my episodes into smaller pieces at times. You'll probably getting a really short chapter within, say, two weeks that'll end where this chapter was originally going to.]**


	6. The Return, Part 2

The four of them sat around the fireplace on the upper floor of Fiddleford's half of the Northwest-McGucket compound. Dipper and Pacifica sipped some tea while Fiddleford chugged a shot of whiskey down. Ken had refrained from drinking anything besides some water - he was underage, and awake enough as is.

"So, Pacifica, this used to be your house, and then is was...yours, Grandpa?" Ken turned to his newly-found grandfather, still getting used to the word on his tongue.

Pacifica put her cup down and sighed. "Yes, then it was mine again for some time while the Pines kids grew up - Fiddleford was away doing some inventing in DC…."

"But then I got tired of that high-falootin life and settled back in here" Old McGucket grinned. "Miss Northwest and I came to an agreement. Half the house apiece - one half for her to live in and have her charity galas, the other for me to go on tinkering with my little projects!" He clicked a button on a remote next to him, causing a metallic dragon head to project from the wall and spray ice onto the fireplace, extinguishing it. He clicked it again and the same dragon began spewing fire into the chimney, reigniting it.

"I told you before, Fiddleford, just call me Pacifica." She smiled and turned to Ken. "The same goes for you. I promised I'd stay humble and keep my family clear of the uppity nature that soiled its name for so long. Besides, you're about the same age as kids who call me their aunt."

Ken nearly choked on his water in surprise. "Phoebe, Gladys and Finn? You're their aunt?"

"Honorary, yes. Mabel's idea." Dipper chimed in. "So, Fiddleford, how about it?"

Fiddleford slapped his knee, some of the electrical components sparking a bit. "Shucks, Dipper, not even a cockatoo would give it a second thought! Of course Ken can stay with me for the summer! I'd love to have my grandson here for as long as I can. Here, I'll find him a room upstairs." Fiddleford started pressing a few buttons as he wheeled himself to the lift.

Ken got up. "Here, let me hel-"

Dipper held an arm in front of him. "Actually, I need to speak with you alone before I go. He'll manage."

Fiddleford nodded consent as he went up. "It's alright, sonny. Meet me once he's done."

Pacifica rose as well. "I should get going. My accountant is meeting with me to discuss the investment portfolio of the foundation." With that she too disappeared, leaving Dipper and Ken alone.

After the two shared a moment of uncomfortable silence, Dipper was the one to break it. "Listen, Ken...I appreciate what you did today for me and my family. You've helped us more than you know."

"No problem." Ken said, cracking a smile. "I look forward to helping out in any way I can until those Parallels leave us alone."

"Well, that's just it." Dipper moved his hand as if to scratch his arm, but tightened it into a fist - his resolve remaining steady. "I need to ask for the Journal Driver back."

Ken's smile disappeared. "Why, is something wrong with it?"

"Well, a few things." Dipper's head bobbed slightly in acknowledgement. "But even afterwards, I'm afraid I can't allow you to use it anymore."

One of Ken's hands hovered defensively above the Driver on his waist. "What? I know I wasn't being honest about my heritage, but I honestly wasn't sure how much I should say before I could -"

"This has nothing to do with you lying about being a McGucket," Dipper firmly stated. "I won't let you get involved in any of this struggle. You have your own reasons for coming here - finding out who you are. You have your own task."

"I can do that just as easily while fighting off this threat."

"No, you can't!" Dipper's eyes suddenly betrayed anger. "And the fact that you think you can shows exactly why you're not to use that device again."

"But you can't - "

Dipper brutally cut him off. "Listen to me carefully. I spent months in my lab making that Driver to make sure it can be used for defense. I am the adult who's studied these woods and knows them inside out. I am not about to let all that effort be wasted by putting the final product in the hands of someone who arrived a day ago and is having identity issues because neither of his parents could handle this place! Now give. It. Here."

Ken stood for a moment, stunned by Dipper's ferocity. It felt like his entire perception of this man as a gentle soul who revolutionized archaeology was being replaced by a fierce being willing to deliver low blows to get what he wants. Slowly, he touched the Journal Driver and clicked the button on the upper left. The belt retracted, allowing him to neatly extend it forward in one hand. Dipper slowly took it and pocketed it somewhere within his vest.

After a second, the two suddenly became aware that they hadn't really been breathing the past few moments. Dipper sighed and faced Ken, the tension relieved a little.

"I know I must have been a bit intense just now, and I'm sorry. But you'll eventually see that this is for your own good. And feel free to visit the Shack anytime you like - the twins and Phoebe seem to have really warmed up to you. You can even learn about the other investigations we have going on - more than enough to help you understand why your mother probably left. But from now on, you are to no longer ask about the fight against the Parallels. Alright?" He extended his hand.

Ken raised his arm and shook Dipper's hand in assent, but Dipper noticed something. Ken's arm felt like dead weight, his hand was without grip - he was going through the motions, clearly still disheartened by what had happened. _He'll get over it_ , Dipper said to himself. _He has to_.

"I'd better get back. Good luck moving in." Dipper left the room in search of a way down and an exit. Ken looked at him for a moment, thinking about how much things had changed since arriving here. It felt like a huge chunk of that had just left the mansion. Eventually he sighed, straightened up and looked for a way upstairs to join his grandfather in his new room.

 **[AN: This is initially where I thought I'd end the last section]**

 **########################################################################################################################**

"YYYYESS! Wow, I can't believe Ken's gonna be our neighbor for the summer!" Gladys was practically bouncing around in the Mystery Shack waiting for her uncle to come home.

"That's a bit of an exaggeration, isn't it?" Finn looked up from his position at the cash register. "The mansion's quite some distance away..."

"...so? Never stopped Aunt Paci from visiting us every week."

Finn shook his head. "She's Aunt Paci, of course she would. Besides, don't get ahead of yourself. Even if Ken comes to visit, he'll be busy as a Rider."

"Now you're getting ahead of yourself." Phoebe came in from the kitchen. "I'm willing to bet each of you that when Dad gets back, he'll have the belt and not Ken with him. Besides, I'm with Finn; he's got a family to be with now, he should be with him."

Gladys gave a sigh of frustration akin to what her mother might have when younger. "Of course you'd say that. Look, it's Old Man McGucket! It'll be like one hour a day and then doing whatever else he wanted to do while here!"

Finn crumpled up a piece of paper marked _Legally Obligated Returns_ and threw it into the trashcan. "Well, he did seem interested enough in the woods that we could show him around. If Mom will even let us after that Parallel attack. Wait, where is she?"

Phoebe pointed back. "Oh, I just left her, Mom, Uncle Soos, and the Gregrunkles in the kitchen. Hard to believe it's already half an hour until closing time and they haven't moved since morning."

Finn looked at the ledger. "Well, at least we made a few sales without them."

Phoebe held up fingers in anticipation of air quotes. "Well, they claim they have 'more important' things to worry about..."

A few rooms over, Mabel and Soos were chatting while the Gregrunkles and Wendy sat next to each other in silence. Mabel slid over some sheets to Soos. "What do you think of this? Pretty snazzy, right?"

Soos looked at them smiled. "Alright, dawg, this looks exactly like one of 'em! If Dipper can code it, this'll look great!"

Mabel looked up at Soos and asked straight "Soos, I need to know; are Kamen Riders real, or by 'legend has it' did you mean you saw them on TV?"

Wendy looked up with a cocked eyebrow but said nothing as Soos squirmed. "Well, I um...did see them on TV, but...they HAVE to be real, right? Are they any crazier than anything we see in these woods!"

Stan raised his empty glass in frustration. "Of course it is! Bunch of hooligans running around in armor playing hero against all these threats! All united under one banner! It's nothing but..."

"...a pretty good explanation." Ford cut in. Everyone looked at him as he took out some papers from his jacket and threw them onto the table.

Wendy picked up the first page and skimmed it before looking at Ford with a half-bemused, half-exasperated look "You realize, Grunkle Ford, that the only other person in this house able to read most of your work isn't home yet?"

"Oh right...well, long story short, there's all sorts of paranormal activity in Japan. The signatures are similar yet unique in their own ways. All over the years, and fixing themselves? They would be consistent with Kamen Rider activity. Meaning that Soos may know more about these than I do."

"Oh, Mr. Pines, for sure I'll help. Tell you guys everything you want to know. But we should wait until the new Kamen Rider gets back, no? Learn about his heritage."

The door creaked open. "I don't think that'll be necessary." Everyone turned to see Dipper had returned, looking somewhat serious. Nevertheless, he calmly walked to Mabel asking, "So, did you make your design plans?"

Mabel handed her the papers. "Sure thing, bro-bro! What are your thoughts?"

Dipper flipped through them. "Well, huh, I actually like them. Alright, I got some other kinks to work out and then implement these design changes. But I'm cutting down on the glitter!"

"Aw! It's not even yours to modify!"

"Actually, it will be."

Every other adult collectively said "What?"

Dipper grabbed the papers and left without turning around. "You heard me. Ken using the belt was a one-time thing. Now that we know it works with no damage to DNA, I modify this thing for my use." With that, he retreated into the break room where he and Wendy slept.

Wendy banged her head on the desk. "Whelp, we're in trouble. He only works in there when he's trying to stick to his guns."

Ford and Stan looked at each other before turning to her. "Well, you've tried talking to him a lot of times. Maybe we should let someone else have a try…."

 **#######################################################################################################**

Ken sat on the bed in his room of the manor and looked outside. The room itself was elegant, for sure - plenty of drawer space, a four-poster king-sized bed, and overall more room and luxury than he ever had growing up in San Francisco. And yet none of it made him happy. How could it, when he had been so coldly rejected by his idol? His clothes half-unpacked and thrown haphazardly into drawers, he wondered what to do now to occupy his time. Without even his original mission of finding his father to look forward to, it was hard to say.

"Master Ken."

"Ack!" he jumped up into standing position. "What is this?"

"Relax, sir," the voice responded as Ken realized it was part of the room itself. "I am Saxon, the AI butler for this building. As you know, Madam Pacifica only has one semi-retired butler. For the past few years, then, I've been programmed by Fiddleford to help facilitate living in his side of the manor."

"Just his side?"

"He offered the same to Lady Pacifica, sir, but she declined to have that kind of technology in such a conventional home - no matter how modern she may be in method, as she put it. At any rate, I have been asked to tell you that your grandfather would like you downstairs for dinner."

Ken got up saying "I'm on my way."

He went downstairs to find a magnificent table with covered plates in front of two seats. One of the seats disappeared as Fiddleford rolled up in his chair. "Ya sure as all heck must be starving, kiddo! C'mere and have a bite with me!"

Ken sat down and put a hand on McGucket's shoulder. "Thanks, Grandpa. I gotta admit, I could eat. Not even sure I had lunch, come to think of it."

The metallic voice of Saxon piped up in the dining hall. "Sensors indicate your metabolism is low, suggesting you have not. They also indicate you have not washed your hands." As a drawer popped out of the table with a squirt bottle, Saxon continued "It is advised you use this."

"Wow, thanks Saxon!" Ken exclaimed as he took the bottle, squirted some of the gel on his hands and rubbed vigorously until dry. "You seem alright."

Fiddleford smiled. "Ah just love when someone else recognizes the glory that is that sane voice for the house of such an insane man. Now, den, ah reckon it's time to see what dey done cooked up for me!" With that, he and Ken uncovered their plates to reveal bowls of stew. "OOOO-WEE! Roadkill Stew!"

Ken paled. "Um, did you just say roadkill?"

"Fear not, Master Ken," Saxon chimed in. "This is not actually roadkill. This is a mixture of primarily avian and synthetic meats designed to mimic the flavor of common roadkill such as rabbits, possums, and squirrels."

Ken nervously brought some to his mouth and closed down. A grin spread over his face as he suddenly ate much more rapidly, enjoying every bite. "Wow, this is great!"

Ford twiddled his thumbs as his chair fed him. "Ahm glad you like it, feller, but, uhm...Dipper told me about the last day, but I wanted to hear it from your side..."

Ken slowed down eating. "OK. Well, you see..."

###################################################################

Dipper tapped a few more keys on his laptop, sighing with relief as he looked at the results. "OK, no more technical issues." As he unplugged the driver, he opened his toolbox and pulled out a screwdriver. "Now for the mechanics and aesthetics."

As he began tightening a few bolts, however, he heard the door open. With a heavy sigh, he said, "We've been through this, Wendy, I don;t think there's anything more to discuss."

"Guess again, kid." Upon hearing the gruff voice, Dipper turned around to see his two Grunkles with their arms crossed but their eyes betraying genuine concern.

He just shrugged and turned back around to his work. "Hey, Grunkle Stan. Hey, Grunkle Ford. Sorry, I wasn't expecting you two, but the point still stands. I'm not letting either of you use the Driver."

Stan cut in. "Look, I'm not saying I won't throw down with a Parallel if I have to. Or two, or three. But I'm not here to say that I should use it, and neither is Poindexter. You know what we both think, and there's no point denying it."

Dipper gave a sort of half-grunt. "Ken? You two are still on that front? Listen, I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm not letting an outsider get involved."

Ford butted in. "Dipper, I was the one who taught you that science requires accepting the impossible and having an open mind to what could be out there. It's amazing that you come so far and yet forget the basics."

"It's because I'm a scientist that I believe I'm better equipped to deal with this than he is. It's better for everyone involved that whoever becomes a Kamen Rider knows Gravity Falls and all the creatures that live here - how else can they use this to the fullest?"

Ford shook his head. "That can always be learned, be experienced! But what really matters, what makes a good hero, a good warrior - Ken has more than enough of that to spare."

Stan nodded. "Judging by the story you two told upon returning home this morning, I'd say the same."

Dipper put down the screwdriver and took out a piece of paper, tracing an image onto it with a pencil. "He was good for one or two fights, at the very least to adjust this device. But once I've calibrated it, you'll see."

Ford cleared his throat. "I've actually been meaning to bring that up too, Dipper. When we were working on the original, we didn't get to stabilize it to nearly the level you were able to. Don't tell me you…."

Dipper nodded. "Remember how you taught me magic that one time? I was able to use it to help correct some of its anomalies that technology alone couldn't fix."

 **[AN: ShadowWolfe's "A Duet of Shadow and Flame" is NOT part of my canon, but I did borrow the idea of Dipper knowing a minor amount of magic for my own universe. I'll only use that plot device a few times, but I figured it was a nice one. Go check out ShadowWolfe if you have time.]**

Ford sighed and closed his eyes. "Dipper, we both know that comes with a price. The minute you used it, it no may decide to only bind to certain people! Combine that with the fact that someone else has already used it, and the chances of you being able to are much slimmer."

"I haven't forgotten, but the fact that I cast the magic might counteract it. Besides, it's a risk I have to take."

Ford sighed and walked back, nodding to Stan. Your turn.

Stan stepped forward a slight bit, just so Dipper could see him in his periphery. "You're really sure about this, eh, kid? Taking on the weird all by yourself, just using all the weirdness you'd seen before?"

Dipper found himself really getting frustrated but somehow managed to keep from exploding. "I don't think there's literally anything you can say that Wendy, Mabel, or Ford haven't."

"There is one thing, actually, about the kid...you don't see who Ken is, do you?"

Dipper leaned up from his work for a second. "Wendy did say he's got a bit of my nervousness..."

Stan shook his head. "That's not the only thing he has from you. I'm going to ask you a question, and I don't want an answer. Just something for you to chew on."

"What is it?"

"After you saved Mabel from the gnomes all those years ago - right after the first time you realized that what lay in the woods could be dangerous - say I had found out then and there about the journal. If I had told you to stay away from all that, can you honestly tell me you would have listened?"

Dipper's hands stopped working. Stan turned around. "Just think it over, kid." He and Ford left the room. Dipper took a second longer before getting back to work, trying desperately to ignore the itching sensation on the back of his wrist.

 **#################################################################################**

 _The following morning, NorthWest-McGucket compound…_..

Ken woke up with an alarm clock next to him reading 7:30 AM. Glad that his grandfather had given him such equipment to help him better settle in, he rolled out of bed and began searching through the clothes now hung in the closet. Finding a set and walking towards the shower, living in such luxury almost made him forget what adventure had happened yesterday before coming to an abrupt halt with his arrival here. Almost.

As he stepped out of the shower, he heard the calm voice of the house call to him. "Good morning, Master Ken. Your grandfather would like to see you in the garage once you are finished with breakfast."

 _Oh yeah, Saxon._ Ken still found that surprising, although less so than what he actually said. "The garage?" Ken felt his appetite disappear. "Suddenly I feel like eating can wait."

"I thought you might say that, sir. Just stop by the kitchen and I'll give you the portable version."

Sure enough, when Ken reached the kitchen he found a tortilla wrapped up in tinfoil. Upon taking a bite, he grinned. "A breakfast burrito. Thanks, Saxon."

As he munched on it, he went to the garage, wondering what exactly his grandfather had found so urgent. Finally he found the lift to take him down to it on the ground floor.

What he saw amazed him. Fiddleford wiped his hands off as he stepped back from his work. The metallic arms on his chair pointed to it with a triumphant gesture. "Whaddaaya think, Ken?"

In the middle of the garage stood a teal motorbike with a curious figurehead above where the headlights were. Anyone who lived in Gravity Falls would have recognized the green eyes, long snout, and sharp fangs, but at the very least Ken could guess it was supposed to be some sort of serpent.

"Behold, the Gobblerider!" Fiddleford triumphantly shouted. "Fast, powerful engine, with twin blasters on the side and quite a few features in the head. Ah figured if you were gonna be going to and from the Mystery Shack every day, you could at least go wid a bid of McGucket wid ya!"

Ken went to the boke and stroked the seat. "It's beautiful. But Grandpa Fiddleford...why the weapons?"

"Well" McGucket rolled up to be closer to his kin. "After hearin yer story about te Parallels, ah figurd ya could use all da help ah could give."

"But Dipper banned me from fighting. He took the belt back, I told you this."

"Ken," Fiddleford put his hand on the shoulders of the boy. "Weer McGuckets. We live in Gravity Falls. Trouble will find you if it will. When it does, you have as much a right as anyone to fight back. Besides," Fiddleford grinned slightly. "I know where yer heart is. Part of me thinks you'll go lookin for trouble. Consider this my approval."

Ken looked down, as if thinking, before staring at the motorbike. "I've ridden a motorbike before, but I don't know how to use all the extra features."

Fiddleford slapped his back playfully. "Ah, shucks, not aworry! Ah worked hard to make it easy-to-learn. It's intooa-wahee..."

"Intuitive?"

"Ya, dat's it! Besides," Fiddleford smiled. "I see a bit of me in you. You'll catch on quick. Now go make me proud."

Ken leaned in and hugged the old man. "Thanks, Grandpa!" With that, he grabbed the matching teal helmet near the bike before climbing on. Helmet secure on his head, he revved the bike as the door opened.

"Alright, Gobblerider, let's see what you got!" With a mighty VROOM, he roared out of the house and towards the woods, wondering what would meet him at the Mystery Shack.

 **##############################################################################**

Dipper's arm was itching furiously as he looked at his polished creation, but he ignored it with all of his resolve. He picked up the Journal Driver and stuffed it into his vest pocket with the flashdrives - _Chapters_ , he had to remind himself, _They're Chapters now_. He turned around to see his family looking back at him. Before he opened his mouth, Wendy spoke with sincerity.

"It's alright, doofus. We tried talking you out of it last night, but it's clear that you're set to go on this path. Just be careful."

Mabel chiemed in, "Yeah! You were sorta right after all - you do know the most about that gizmo! I'm sure you can get em, bro-bro!"

Dipper sighed with relief. "Thanks, guys. This means a lot. Leave it to me."

Ford adjusted his glasses. "Bringing your magnet gun just in case, I hope?"

Dipper nodded as he adjusted his vest to show the weapon tucked into a holster.

Stan grinned. "Alright, kid, one last question. Thought of a name? Hate to disappoint Soos."

"I did, actually," Dipper said with a mischievous smirk. "Thanks to you."

The grin was wiped right off Stan's face. "Huh?"

"You kept on talking about how I'll be doing some pretty weird stuff to protect this town. Eventually I decided to any outsider this does look weird. So, Kamen Rider Weird seemed like a good choice."

Wendy smiled. "Dork. Alright, Weird, show these parallels what we're made of!"

Dipper walked out the door of the Mystery Shack and towards the old portal, ready for the confrontation. _In just a few short moments_ , he thought to himself, _this fight begins for real…._


	7. The Return, Part 3

Dipper stepped into the clearing for the second time in two days, with the sun in almost the exact same position as last time. As he looked at the empty space in front of him, he called out "Parallels? Giving up?"

He wasn't even sure why he asked. As soon as he finished speaking, a portal of white light opened in front of him just long enough to deposit a squadron of masked Parallels - including a leader wrapped in a red uniform wearing a blue mask instead of the usual brown. "You think one fight is enough to scare us away? More foolhardy still that you come alone. We've been preparing for you!"

"So have I," Dipper replied, pulling out the Journal Driver for all to see. As his foes took a step backwards, he thought to himself _Good. They're afraid of it_.

Their leader wasn't, though, as he merely laughed. "What? No boy to do your fighting for you this time? Oh how will you manage?"

Dipper lowered the Driver to his waist, the gold strap ejecting from the side and looping around his body to form the belt. "I'm not letting you hurt him or anyone else. _I'm_ taking you down!"

With that, he clicked a Chapter open, which unlike last time made a sound effect akin to a lightsaber being turned on. He turned the faceplate to reveal the insertion slot. He confidently pushed the chapter in as he heard the machine respond to the input.

"N-nn-ne …. NNew ch-ch-ch" Dipper looked down with concern as the Driver began glitching out, not articulating the words he had programmed.

"What - ?"

BZZZZ Suddenly electricity began coursing through his body, and with a minor BOOM he was thrown off his feet. The Driver detached from him and rolled a bit before he grabbed it. He found that it was smoking yet still intact, meaning only one thing - _Dear God no, Grunkle Ford was right…_

The commander laughed. "Your only hope is gone now!"

Dipper stowed the Driver back into his pocket and pulled out his magnet gun. "I'm not giving up, even without it! I'm more than a piece of tech!" Remembering the day he learned that he was more than a boy with a journal, he charged in and started firing like mad.

#######################################################################################

VROOM….BZZZZZZZ...PPBBBT!

Ken pulled up in front of the Mystery Shack in his new ride, undid the strap on his helmet and stepped off the bike. "Anyone home?"

"Ken!" Soos dashed up forward, having just opened the Shack for the business day. "Good to see you again, dawg!"

"Hey, Soos. Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, it's alright, come on in."

Ken came in to find Wendy lounging on a chair while Mabel was knitting in a corner. Everything seemed normal at first - Mabel was even enthusiastic with her "Hey, Ken! I knew you'd be back," and Wendy was chill with her own greeting of "Morning, Ken." But underneath it all Ken could sense some sort of...tension.

Ken frowned as he surveyed the room and came to a realization. "Hey, where's Dipper?"

Stan grumbled from the kitchen. "Ah, him? Three guesses, kid, first two don't count."

Ken sighed. "By his own orders, I'm not allowed to say what I'm guessing."

Wendy couldn't help but crack a small smile for a second. "Oh come on, dude, there's no way he meant that literally!"

"Maybe," Ken assented. "But the point is, it's out of my hands." With that, he sighed and turned to go find someone closer to his age.

"Wait, kid." Stan turned to the others. "I think you should know this..."

Mabel looked up. "Grunkle Stan, are you sure?"

Wendy's face looked far more serious as she looked her sister-in-law in the eyes. "I'm with him on this one. I didn't want Dipper to do what he did, and I'm willing to prove it here."

"What? Who?" Ken was confused as the room suddenly became far more solemn yet energized.

"Kid," Stan began. "The truth is, the _only_ one who wanted to take the Driver from you was Dipper. And I don't mean just as in he was the only one who wanted to wear it. I mean, _everyone_ else in this family felt you were the right choice."

Ken was taken aback. "That much dissent and he still did….but why?"

"Duh! There's only one reason the dum-dum would ever go against family!" Mabel poked Ken in the head as she got up. "To protect others!"

"He did it...to protect me?" Ken didn't know how to feel about it as he slumped back into a chair.

Wendy sighed, shaking his head. "He...does that. It's not a bad thing, really. I love how he always goes the extra mile to keep people safe, but...it's like he forgets that he's not the only one in the world who wants to, can, or should bear all of that."

Mabel nodded. "My bro-bro once told me that we, as Twins, could handle anything that comes our way. But this is one time he has to do it on his own...and honestly, I'm not sure he should."

For a minute they were all silent. Then suddenly Finn dashed into the room. "Mom, remember when you said to let us know if we hear anything today?"

"Yes, hun-bun, what is it?"

"Well, we heard a giant explosion some way off..."

Mabel, Stan and Wendy all bolted outside as they looked at where Finn was pointing. "Isn't that the direction of Hunting Accident Creek?"

Suddenly they hear a large string of TSEWs.

Wendy was concerned. "That's laser fire. Oh, no. Oh, no no… that must mean the Driver failed and he's using the Magnet gun!"

Stan growled. "C'mon, kid, you can do it..."

Ken felt his soul being torn. For a minute he just sat where he was, trying not to get involved. But then he saw flashes in front of him from yesterday...Dipper's leg being broken...Wendy and Ford being swallowed by the crowd...and as those memories gathered in his brain he was unaware that his hand had curled up into a fist.

Suddenly something snapped. The others heard a mighty BANG and jumped as they turned around; they saw Ken slam his fist on the table before getting up, a new conviction in his eyes as he dashed outside to his bike and picked up the helmet.

"Wait, hold on, where are you going?" Wendy asked.

Ken secured it on his head while replying. "To help someone in need."

Mabel gasped. "Without the Driver? Hey, think this through!"

As he got back on his bike and revved it up, Ken turned back around. "You think he's the only one who can't stand around as someone else is getting hurt? I'm not doing this for the Driver - I'm doing this for me." With that and a mighty VROOM, the Gobblerider raced into the woods.

Stan crossed his arms and couldn't help but crack a small smile. "Some things are inevitable."

#########################################################################################################

Dipper felt nothing but anger at himself as he fired his magnet gun and threw an occasional punch. Seeing Parallel troopers fall one by one was not enough to quell the inner storm.

 _WHY?!_ He thought as with a TSEW he caused another to fall. _Why is fate forcing this? Making me trust an outsider! Trusting me with his life! I can't do it!_

As another wave of foes got closer to him, he aimed his gun and pulled the trigger...which clicked to no effect. "Oh, no." Dipper panicked as the red leader picked him up and kicked him back on the ground.

"Poor fool. You really thought you could do it, didn't you?"

Dipper rolled several yards before stopping and facing his enemies, fully aware that they now had him all but pinned to a corner.

"We have watched, Dipper Pines, as you have taken on deed after deed. There's a reason that we chose your home as our starting point. Yes, his Majesty wanted your great uncle to suffer, but more importantly we knew you would try offering the staunchest resistance...but refuse to let anyone help you do it." The commander raised his arm, causing the men behind him to gather into firing squad formation. "At the end of the day, you're just a man. Yet you're among the few who could help stop us, and when we kill you, that will be gone forever."

Dipper closed his eyes, looking for all the world as if he was getting ready to meet his maker. Actually, he was blocking out the speech of his enemies and trying to find a way out. _No more magnet gun pulses, but there has to be something….come on…_

And then he heard the last sound he expected to hear; a low buzzing sound. He opened his eyes in shock as he saw the Parallels look equally confused. _Some sort of buzzsaw?_ Dipper wondered. _No, it's too rhythmic..._

A second later, he got his answer.

VROOM! An aqua motorbike came roaring out of the woods and soared above his head. For only a brief second was he able to see past the visor of the rider's helmet, but that was all he needed to register the Asian face and black bangs that hid behind it. It's him…

"Morning, Parallels! Meet my new friend!" Ken pressed a button on the Gobblerider's neck, causing the serpentlike head to extend and bite down on the hip of the nearest opponent - the unlucky commanding officer.

"What the - Augh!" the fellow screamed as he was thrown into a tree trunk and knocked unconscious.

"Like him?" Ken called out as he squeezed two more buttons right below the handbrakes. As he performed a sharp turn, a small metal cylinder appeared on each side of the handle and started shooting lasers. With its own TSEW! TSEW! Sounds, it soon left several troopers down and the rest scattered in temporary confusion.

Dipper watched in amazement. The second time this week that Ken had saved his life. _The only question is,_ Dipper thought as he squeezed the Chapter in his hand, _should it be the last? Well, I thought I answered it the first time too, but…_

Ken screeched to a halt right in front of him before pulling his helmet. "Huh, serpent head and lasers on my first try, this really is intuitive."

Dipper tried for appearance's sake to be angry, but hearing himself, it probably came out more as confused. "I told you to stay out of this, and you still come in here...and where did you even get a bike?"

Ken got off his bike and spoke gently but with authority that seemed uncharacteristic of him - more fitting of a man years above his age. "Grandpa McGucket reminded me of something you seem to have forgotten. These woods are teeming with trouble whether you look for it or not."

"Doesn't mean..." Dipper rose to his feet. "...that I can't at least try and filter the worst of it out of your way."

"That's exactly what it means." Ken looked at him seriously. "...especially when I'm not one to sit around when others need help."

Dipper looked at him in awe as Ken turned his attention to the surrounding glade. "Gravity Falls...I may have no connection to this place...not yet anyway. But my family used to call it home, and my Grandpa still does. So do a lot of other people, not just the Pines. So I'm not about to sit around when this place is threatened. Especially since your grunkle Ford made it clear that the rest of the world would follow if they won." With that he faced his enemies, fists raised.

Dipper looked at him, feeling the determination flowing off of the boy. When he had woken up that morning, the archaeologist had never felt surer of his decision to brave the Parallels alone. But now, he found the same degree of certainty in a completely different course. He told Ken, "You sure you want to do this to yourself?"

"I won't rest knowing I did anything else."

Dipper simply replied with enthusiasm "Then CATCH!" and threw the Journal Driver. Ken turned just in time to deftly catch it in one hand while the other caught the Chapter Dipper also threw. He looked at it and noticed that the flash drive now had the number 00 in it, as well as two white ovals he assumed were supposed to represent the bug eyes of the mask.

Dipper explained, "We decided to name them Chapters and I made some aesthetic changes, but other than that it's the same system from yesterday. Show them what you're made of, Kamen Rider Weird!"

"Alright then," Ken turned to his rallied foes before snapping the Journal Driver back onto his waist, feeling the strap go around his body and become a tight belt again, and clicking the button on the Chapter.

 **[AN: Suggested Music:** **Gravity Falls Theme Song** **【** **EXTENDED Rock Version** **】** **Song by NateWantstoBattle** **]**

The metal contact tip was unsheathed as the indicator light on the Chapter turned green with a satisfying PING. As he inserted it into his Driver, the Driver began the chant:

"NEW CHAPTER!"

Ken's hands went high above his head before he rolled them into fists and slowly brought them down in front of his face. As he stood in the position feeling all the world like a boxer ready to throw down, the Driver continued "WHO IS. THE STUDY TODAY?" in an upbeat rhythm. At that moment for an unexplainable reason, he knew the word he had to shout - the same word that many a warrior had taken as their war cry. He crossed his hands and opened them to the fingers were on either side of the faceplate, taking a deep breath before proudly yelling it out:

"Henshin!"

The second he spun the plate and it _click_ ed, a giant brown page grew out of nothingness and hid him from view. An outline of the suit of armor he wore yesterday was sketched onto it before it began moving back towards him. As it made contact with him, the page began stretching and warping around him...before shattering into pieces as the hero emerged from underneath.

"GO WEIRD! I'm a Kamen Rider for the uncommon writer!" The belt exclaimed.

The brown lower layer of his armor being complimented by the faded-yellow of the shoulder pads and other external layers - a shade of yellow mimicked by the journal pages - while the black bug eyes on the mask really brought the suit together.

With that he held his fingers out on one hand while grasping the wrist with the other. "Your chapter ends here." As he held his hand out, his driver yelled "QUILL SABER!" and the plume-hilt cutlass appeared in his hand. With that he charged.

TSEW! CHING! TSEW TSEW! CHING!

Multiple shots were fired, but Weird deflected all of them before arriving and slicing at his foes. At first engaging only one at a time - a punch there, a stab here, a sudden one-eighty and confront a completely different enemy with a sidekick followed by three stabs - he suddenly had an idea. He jumped to back up a bit and dodged incoming laser fire with a mid-air spin. Landing a few feet away from them, he yelled "Here I come!" and started running. This time, however, he sidestepped and ran such that his foes were on either side of him, and by swinging left and right as he ran without losing speed, they all suffered.

"Ken!" Dipper called out. "The middle of the Driver is a button! Push it in!"

Ken complied, yet was still surprised when the Driver yelled. "FINAL NOTE!" He felt the power charge up in his sword and began moving it in a circle in front of him, forming a glowing copper orb of energy.

"WEIRD! CRITICAL STRIKE!"

Ken slashed at the orb, which was launched straight into the mass of enemies. With a giant BOOM, they were thrown dead to the ground around the field.

Ken took a second to breathe it all in before turning to see the Parallel Commander safe, having just regained consciousness to what must have been a shocking sight.

"What? My soldiers!"

"You'll see them soon enough!" Ke dragged his blade in the dirt for dramatic effect.

But the commander merely grinned and replied, "I think not. We have more than that to throw at you. Watch and despair!"

With that, his body glowed and began to change. Arms started ripping out of his tunic, and even his preexisting arms began to grow to gargantuan lengths. The fingers fused and the color changed to green. The mask shattered to reveal a mess of flesh that one could only assume was supposed to be a face - which somehow made it more horrifying. The commander had become some sort of tentacle monster in front of Dipper and Kamen Rider Weird's eyes.

"Take this!" the foe began snapping tentacles at Ken. CRACK! CRACK!

Ken rolled out of the way of one and started slashing at another, but the hide was too tough to cut through - the most he could do is buffet the arms out of the way with the flat. Suddenly, however, a tentacle came from the right just barely in his sight. He moved to successfully block it, but directly afterwards another tenta vle came straight from behind and firmly wrapped itself around the Quill Saber. The Kamen Rider tugged with all his might to try and recover it before the tentacle lifted it out of his hands.

"Later!" the monster said as it threw the saber with that tentacle and knocked Ken down with another. There wasn't enough time to react before a third one knocked him a full ten feet further away.

"OK, this isn't working," Ken groaned as he got up. "I need to try something else."

Dipper suddenly spoke up. "Then it's time for Plan B! Catch!" With that, he threw the second flashdrive. Ken caught it and took a look - it was identical in shape and color to the first one, but now it said 01 and had an icon on it looking like a face with a beard and triangular hat - even as the rest was missing for simplicity's sake.

"What's this?"

"The true power of the Journal Driver. You fight for this forest - and now it fights for you. Starting with this!" Dipper climbed up into a tree for his own safety. "Show him what that can do!"

Ken did not need to be told twice. After clicking the new Chapter, causing it to unsheathe and PING as the indicator light turned green, he turned the Driver faceplate and removed Chapter 00 - not even taking time to notice the Quill Saber disintegrating before immediately putting Chapter 01 in.

"NEW CHAPTER! WHO IS. THE STUDY TODAY?"

"Here goes." At the last minute, however, Ken decided to add his own phrase to the mix. "Next page!" With that, he once again spun the faceplate into lock position. As a new yellow-brown page appeared and blocked him from view, he saw the outline of the body get drawn on it. For a minute he was confused, as it seemed to be the same as his current outfit except drawn in five different parts of the page at once.

"GNOME! JEFF, CARSON, STEVE, JASON, SCHMEEEBUUULOOOOCK!"

As the page tore apart to reveal the new Kamen Rider Weird form, Ken was confused. The form seemed to have no new weapons or unusual body mass. Maybe he felt a bit looser, but other than that he had just had a palette swap - red mask and overarmor with blue underneath. "What is this?"

Dipper calmly replied. "If you can't figure it out, just wait for survival instincts to kick." As he looked at the monster again, he remarked, "Yup, that'll do it."

"What'll - ?" Ken turned around to see his answer - a tentacle already ready to hit him again. "Augh!"

Looking back, he would always be sure that he tried ducking the projectile. For whatever reason, his subconscious had a better idea. He suddenly felt a flash of energy, and then it felt like his head separated from the rest of his body and flew up in the air. As his line of sight brought him back to the ground, he realized that that was exactly what had happened - sort of. He looked at himself - small hands and miniature feet - and realize that he was now a miniature twenty-one-inch tall version of the Rider he had transformed into. Turning around, he saw the rest of his body get enveloped in light for half a second before turning into four more of the miniature new Rider.

Dipper called out, "Think of what you want them to do and they'll do it!"

Sure enough, Ken felt his consciousness split into other parts and awaken in each of the other bodies. Such and experience should have been disconcerting, yet somehow it seemed completely normal. In that moment he was sure that the expert was right - these five were really one.

He charged forward, and the others did as well. Each began running through the field of tentacles, using their short statue to leap, duck, and slide through the thick wall of appendages. Soon the five of them were each at the base of their tentacle, with a clear weak spot to cut.

 _Please, something good_ , Ken thought as all five of them held out their arms to the side. "ACRON KNIFE!" the Driver called out as each one suddenly found themselves grasping an acorn-shaped tool with a very sharp tip. Together they began using their new weapons to cut the tentacles away. They began to fall, one by one, as each gnome-sized hero succeeded and scurried back to safety.

"I still have three tentacles left!" called the Parallel commander. "Plan on doing the same thing twice?"

All five of his opponents shook their heads. "This ends now!" With that, they formed a single dogpile which - after another half-second glow of light energy - reformed into the single teenage Rider who pressed the center button of his Driver back down.

"FINAL NOTE!"

His body suddenly went on autopilot. He crouched down and gathered energy into his leg muscles before using one foot to push himself far higher in the sky than should have been possible - at least twelve feet. Then he felt his body split back into five mini-Kens, each of which pushed on each other with hands and feet and separated to give them a nice range in the sky. All of them stretched a single foot out on front of them as if to aim a kick at the beast below.

"GNOME! CRITICAL STRIKE!"

The lowest two gnome Riders rocketed towards the monster, their feet making contact in a high-powered kick apiece. Two more immediately followed, all four of them now causing sparks to fly off the Parallel's body. The fifth one soon also propelled straight into a prolonged kick, which they all broke to push off the monster and gain a few feet of air again. They reformed into a single Kamen Rider, who flipped in midair before rocketing straight back into the monster with his own high-powered kick. This time, after a second it sent him straight through as his enemy burst into flames and exploded.

"NOOOO!" The parallel screamed, despair at having failed his mission and meeting such an end.

Ken stood up from where he landed and looked back before saying "Never mess with these Falls."

After a moment of silence, he walked to where Dipper was still hanging off a tree. Looking up at first with the black bug eyes of the Rider mask, he slowly rotated the faceplate of the Driver and pulled Chapter 01 out. As the armor turned into white light before shattering off him, the machine gave a simple "To be continued." Where the Kamen Rider once stood, the Asian teenager now looked up at his idol, wondering if he should feel pride, shame, or fear.

"How'd I do?" he nervously asked, his voice barely carrying.

Despite his best efforts, Dipper could see the worry in his eyes. He was reminded of what Wendy had told him two days ago; _he's like you before we met_. Sure, he was more mature and even a bit more enthusiastic, but the archaeologist knew the truth; underneath it all was someone who was worried about doing something wrong.

It was a good thing today was not a day where that fear had come true.

Ken felt relieved as he saw Dipper give a small smile. "You did good, Ken. I might be able to get used to you doing this hero work."

Ken smiled as he went to get the Gobblerider. Driving his motorbike under the branch, he looked up. "Want a ride back to the Shack?"

Dipper nodded and expertly dropped off the branch onto the seat right behind Ken. Ken looked apologetically to Dipper as he said, "Sorry, I don't have a guest helmet yet."

Dipper didn't laugh, but he did crack a small joke, "Welcome to Gravity Falls, Oregon, where that will always be the least of our worries."

Ken revved the bike back up. "Ain't that the truth."

#############################################################################################

"EEE! YOU DID IT!"

The two hadn't even gotten off the bike before Mabel ran off the Shack patio, up the Ken and started squeezing him tightly. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Thanks for protecting my dumb bro-bro!"

Ken sheepishly grinned. "Um, you're welcome, I guess."

Stan clapped him on the back. "This kid's got real moxie, I knew it! Quite a catch we got this summer when you landed on our roof."

Ken decided to join the fun with a huff of mock annoyance. "Please don't refer to me like I'm a fish you pulled out of the lake."

Meanwhile, Wendy went to the back and lightly pecked her husband on the cheek. "Hey, doofus. Enjoyed the show?"

Dipper smiled. "What, gloating already? You guys win, OK? But I will admit, seeing what he had to fight, I might be glad to let him do the work, since he's up for it." He held his wife's hand as he reflected, "At least this way I won't be spending as much time in the field, too."

"No more so than usual, doing those field studies," Wendy ribbed him playfully.

"Actually," Ford replied, coming out of nowhere to stand next to Dipper and Wendy. "We'll want to include him in that aspect sometimes, too. Help him learn a bit about this place. First things first, though, I assume he has Fiddleford's permission? Guardian consent and all that?"

Dipper simply pointed to the Gobblewonker figurehead on the bike. "Yeah, I think he does."

##################################################################################

3\. The machine hissed back to reveal the passageway.

Dipper guided Ken down the steps to the elevator. As the two got in it and Dipper hit a button marked "-3", he commented, "Most people who see the Mystery Shack don't see how it could be a base of operations….that's because they've never seen this."

The doors slid open to reveal a bunch of electrical equipment that looked like it was from the space age, along with a computer that had several blank flash drives next to it. Ken barely had time to say "Woah" before Dipper ushered him to the next room.

"This is my favorite part," he noted as he opened the door. "Ford mentioned how this used to be home to a dimensional portal. When we dismantled it, it left a lot of room for field studies."

Half the room seemed to be a giant gym, the other half a biological and chemical lab with enough equipment to make any Ivy League graduate school seethe with jealousy. Ken noted that almost every piece of equipment had a monitor reading "Select species. Default: Human."

"You do all your studies here?" Ken was amazed. "You sure have reason to be proud of it."

"From now on, so do you." Dipper smiled. "Every once in a while we may ask you to come down to here, or the tech room you just saw, to work on projects that'll help you understand the Falls."

"There must be a lot to do." Ken whistled.

"Well, maybe...if you were starting from scratch." Dipper gestured him back up the steps and out the vending machine to a hidden panel in the wall. Dipper rotated a loose plank, and the wall slid back to reveal a three-by-three array of brown books with gold, six-fingered hands on them. Each one had a number in black paint on it - from One to Nine. Ken's eyes widened as he understood the cornucopia of knowledge he was now looking at.

"Behold, the Journals!" Dipper picked off Journal One and gave it to Ken, hands shaking. "I know you have things to do while here, but if you're gonna be a Rider, well….I figured...you should know as much as you...obviously you don't have to spend all the time reading this...or know every page by heart, but..."

Ken couldn't help but give a small smile this time. "You've never had a student before, huh?"

Dipper couldn't help but nod. "I haven't, no."

Ken nodded. "I'll do my best to get this read."

Dipper held out his hand. "Welcome aboard, Ken. And I, um, hope you don't hold what I said yesterday against me."

Ken shook it. "Trust me, I get it. But you're willing to go forward with what you probably view as a risk - " Dipper winced "- and it mean a lot. Thanks, Mr. Pines."

"Oh, yeah" Dipper said, laughing. "Go by first names in this house, or things will get confusing. Practically everyone here is a Pines, after all. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go get what we need to close the portal tonight. Now that it's a rift to the Parallel dimension, we need to shut it down."

With that, he headed back down the staircase behind the vending machine. Ken stood there for awhile before heading back to the front counter.

"WHOP!"

A sixteen-year-old brunette popped up from the counter and used two fingers to rapidly push Ken's forehead back. The surprise factor, however, sent him toppling onto the floor.

"Gladys!? What - ?" Suddenly a similar boy popped up from behind him and hoisted him up. "Finn? Where were you hiding?"

"Trade secret," he chuckled. "So, we heard the news. Looks like you'll be spending a lot of time down here."

Ken couldn't help but chuckle along with him - the twin energy was contagious. "Seems that way. Guess I'll be seeing quite a bit of you guys."

"YAY!" Gladys threw confetti in the air from Lord knows where. "A new friend!"

As Ken turned to the archway between the gift shop and the rest of the house to see a young redhead looking back. His smile disappeared upon seeing her face. It was unreadable; the closest Ken could figure to what she was feeling was….disappointment? Sadness? No...

Whatever it was, Phoebe finally spoke only a simple few words. "Good luck, I guess."

Ken could really only reply, "Thanks," before she left, her boots clomping as she went upstairs. Ken turned to the twins. "Something I did wrong?"

Gladys shook her head. "Nah, silly! She just was surprised you were here again! She told us yesterday she doubted you'd be back." As she grinned, however, Ken wondered if he could believe that.

Suddenly, however, the second Mister Mystery walked in and hugged Ken. "HEy dawg, thansk for saving my Pterodactyl Bro!"

Ken replied in mock exasperation, "Anyone else who wants to thank me?"

Soos put him down. "Sorry, dood, but I got something more for you! Gladys, the package!"

Gladys started looking around. "Oh it's um….where did I put it...I know it's here somewhere..."

Finn shook his head playfully as he went to a shelf and pulled it out. "Here you go, sis. We have got to work on that."

"Whoops! Silly me!" The two together gave it to Ken. As he opened and unfolded, Soos explained,

"So for a few months we sold some adventure clothes here, as an experimental venture. They didn't sell well, so we stopped, but I still had this left and wanted to give it as a welcome gift. Now it's also a thank-you gift."

Ken pulled it out and couldn't help but say "Oh, wow." He held in front of him a thin jacket, black on the outside but a deep shade of blue on the inside. The zipper seemed to freely invert so he could zip it inside-out and outside-in.

Soos spoke with a hint of pride as he said, "Yeah, dawg, it's nice and thin so you can wear it without blistering in summer heat. Good for rain, too, on either side! Try it on!"

Ken pulled it over his brown t-shirt, black side facing outwards. Looking at himself in the mirror, he had to admit - it was pretty stylish on him. "Thanks….Soos, right?"

"That's the name!" With that he tipped his hat and added. "By the way, how much do you know about Kamen Riders? Best to know your heritage, after all! I can teach you!"

"That'd be great!" Ken grinned.

"Well, try to wrap up your first lesson about thirty minutes before sundown so we have time to close the portal," Dipper said as he climbed back out of the vending machine.

Ken suddenly had an idea. "Hey, um...do you and Ford have a way to pass a message onto the Parallels through the portal before I seal it?"

Dipper looked surprised, rubbing his beard. "Should be doable, but...why?"

"I want to do something..give them one last chance...and if not, a formal declaration of war."

##############################################################################################

Sunset came, and unlike the past few days the entire Pines clan was there - Soos, Melody, the kids, and all the adventure-hardened adults. Ford stood closest to Ken, right where the portal had become a single pane of blue energy, as Ken tied a piece of metal around his neck.

"This holo-projector," Ford said, brandishing the metal orb before putting it down. "will enable you to show what you want as long as you wear that chain. When you're done, throw this flash bomb - " at which point he plopped one in Ken's hand, who put it down at his feet. " - at the portal. We'll get a brief light show, then this gap closes. You'll have to get used to it - we'll be doing this fifty times before this war ends. Ready?"

Ken nodded. "Parallels! If you can hear me, come forth!"

The portal suddenly gave forth to a vision of a squadron of fifty Parallel Trooper, each with lances raised. In the middle stood a figure with the same green reptilian skin, but richer clothes and a crown.

Ken smirked. "King Kraus, I presume? Wish I could say it was an honor."

Kraus hissed while somehow giving a menacing grin. "Well, I expected your town to be mine by now. But you've made it clear that we won't win through this portal, so I'm ordering it to be destroyed. Having the same idea over there?"

"Yes, but I'm glad you're here. Besides having an honorable audience with his Majesty - " Ken made sure the sarcasm dripped, "- I wanted to make sure my words weren't lost in translation."

Dipper and Wendy looked at each other in amazement. It seemed that when it came to talking to enemies, Ken had none of the anxiety or fear he had when talking to either of them.

"Your words?" Kraus sneered. "Did I finally take my hated nemesis Ford out of the picture?"

Ken replied, "He's fine! He's just one of the many here to see this, and the one who set this all up. But what I wanted to say to you was my idea alone."

"Which is?"

Ken held up a finger. "One last chance. Close all the rifts and leave our world alone. We'll work to improve things so you no longer feel repercussions, but give up this plan of yours to just kill us all."

Kraus jeered. "You humans have always been slow to action and reckless with the consequences. And now you expect a change of heart? Never!"

Ken bowed his head down, while the rest of his body remained straight. "Thought you might say that." Flicking his Driver's new Sound switch to Silent, he added, "You know what this means?"

"Better than you boy! We have used the past half century well, and our army is more than powerful enough to take your world for ourselves! And who do you think you are to stop us!?" With that, Kraus began to laugh maniacally, and it wasn't until he calmed down again that Ken spoke.

 **[AN: Before I reveal the music for this, I will disclose: This is totally inspired by Doctor Who: The Eleventh Hour, and attempts to be a sort of due service to the actual Kamen Rider lore while still having gravity Falls feel to it. Let me know how that goes.**

 **Now then… "** **Gravity Falls OST Stan's Finale". Pay attention to the timestamps and let me know if I timed it right.** **]**

Ken's voice was low and firm. "So you'll come another day, with another squad of men, ready to lay waste to what you see. You'll think yourself so superior that you'll be convinced of victory, that no one on planet Earth can stop you." After a pause, he looked up. "Do you really think you are the first to say that?"

 **[0:23]**

The hologram projector whirred to life, blocking sight of Ken and showing various species of aliens. The Inves dropping from Zipper pockets in the sky. Gamma appearing from giant floating eyes...

"So many have come to this world...to conquer it, destroy it, terraform it, exploit it…each time it looked like the end..."

...Roidmudes running rampant, Bugsters springing from diseased humans….

 **[0:40]**

"But where they were, so were the Kamen Riders."

 **[0:42]**

The screen began rapidly flashing the signature poses of the Heisei Riders in order. _Kuuga, Agito, Ryuki, Faiz, Blade, Hibiki, Kabuto…_

Ken flipped Chapter 00 open. "They didn't hesitate to brave the nightmares for the world they loved, and neither will I..."

 _...Den-O, Kiva, Decade, W, OOO, Fourze…_

"So when you ask who I am, I only have one answer..."

 _...Wizard, Gaim, Drive, Ghost, Ex-Aid, Build…_

 **[0:57]**

Ken stepped through the hologram as it shut off, in full Rider armor.

"Ken Takigawa McGucket, Kamen Rider Weird."

Everyone watching, Pines and Parallel alike, got a chill in their spine as he said it and picked up the portal-closing flashbang.

"So if it's a war you want..." he pulled the pin. "I'll make sure you regret getting one."

 **[1:09]**

As he threw the bomb and a flash of light enveloped all, most shielded their eyes, but only Stan stared straight into it. Reminded of another time he stood in front of a brightly lit and dangerous portal, he said now what he said then:

"Here we go."


	8. Workplace Environment, Part 1

At 7:59 AM in the McGucket half of the Split Mansion, all was quiet. But at 8:00 AM, a certain wing suddenly was ablaze with music.

 **[AN: Hall and Oates "You Make my Dreams", please.]**

Ken bolted up, confused at first, but immediately smiled. "Morning Saxon. Looks like you synced with my playlist?"

"Yes, Master Ken," the house AI responded. "Would you like it turned off?"

Ken shook his head. "No, just lower the volume." He found himself snapping to the beat as he got ready for the day.

 _What I want, you got, and it might be hard to handle…_

With a snap of his fingers, the closet door opened. He grabbed a set of clothing and his towel to head off for a shower. As he washed up, he thought about how much his life had changed. Before he had come, he had expected to meet his father, who might not be pleased to see him given the split between him and his mother, in which case he'd be living out of a tent in the woods and finding a job to buy what cheap convenience store food he could for the summer. Now, however, he was living in luxury with a relative who was happy to see him.

As he dressed in front of a mirror, he couldn't help but comment aloud on something following the same thread. "Hey, Saxon, look at this." He was in his brown shirt and blue jeans. "Before meeting the Pines family..." Whipping on the double-sided jacket Soos gave him, black side out, he finished. "and after."

"Very good, sir, but I think you are missing a piece."

"What, this?" With that, he pulled the Journal Driver out of his jacket pocket and whipped it onto his waist, the belt immediately lopping around and securing itself on the other side.

"Now, then, I suggest this time you sit down and have breakfast here. Your grandfather is waiting to eat with you."

"I'm on my way."

Sure enough, in five minutes he was chomping down an egg scramble opposite of the mad inventor himself, who was having his chair feed him his toast with th retractable arms.

"Ah sure am glad to see the bounce in your jiggity step," Fiddleford laughed. "Looks like you done beat the varmint outta yer old worries."

"Pretty much," Ken said. "I mean, I now have a tougher job ahead of me on paper, dealing with the Parallels. But somehow I'm excited on top of it all."

"Ah find that's how it done be whensoever ya get tangled up in Falls advinturs." Fiddleford said as Ken got up and moved to his side of the table. "Ah suppose der's no use me wasting my words on telling ya to be careful."

Ken hugged him goodbye while grinning. "No, there probably isn't. I'll try to be back by dinner."

"Ah shucks, stay out as long as ya need! You a Gitdang superhero now!" Fiddleford beamed a half-teethed smile as Ken left.

"I sure am, Grandpa...I sure am…"

 **############################################################################################**

VROOM!

As Ken drove the Gobblerider to 'work', he couldn't help but open his visor. Feeling the wind on his face as he rode, breathing in the woodland air - it all felt right. He had chosen a good place to call home for a few months...even if in reality the choice was less his and more a consequence of the actions of a man he never got to know.

As he hit a bump that gave him some impressive air on the bike, he couldn't help but give a gleeful "WHOOIEEEE!" It didn't matter how he ended up here - not in this sense anyway. What mattered is that it felt right. He would find his answers soon enough, but for now he could just enjoy being a Kamen Rider, a McGucket...and a friend to a certain family.

He screeched to a halt and took off his helmet, smiling broadly as he looked at the Mystery Shack. He dashed in and knocked on the front door, whose sign still said "Closed".

Soos opened the door in a Mister Mystery suit and launched into his, "Sorry, doods, but they Mystery Shack is not open until - " only to catch himself upon realizing who he was looking at. "Oh, hey Ken! Sup dawg?"

Ken chuckled. "Not much Soos, just here for Day One."

Soos nodded. "Remind me to see about getting you a key to the side door. Anyway, come on in!"

Ken walked into the gift shop to see Melody behind the counter and Finn restocking shelves. Melody grinned, "Good morning, Ken. You look ready to start the day."

"Same to you! Although, does Gladys have the day off or….?"

Finn laughed. "Nah, we sometimes have different roles. For example, today she's doing her specialty - Exhibit Development."

"Oh, so stuff like -?"

The two of them suddenly heard a large CRUNCH before Gladys came out holding mechanical remains of some sort. "That should do it! Now to put these in the display case." With that she slid the pieces in the display case with the label "Missing Millionaire Hiker, Western Hills, 2031."

Ken looked at Gladys, "Did you just - ?"

"Yup! Gregrunkle Stan loved your idea and put me to work improving it!" Gladys pointed at the gold paint job on the faceplate. "See this? We decided to make it look like it belonged to some undocumented rich guy who came here to celebrate his new fortune, so we made it all gold!"

Ken smiled. "Glad I could be of help. Although..." Ken looked at the wristwatch closely from behind the case. "...is this a Casio?"

Gladys nodded. "Yeeup! Gotta keep cost low!"

Ken raised a hand in acknowledgment. "All fine and well, but...why would a rich guy buy a Casio? OW!" Suddenly he felt a hand smack his shoulder hard but amiably. As he turned around to see a second Mister Mystery, he couldn't help but smirk. "Hey, Stan."

"Don't worry about selling, kid, leave the storytelling to me and Soos! It's all about the showmanship. Meanwhile, haven't you spent enough time up here in my business? Go work on your own before we open up shop!"

"Got it!" Ken went to the vending machine door and punched in A-B-1-C-3 and quickly rushed down the staircase, slamming the door behind him. He reached the elevator and pressed the button labeled -3, ready to focus on one particular member of the Pines clan.

As Ken got out of the elevator, he immediately saw the man he was looking for sitting in front of the desk at the other end of the room. His brown hair had clearly been rummaged through a few times, what with all the random strands sticking up and his cap laying on the table surface. He was typing furiously on a computer into which he had plugged in a black flashdrive identical to the two Chapters in Ken's pocket. As he hit enter, he leaned back and said to no one in particular "Done."

The teenage boy decided to speak up. "So, now can I come in?"

"Waugh!" Dipper jumped as he turned around in his rotating chair to face Ken. "Sorry, I just...you are really quiet, you know that?"

Ken shrugged. "Didn't know it was a big , I -"

Dipper interrupted. "No, it's just...I mean...it's good to have you here, really."

The two shared an uncomfortable laugh before Ken remarked, "You and I really need to be more comfortable with each other. We'll be working on a lot together, I imagine, and we can't keep over-apologizing like this."

"You do have a point." Dipper looked at the time. "Oh, the Mystery Shack already opened up?"

"Just now. Wait, you didn't know that? How long have you been down here?"

"About an hour, that means, but it feels like less."

"Time flies when you're having fun, I guess."

"I don't know if I'd call this having fun." Dipper ejected the flashdrive from the computer. It glowed for a second before revealing the white text on its shell. Now it had a 02 emblazoned on it as well as a symbol of a familiar serpent head.

"You just made a new Chapter!?" Ken enthusiastically inquired.

"Yeah," Dipper smiled, extending it to him. "Pretty boring process, huh? Just a guy typing away on any old machine for awhile."

"But with incredible results!" Ken smiled as he held Chapter 02 in his hands. Then he frowned. "Wait, why does this look so familiar?"

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "You saw this figure literally today."

Ken suddenly panicked. "Yeah, that's my bike! What did you do to the Gobblerider!?" He turned and would have dashed upstairs and outside without a care in the world for secrecy. Thankfully, Dipper grabbed his shirt collar just in time.

"Easy there! There are better ways of seeing what's going on up there." With that, he turned back to the mainframe computer and started typing. Soon a live feed popped up on screen. Ken recognized it as where he had parked his motorcycle, but with one key difference - a recognizable old man and redhead woman were taking tools at certain parts of it. Ford drilled a small LED monitor between the handlebars, while Wendy unclipped the wires from the keyhole before removing the plate entirely.

Ken's rage and panic simmered down, mostly as it was replaced with confusion. "What are you doing? Trying to make a duplicate key? Hotwiring it?"

"The spiritual opposite, I'd say," Ford answered. "Both of those are meant to allow other people to access your vehicle. We're trying to make sure you and only you can access it." With that, he handed a new round metal plate to Wendy, but with a USB port as opposed to the keyhole of the old one.

"Not to mention," Wendy remarked as she reattached the wires. "Making this the official Kamen Rider motorcycle. Dipper, did you give it to him yet?"

"Just now, yeah, that's why he panicked. Guess I owe you ten bucks when I get up," Dipper grinned.

"Pay for the next pizza night and we're square."

"Done. Anyway, Ken, here's the deal," he said, taking the Chapter away for a second. "This one doesn't go in your driver like the others. This time, you can activate the Chapter to call the bike to you, then turn it in the new keyhole for ignition as usual. Being wired into the Rider system has other benefits, though - enhanced speed by a bit, extra durability and firepower, that sort of thing. Also, Ford just installed GPS and comms into the console. It should help you coordinate with us while working."

"Wow..." Ken said, taking the Chapter back. "I mean, I'm still slightly mad about you doing this without asking, but..."

"Hold up, hold up..." Dipper pulled out his phone and checked his messages before flashing one conversation in front of Ken. "I texted Fiddleford last night and he said he'd tell you."

"He didn't tell me anything."

Dipper groaned. "OK, new rule, before you head out today, I'm getting your number and contacting you directly from now on. In fact, give me your phone."

Ken handed it over for Dipper to then take out an aux cord and connect it to his computer. After typing a few buttons, he unplugged it and gave it back. "There we go, I have your number and gave you top-of-the-line firewalls. Now, then..." he said, pulling out a list. "I made a set of activities that I could use our help on that will also allow you to get a better feel of the lie of the land."

"First time a list has actually come in handy," Wendy joked.

"Oh, haha." Dipper smiled good-naturedly as he terminated the camera feed. "Come on, I'll walk you up."

As they reached the vending machine, Dipper held Ken back. "So, since it's business hours, we do this." He pushed a button twice before explaining, "This is our signal - causing the light in the machine to falter for a bit. Now we just wait for Melody to give the signal..."

"Clear!" They heard her say from the other side of the room.

Dipper opened the door. "Thanks."

Melody nodded. "So, heading out?"

Ken took the list from Dipper and replied. "Just me. I'll be back soon."

Dipper remarked, "The Gobblerider might not be the best option since we just finished the modifications."

"Good, I could use the walk anyway."

As he left, the boy didn't notice that a certain family member and Shack employee had appeared since he went down into the lab. The young redheaded girl dressed in flannel couldn't help but look at the scene with some discomfort. When the Rider was out of the house, only then did she venture to say, "Dad?"

Dipper turned around. "Oh hey, kiddo. You OK?"

Phoebe nodded. "Yeah, dad, I was wondering if I should go check on the Klein Sprouts today, and - "

Dipper paled. "Oh, um, sorry Phoebe, I gave that to Ken to do today….maybe next time...I didn't mean to -"

Phoebe reassured him. "Oh no, it's fine, Dad, no worries."

Dipper smiled weakly and said, "OK, well….I should...get back to work...see you at lunch..." with that he disappeared into the vending machine again.

Unfortunately for Phoebe, a certain cousin was behind her and saw what her father did not - he scratching her arms behind her back. Finn piped up after Dipper had left, just out of earshot of everyone else. "So how bad is it that you had to lie to Uncle Dipper about it?"

Phoebe turned around in shock. "How did you-?"

"Your tell? Also, if you had any hope of hiding it, that just killed it."

Phoebe closed her eyes and sighed. "Why couldn't I get Mom's cool-under-fire attitude?"

Finn knowingly said, "I'll even do one better. The scratching amplified when he mentioned Ken. It's about him, isn't it? Jealous?"

"I am not!" Phoebe hotly replied. "I just think he'll do it wrong."

Finn thoughtfully suggested, "Well, he may have told Ken to do it, but no one said he couldn't have a supervisor. Maybe watch him from a vantage point? We all know you have your ways."

Phoebe blanched at the suggestion. She rapidly tried making excuses, "Well, I have two hours left on my shift and - "

"Please, Soos took people out on tour, I can cover for two if anyone else comes."

"Well, I mean - "

Finn grinned slyly as he played his trump card. "Gladys is in the next room. It's either this or I call her here."

Phoebe moaned, knowing when she was beaten. Finn was gentle when it came to cheering her up, but his twin was something else entirely. Her gushing love was perfect for some situations, but this was not one of them. She'd be so loud that everyone would know of Phoebe's internal conflict, and the hugs didn't exactly sway in her favor here. The redhead knew when she was beaten. She slapped her male cousin once on the shoulder as a reluctant form of thanks before heading out.

 **######################################################################################################**

"Alright," Ken said, looking up from the list. "This must be the Klein sprouts."

A patch of disorganized weeds in assorted colors stood before him, each spraying their own cologne into the air - ready for immediate bottling and use, even as resale would probably be illegal.

"Right, let's see here" Ken said, wafting the nearest scent to him. Unfortunately, his nose was too close to all of them.

From a nearby tree, Phoebe sat and watched, saying to herself. "Good luck trying to keep track of which is which with that."

However, Ken reached into his pant pocket and pulled out a small plastic vial. Opening it up, he held it over one plant, studied the color of the liquid that went inside, and then poured it onto the ground. "OK, so that's one lavender plant…."

"Huh," Phoebe thought. "Well, at least he won't keep track, he didn't have time to grab a..."

She didn't even finish before seeing Ken pull a small notepad from his jacket pocket and a pen, creating a small tally table for himself.

Phoebe bit her lip to keep from shouting. _Did that guy just have it on him at all time?_

 **#########################################################**

Ken stood at a fork in the road, looking either way and seeming lost for all the world. Meanwhile, Phoebe stood just under cover of the trees. She smiled wickedly as she thought Good luck getting this right the first time.

Ken thought aloud about where he'd gone since. "Left right, left left left, right, right left right….ok, another right." and so he confidently strode forward.

 _Does this guy have photographic memory or something?_ Phoebe punched a tree in frustration - which turned out to be a bad call as an entire branch's worth of leaves fell on her at one, apparently having already gotten loose and just sitting in a pile up there.

 **################################################################################**

Ken stood in front of a giant wooden foot who's leg seemed to go upwards towards infinity. Also in front of him was a giant wooden set of bush clippers. Ken looked up and asked, "So you use this for nails?"

The entire forest seemed to moan a yes in response.

One of the bushes nearby shook slightly with anticipation. The thirteen-year-old girl hidden within was filled with anticipation: _Good luck getting that cut right_. One wrong move and Ken would be assaulted with whatever the giant Steve had to throw. _Ah, he'll be fine, he's a Kamen Rider._

Phoebe didn't expect that fact to come into play as soon as it did.

Ken shook his head and said, "I have a better idea," before lowering a hand to his Driver. Phoebe wondered if he would transform, only for the Driver to yell out "Quill Saber!" and deposit the blade into the untransformed boy's hands. With a few smart slashes the big toenail was perfectly trimmed, and the others were short work too. Steve bellowed his thanks before wandering off. Ken smiled and also left, saying, "Anytime, sir!"

Phoebe waited until he was out of earshot before furiously tearing up her foliage cover and thrusting it onto the ground. She started saying aloud, "He can- he can call on weapons out of armor? For nail clipping? Cheats!"

She kicked the dirt near her and noticed a puddle not far off, her reflection shining in the pool. As she looked at the girl who stared back at her, she found herself at a loss for words. Not so much about what she had seen today, but more about how she reacted to them. This face of anger, of frustration at someone rather than a mysterious phenomenon...she was literally NEVER like this. Why here, why now, why with this person?

Was it jealousy? No, that didn't seem right. Fear? Maybe, but fear of what? The more she thought, the more uncertainty and questions louded her head.

The only thing that she left that lake certain of was that despite not having stepped in any poison ivy or other irritants that Gravity Falls could hold, she was now very itchy indeed.


	9. Workplace Environment, Part 2

**Anyone who's read my Wendip Week stories (which are in the same continuity as this) know that besides building the universe out of what others have written, I owe a lot of my ideas to a certain fanfic writer who's never been shy about reviewing. I won't say his name here, but he'll see his influence stamped all over a particular scene. I had no good bridge in emotional development before he suggested it, so thanks to him. The downside being, this is going to have to be a three-parter as usual; really wanted to make it two for you guys since I'll be going to law school soon and not able to write nearly as much. A pity, too, since I've fallen in love with writing this series and find it far more intuitive than Power Rangers Dimensions was. Anyway, rights to Disney and Toei, etc etc, read and review please, and hope you enjoy.**

 **######################################################################**

Ken walked along the path while running his finger down the list. "OK, seems like that's everything except...oh man."

Phoebe remained close enough to hear Ken but not close enough to see the list herself. She was not having a good day so far, and from the sound of things it looked like the newbie was having the greatest case of beginner's luck imaginable. Her eyes narrowed while looking at him, but she could distinctly tell that it was a deliberate effort on her part. _Maybe it's suspicion that's guiding me, but that doesn't seem right either…_.

She stopped upon hearing a phone loudly buzz. Her hand instinctively clapped her pocket, concerned that it was hers. Thankfully, the delayed ringtone was an Mariachi version of "Eye of the Tiger".

 **[AN: Yes, the one from Rayman Legends]**

Ken gave it a fews seconds before picking it up. "Hey, Dipper….yeah, I just gotta get the Organo-Gold from Echo Cave."

Phoebe suddenly felt more alert upon hearing the name of a spot very familiar to her.

Unbeknownst to her, Dipper was saying on the other end. "Good, we need it if we plan on getting you the rest of your arsenal."

Ken was caught off-guard. "We can't make more Chapters without it?"

"The metal in that is one of the few that can store and transfer the coding language needed for bio-programming, which is basically what a lot of the Journal Driver tech is based on. I only need like a sample vial for the rest of my work - it'll be more than enough, actually - but it's still crucial."

Ken ran a hand through his hair. "Heavy. Don't worry, I'll get it for us before -."

Dipper interrupted. "No, don't go just yet. Head back to the Shack. We're having lunch soon and Soos wants you in."

Ken frowned. "Soos? Odd for me to hear from him."

"Not really," his mentor explained. "since Soos and Melody do all the cooking. I think today's Taco Tuesday. Get it while it's hot."

"Tacos, huh? I'll be right there." Ken hung up and started walking the way back.

Phoebe, however, remained glued to her spot for a moment. They needed something - something that would literally define their ability to defend against the Parallel threat she had heard so much about. And Ken was about to go back...maybe…

Phoebe checked the pocket of her flannel shirt and found the carrying case with her tools - a scalpel, a syringe, and a few sample vials. She took one look at the direction of the Shack, then turned away from it and headed for rockier terrain.

"Sorry, Uncle Soos," she said to no one in particular. "Your tacos are still the best, but this is something I HAVE to do..."

 **#######################################################################################**

"Hey, I'm back!" Ken called out as he entered the Shack.

"Hey, dood, just in time!" Soos replied as he turned the stove to 'simmer'. "The meat will be done soon, meanwhile go ahead and build the rest of your taco."

Lettuce, tomato, cheese and jalapenos were sitting next to tortillas on another counter. Ken put it all together. "Thanks, Soos!" Ken replied before getting to work. Soon he had assembled a perfectly good taco, and after Soos put the meat on it for him he had to resist the urge to dig in. After all, what would he be if he didn't wait for the family to show up?

They eventually all filed in, Dipper coming up from the lab and Ford from the garage to be the last ones to show. With one major exception.

"Man, I can't wait for some good grub!" Stan rubbed his hands.

"Says the guy who buys can of vaguely-labeled meat," Wendy joked.

"Hey, that's where good ol' skill compensates" Stan remarked as he nodded to Soos.

"Thanks, Mr. Pines. Just doing my best," Soos warmly replied.

"Hang on - " Gladys said as she started counting heads. "Anyone seen Fee-Fee?" Within seconds she shrugged it off. "I'll just make hers for her so it's ready..."

Everyone else, however, started looking around. Mabel couldn't help but notice that Finn looked a bit different from the others as he checked - as if he had a genuine reason to be somewhat more concerned.

With that in mind, Mabel had no qualms about reminding everyone, "Didn't Finn have the wok shift with her?"

Finn tried his best to look nonchalant. "Yeah..."

Dipper looked at him. "Finn….where's your cousin?"

Finn shuffled his feet a bit. "Well, um… she...went on a walk in the woods."

Some of the room immediately relaxed. For example, Stan huffed in a mocking tone. "Oh, come on! She takes a bit too much after a certain ex-cashier."

Wendy looked undisturbed as she snarkily answered "Looks like I taught her well, then."

"Hang on," Dipper read the guilty look on Finn's face perfectly. "There's nothing shameful about that….what are you hiding?"

Finn looked at his uncle for a second before sighing and spilling the rest of the beans. "She felt a little off emotionally after you told her you gave all the forest tasks to Ken. She wasn't even sure what exactly she was dealing with, so I suggested she follow him." Finn looked guiltily at Ken. "Sorry for not telling you this?"

Ken was a bit too dumbfounded by the revelation to speak. Someone else, however, wasn't - she was just upset.

"Broooo! Why didn't you TELL me she was feeling like that?" Gladys whined. "I could have helped her out!"

"I actually told her, one or the other. Guess what she chose," Finn replied. "You really need to know, sis, hugs can't solve everything."

Dipper, meanwhile, was slightly lost in thought. "She was upset...and she didn't tell me? And she instead chose to...oh man.." He sat down and buried his face in his hands.

Finn awkwardly patted his back. "It's OK, Uncle Dipper. I guess she couldn't talk to anyone until she had figured it out for herself. This isn't your fault."

"No. It's mine."

Finn turned around to see Ken with a fist balled up on the countertop. He began, "What are you talking about? I just said she couldn't - "

"I know, but I should've noticed!" Ken practically shouted his response. Finn recoiled a bit, causing Ken to relax and apologize. "Sorry. It's just...even yesterday after I came back from the fight in the woods, when everyone was congratulating me...she didn't talk much, she seemed like she was just trying to get out of there. I should've noticed I was doing something wrong, apologized to her."

"For what? Making sure her Dad survived an encounter he could not win on his own? Phhbt!" Mabel was predictably still cheerful. "You did nothing wrong. It's fine! Fee-Fee will return."

Soos shifted uncomfortably as he turned the stove completely off. "No offense, Hambone, but...I'm not trying to sing my own praises, but she loves my cooking just as much as the rest of you. If it's bothering her that much that she stayed away even from that..."

Ken shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Are we sure she was even following me? I saw no one."

Wendy spoke up. "That's actually the least surprising part of all this. I taught her everything she knows about staying hidden."

Ken remained still for a second before saying "Right," and straightening himself up.

Dipper looked up. "We're thinking the same thing, huh?"

Ken nodded. "Let's assume she was in earshot. She would've heard our conversation over the phone. She knew I had one thing left to do, and if she's not here, that can mean she's already gone herself to the place."

"Echo Cave," Dipper nodded.

Before Ken could go, however, Gladys yelled. "WAIT!"

Ken turned to see her dash to the cabinets and take out two pieces of Tupperware - one brown, another red. She transferred Phoebe's and Ken's taco plates to them and wrapped them in a bag. "Hers," she said indicating the red one. "Yours," she finished as the brown on went on top.

Finn got up and tossed his sister a backpack, who promptly loaded the food and tossed it to a surprised Ken. Gladys explained, "Give her the food. Work things out. Bring her home."

Ken was all business as he nodded and ran outside.

 **######################################################################################################################**

Phoebe scrolled through her contacts on her phone as she walked to her destination.

"No, not Dad, not Mom, not Gregrunkle Ford, not Gregrunkle Stan, not Aunt Maymay….come on..."

She was by no means as lonely as her father had been in junior high school - she had a few friends - but none of them were really confidantes. Meanwhile, everyone she would normally confide in was in the Mystery Shack; it didn't exactly make for private conversations or secret-keeping.

Suddenly she stopped on one contact. "Yeah...that could work..." they didn't live with everyone else...but they did technically live with him. Still, she'd have to risk it and assume they nevertheless didn't spend time together. And so she hit the Call button.

After a few rings a familiar voice picked up. "Hello? Phoebe, is this you?"

Phoebe exhaled and relaxed a bit. "Yeah, Aunt Paci. It's me."

Pacifica Northwest's happiness and welcoming attitude shone through her words. "Hey, Phoebe? How's my third honorary niece?" She chuckled. "I'm not as good at stringing concepts like that together as your Aunt Mabel is."

Phoebe couldn't help but give the tiniest laugh. "Maybe you shouldn't try so hard to do it, then."

Pacifica smiled. "I need this after the last shindig-ball-soiree organization meeting. I assume your family will be going? Need to order the outfits soon."

"When have we ever not? Most of our clothes from last year still fit, so don't get them if you don't feel like it. Although, don't tell Mom I told you this, but can you please get her some flats this time? She's not a fan of high heels."

Pacifica snorted. "Fifteen years I've invited her to events and she still hasn't told me. Honestly, part of me keeps giving me those just to get her to admit that she doesn't like them. Maybe nudge her in the right direction?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'll try."

"Great. And by the way, can you ask Soos or Ford to measure Ken for a suit? I'd ask his grandfather, but after that stunt he pulled with the Cypher table I don't trust him to not turn it into a James Bond spy suit with twenty gadgets."

Unfortunately for the philanthropist, the carefree atmosphere had melted upon mentioning Ken's name. It showed as the Pines lifelessly replied. "Um, sure, I'll tell them."

Pacifica sensed the shift in tone. "Is something wrong?"

Phoebe replied, "He's actually why I called you. I need some advice"

"What, on Ken? I don't know a whole lot about him, I'd ask someone else at the Shack or -"

"No, no, that's just it. I'm having problems with Ken, and I need some advice from someone more neutral. You're actually the perfect person to ask, because it relates to...well, your past."

Pacifica's own voice became tense. "You don't mean - ?"

"Yeah, I do. Listen, Dad told me how you used to hate his guts, Aunt Maymay's even more so."

Pacifica sighed. "My darker era, yeah."

Phoebe decided now that she had dealt with the harsh reveal like ripping off a bandaid, she could slow down and be more delicate. "Did you ever feel, in all that hatred...confusion?"

For a while the other end was silent. Then, she heard simply, "Well, that's good news for you. You're already ahead of the game."

Phoebe was taken aback. "What, what? What do you mean by - I mean, how can that be good?"

"How long have you got?"

Phoebe took a second to look around. She was somewhat close to the cave of her objective, but not quite there yet. "A few minutes at least."

"OK, so here's what you need to understand. When you truly hate someone, like absolutely can't stand them, you don't feel anything but hatred. The last thing you feel is the need to understand what you are feeling or why you feel that way - the hate just kind of consumes all that. For a long time, especially after Dipper shoved those papers exposing the Northwest family origins into my hands, that was all I felt for the 'self-proclaimed Mystery Twins'." She said the last part in a freakishly accurate imitation of her ten-year-old self before continuing normally.

"I think it wasn't until after the Pines gave me a car ride home from the midnight mini-golf contest that I did some thinking. That level of niceness...it was too hard to ignore, and it made me finally confront the question of why I really hated them. I went through all the possible reasons - they were poorer than me, they were smarter than me, they had a better family - and as I said them out loud, I couldn't help but realize how stupid they all sounded. I didn't come fully around until Dipper helped me find the good side of myself, but eventually I had to accept that my ill feeling was based on nothing solid."

Phoebe broke up that story in her head. "So you're saying that because I'm worried about why I'm feeling the way I am, I have some headway..."

"Yup..."

"...that I should name my reasons for my ill will..."

"Right..."

"...and that I will probably find it's nothing?"

"That's for you to decide if it sounds objectively stupid - as in they seem dumb even as you read them back to yourself. I can't help you any more without whatever you do proving meaningless."

"Thanks, Aunt Paci. At least I have a plan now. I'll talk to you later."

"Alright, take care."

As Phoebe hung up, she looked up at the cave in front of her. "OK, this is it..." With that, she pulled out her syringe and tested its suction while walking in to where she needed to be…

As she reached up to where a stalactite was, she tickled a plant that was hanging next to it. The plant squealed, "Heehee, stop it, you're gonna make me lose my - WHEEE!" With that, it squirted out a thick metallic liquid.

As Phoebe prepared the syringe and raised it to the dripping fluid, she became aware and distracted by a crackling sound in the air next to her. As she saw the sparks fly from that spot, she suddenly felt uneasy. "Oh, no…."

 **################################################################################################**

"Phoebe! Where are you? Come on, I brought tacos!"

Ken had reached the place where he picked up the call from Dipper and ran a quick check on if Phoebe was there. Sighing, he picked up his phone and dialed Dipper. "Hey, boss, you wanted me to call when I reached the point in the trail where we split. No sign of her."

#####################################################################################

"Alright, Ken, let's go with what we discussed, then." Dipper was trying really hard to stay calm. Mabel went and calmly put a hand on his back.

"This is Fee-fee we're talking about. She's been out there a zillion times. She's fine."

"That was before the Parallels showed up, though." Dipper breathed slightly heavier than normal.

"Oh, please. She's half-lumberjill; she can throw down if need be. Besides, what are the odds of her running into them?"

Suddenly there was a beeping noise emitting from Ford's jacket. As soon as he whipped the blaring phone-sized device from his coat pocket, he frowned. "Dipper," he said slowly. "Give m the phone."

Dipper paled. "Wait, why?"

"You're already hyperventilating. If I told you what I want to tell Ken, you'd be incomprehensible and unable to pass the message."

"Sure, as if that won't do the same thing." Dipper gulped as he complied.

Ford held the phone to his ear. "Ken, listen to me. The situation just got more complicated. A Parallel rift is opening at Echo Cave."

"WHAT!?" Dipper yelled.

##########################################################################################

"WHAT?!" Ken instinctively shouted into the phone. "How do we even know this?"

"When Dipper was trying to modify the Journal Driver for his own use, I used my resources to install sensors at various choke points around Gravity Falls where I thought there may be portals to their dimension. The one at the cave is currently giving off energy readings that are off the charts."

Ken could hear Dipper say in the background. "No, no, no! Not her…"

Wendy's voice also was audible, somewhat less confident than usual. "She'll be ok, right? I mean, she's a tough girl..."

Ken responded as he started running. "Dipper, Wendy, listen to me. I'm almost there. I WILL keep her safe. I promise." As he hung up, he doubled his pace.

Without losing a step, he whipped out Chapter 00 and clicked it open, causing it to emit a PING and turn green. As he inserted it into his Driver, the Driver chanted:

"NEW CHAPTER! WHO IS. THE STUDY TODAY?"

Ken's hands went high above his head before he rolled them into fists and quickly brought them down to his waist - there really was no way to do that as slowly as he would've liked while running. He crossed his hands and opened them so the fingers were ready to spin the faceplate. Just before he did, however, he called out:

"Henshin!"

As the Driver responded, "GO WEIRD! I'm a Kamen Rider for the uncommon writer!" The mystical brown page spun in front of him and rapidly drew the outline for his armor, but the second it finished and slowed down the boy tore through it, being encased in the brown-and-yellow armor once more.

As he Ran, he only had one thought: _Hang on, Phoebe. Just try to stay away from trouble._

######################################################################################################

Phoebe was in some honest-to-God trouble.

She found herself thrown backwards onto the grass as she faced a Parallel clad in red and about thirty brown privates under his command.

"Haha! Looks like we chose a good spot!" the Commander crowed. "Nothing but a simple old girl to try stopping us."

"Simple?" Phoebe got up and found herself full of anger. "You chose a bad day to insult me, but simple? Really?"

"What, you mean to tell me you're not? We've seen the technological advancements of this world, and until Kamen Rider Weird showed up we laughed at all of them!" His entire corps began cackling like a mixture of hyenas and witches.

Phoebe, however, crouched down to a lower degree than Ken had the day before and explained, "Everybody only cares about Weird, everybody only wants to deal with him. I'll give you something new to fear!" With that she charged.

"Onward, troops!" The commander's call sent his men surging forward.

It immediately became clear why Phoebe had crouched so low when she opened her palm to reveal a bit of dirt which she then threw sideways. It scattered like dust and blinded her enemies. As the first few were recovering, Phoebe lost no time in kicking them square in the chest and sending two or three back. Another one raised its weapon at her, but she caught the wrist, kicked the enemy back, and claimed the blaster for herself. With multiple rounds of TSEW! TSEW!, she used it to send her enemies down to the ground.

Suddenly and all too soon, the blaster clicked. Phoebe checked the battery. "YOuj really use something with that low power?"

"Fool!" The commander laughed. "These are specially designed weapons to run off of our dimension's energy! We are bathed in it, but out of our hands it won't hold many shots." With that, one or two of the others aimed their pistols at her.

Quick as lightning, she threw the empty gun square into one of them. It clonked him out, but now she was out of options as the rest surrounded her. She desperately found herself trying to think of a way out to no avail.

Suddenly a rock came flying out of the woods. With a mighty CLONK! It hit one of her assailants on the head and let him on the ground unconscious. The others began turning and scanning the woods, looking for the new challenger.

They received their answer in the form of a voice saying. "Let. Her. Go. She has nothing to do with this!"

Phoebe felt her breathing quicken. "Oh boy..."

The commander smiled. "Weird? I was wondering if you'd show. Using a rock is an unusual entrance, though."

"I have a lot of tools at my disposal, Parallel," The voice replied, still hard to track. "Your kind might recognize this next one."

They heard a PING come from the woods. One of the troopers yelled out, "Here! It came from this point for sure."

"NEW CHAPTER! WHO IS. THE STUDY TODAY?"

"Next Page!"

As Driver and Rider said their lines together, the troopers abandoned their hostage in order to surround the point of interest. Just as they were ready though, they received a massive shock.

"GNOME! JEFF, CARSON, STEVE, JASON, SCHMEEEBUUULOOOOCK!"

Before the Driver was even done, five mini-Riders lunged out of the woods and onto the faces of five different soldiers. They all screamed as they toppled to the ground, but found themselves unable to react before the gnome-sized Riders delivered fatal punches to the throat.

"Who else want some?!" they all roared together as they held out their hands. "ACORN KNIFE!" When they were armed, the five sprang into action.

Phoebe looked in one direction as one "gnome" leaped onto the face of another soldier and began slashing wildly. In another, one of his doubles stabbed his foe in the legs until he fell down before delivering a solid kick to the chest. Phoebe noticed that only four were fighting.

"You ok?"

She looked down at her feet to find the fifth miniature Ken Takigawa looking at her through his helmet-mask. She found herself mentally disoriented both at the craziness of it all and her ability to have had such ill will towards someone now making sure she was okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How'd you even find me?"

"Your dad made Finn confess about your conversation. We figured you might have tried something like this."

Phoebe found herself deflating a bit. She could tell the eyes under that helmet were pleading with her. "We need to talk later."

"Phoebe, I'm sorry that I -"

Suddenly Phoebe saw something out the corner of her eye moving toward them. "Look out!" she called as she punted the little warrior out of the way. A second afterwards she was caught in a net. "Sorry!" She barely had time to say as she suddenly shrunk along with the net until it resembled a pile of cloth. The Parallel commander picked it up and cackled.

"NO!" Ken cried out from where he had landed. Meanwhile, the remaining five guards had finally overpowered their attackers and threw them to where their comrade lay. As the five recombined to form a single, red-and-blue Kamen Rider of average height, they looked on in horror as the six remaining foes formed a straight line.

"Time for MY special ability! Behold the Power of Project Turbo!" The commander's outfit began expanding and ripping along the arms. Small disks covered the entire upper appendages, which ended in yellow gloved hands. Meanwhile, the legs had similar boots that were soon supplanted with wheels that reached far below the sole, causing Turbo to rely on them for support. Meanwhile the back of the red uniform was shattered to reveal a giant engine with three exhaust tubes. He had become some weird hybrid of humanoid and vehicle.

As his body revved up, Turbo laughed and held his prized, which was clearly shaking as the girl inside kept fighting to escape. "You know, the smaller you are, the greater force feels on the body." He grinned evilly as his men pulled out small sticks from their pockets - sticks that quickly expanded into skateboard-sized tech. "I bet she throws up after just a few-miles lap, eh, boys?"

The other grunted their agreement as Ken looked on in horror. Project Turbo zoomed off into the distance while the mooks threw their boards onto the floor. As they hovered a few inches in the air, the troops boarded them and zoomed off after their master.

Ken's head cleared as he got up. "Well, now they have hoverboards. Great." He rapidly got to his feet and clicked open Chapter 00 while spinning the Driver centerpiece to the Unlock position and removing Chapter 01. Meanwhile, he used the suit's interface to patch a call.

"Mystery Shack, come in! This is Weird."

"Ken? It's Ford. What's the situation?"

The Driver must have had some sense of dramatic timing, as it did not go through the entire transformation sequence this time. Instead, it just said "GO WEIRD!" as the red-and-blue armor was shattered and replaced with brown-and-yellow.

"Good news, I found Phoebe. Bad news, things just got complicated and I need wheels. How soon can I get them?"

Ford hurriedly answered, "It's part of why we made a Chapter. Using the same pocket dimension technology as your weapons, we can warp it nearby and it'll drive itself to you in about three seconds."

"Is that tech ready?"

"Does untested count as ready?"

Ken whipped out Chapter 02. "It does now," He replied as he clicked the red button below the switch. It made a PIP PIP sound effect like a car door locking. He couldn't help but mutter to himself, "one...two..."

As if on cue, with a mighty ROAR the blue motorcycle tore out of the woods and wheeled next to him. The Driver sensed the proximity of both the key and the vehicle and called out:

"GOBBLERIDER! LAND OR SEA, I AM A MAN'S BEAST! YA-HAA!"

As Ken climbed on, Ford pressed him for more details. "I included a few Portal-Closing Flash Bombs, or PCFBs, in a pouch under the seat. But Ken, what is going on?"

The Kamen Rider opened his Chapter with a PING and replied, "The commander turned into some humanoid vehicle and a squad of cronies have some sort of hoverboard tech. They shrunk Phoebe and are planning to go in big circles to torture her with overwhelming centripetal force."

"Is that even going to work?"

"They seem to think so. You're the scientist, you tell me."

"I honestly don't know… but basically, it's beings from an alternate universe with Maglev tech versus a Kamen Rider bearing tech from the three best minds of an isolated town in Oregon."

Ken inserted Chapter 02 into the new keyhole and felt the machine hum to life. "I know which one I'm betting on winning. I have to, given what's at stake here. Weird Out."

With that, he hung up and revved the machine up with the handlebars. VROOM! VROOM!

"OK, Gobblerider, time to let her rip!"

With that and another mighty ROAR, the beast of a motorcycle raced into the forest after its prey.


	10. Workplace Environment, Part 3

**I honestly thought about splitting this into two parts, and really I would have were I not convinced I would not have finished both on time due to lack of energy. Again, after this I have law school, so my writing will be slowing back down - hopefully not as bad as before, though. So if you notice that this chapter seems to have two different tones in different parts, that's why. I hope you enjoy, read and review, etc.**

Project Turbo zoomed through the woods, his honor guard gliding behind him. He triumphantly looked at the bag bag in has hand as he moved, gloating, "I bet you're getting sick in there, aren't you? Don;t worry, I reckon another ten minutes in there will be enough to end it all."

Meanwhile, a reduced Phoebe held onto the mesh as she was jostled around inside the bag. Even as she felt her stomach tighten, her resolved remained firm. "Come on, Phoebe, you got this," she said to herself, gritting her teeth. "Block out pain, block out the disturbance...just focus on a point and hang in there. Mom taught you how to do this."

Suddenly the entire bag shifted the other way. Phoebe found herself thrown on the other side, her stomach churning while the lightheadedness was amplified. "Then again..." she moaned. "...she probably never put up with something like this."

TSEW! TSEW!

The high-speed caravan received a giant shock as lasers suddenly shot out of the woods behind them. After a few misses, one of the guards was destabilized as a blast hit his board. "WHOA! I'M HIT!"

Turbo looked over his shoulder in surprise. "What? How?"

Phoebe looked outside and saw him spin and fall off at a speed that definitely killed him. Meanwhile, she looked at the direction of the laserfire. She didn't have long to guess what had hit him, however, before she saw emerge the head of an aqua monster she had seen only in her father's journals until that point. For a moment she thought she was hallucinating.

Even that moment, however was short-lived as the rest of the vehicle emerged from the shadows of those distant trees. Phoebe stared at the bike that now raced towards them, and the man who was riding it. "Well, this got interesting."

 **[AN: "Be Survivor" by ZZ, if you please]**

There was no denying it; Kamen Rider Weird was racing towards the pack on his trusty friend the Gobblerider, now officially christened into his armory.

Project Turbo was enraged. "This is impossible! We saw the fight yesterday! That thing is nowhere that fast!"

Ken leaned forward. "I wasn't gunning it back then. Even then, yesterday it was just a gift from family. Now, it's what puts the 'Rider' in Kamen Rider!"

 **[Stop music]**

Phoebe groaned from inside the bag. "Was that joke really necessary?"

 **[Resume]**

"Men! Take him down!" Turbo took a ramp that had formed from the unsteady ground, putting him many feet above Weird. The four remaining Parallels meanwhile rode effortlessly off this elevation to glide in front of their new target and face him with blasters raised.

One floated closeby enough that Ken immediately responded. "Who's hungry!?" Unfortunately, as he clicked the 'Bite' button designed to extend the neck of the figurehead until it bit down, the monster merely stuck slightly out and flailed left to right, ignorant of the target in front of him.

"What?" Ken was confused. "How do you not - ?"

TSEW!

He had to rapidly duck as his foes took the opportunity to get a few shots in. As he straightened himself back out, he grunted in frustration. "Back to Plan A, then." With that HE started firing back with the lasers one more.

TSEW! KaCHINK! "Aah!"

One more guard found himself taking a shot to the chest. His friends sometimes had shaken off one hit and needed another. But taking a shot like that when it throws you off your hoverboard going at high speed was a different matter entirely, especially as he landed on the ground with a sickening crunch.

Unfortunately, the other three were now far wiser and dodged the incoming blasts while returning with their own volleys. Ken was pretty clear on the overall situation: _this is turning into a pointless crossfire if I can't throw a curveball soon._

As he looked at Chapter 02 in the keyhole, he realize something: _I'm still in Chapter 00_ …

With that he leaned forward but did little else, unless one counts goading the enemy. "Give it your best shot! I'm wide open!"

The three enemies were all too eager to comply. All three of them squeezed off three shots each, for a total of nine heading towards him.

"Aaand...now!"

"QUILL SABER!"

Out of seemingly nowhere he whipped out his trusty cutlass, deflecting all the blasts that would have otherwise it him. Most went wild as they ricocheted off, but one hit its master square in the head, causing him to fall over with a Wilhelm scream and meet the same fate as his friend.

The other two looked at each other in shock. One of them called out, "Shoot him from behind!"

"Roger!" his teammate replied as they slowed down together, passing on either side of Ken.

But he was too quick for one of them. Sticking out one leg in a powerful kick proved enough to get one soldier to wobble on his hoverboard - "Woah! What the-?" - and lose control of the deceleration, leaving him right behind Ken's arm. Barely turning around to look, Ken inverted his grip on the Quill Saber and stabbed him in the gut, his body losing blood as it fell into the bushes.

That left only one shooter to deal with, but with a distinct advantage - Ken had no idea where he was firing. In fact - THUNK! "Ow!" - a stray shot him him in the shoulder. The armor blunted his attack, but Ken knew the entire routine was too much of a distraction to deal with Turbo first. With Phoebe already being taken on this joyride for five minutes, he had to do something now.

The hostage in question looked out of her imprisonment, scanning for her own way out of the problem were she in his shoes. As she looked up at the trees that the two were cruising through and under, she had a flash of inspiration. "KEN!" she yelled, fully aware that he was probably not going to be able to hear her now-tiny voice. ""Use the -"

But Ken's own mind hadn't been idle. Revving the motorbike to get more speed, he widened the gap between him and his pursuer before performing a wheelie and shooting lasers into the air. Or so it seemed.

CRACK! The blasts hit a branch overhanging a few feet above them. The Gobblerider zoomed through effortlessly before the limb broke completely and fell to the ground. The final soldier, however, was less fortunate; with a BONK and a second CRACK, it broke on his helmet and caused him to fall to the ground dead.

Phoebe couldn't help but smile at the display. "Maybe he's not so bad after all..." she frowned. "But then...why did I..."

Ken, meanwhile, was ready for the final boss. Calling up to Project Turbo, still riding the upper ledge, he challenged, "Your men are down. Get off your wheels, come on down, and fight me yourself!"

"Not after that display!" Turbo mocked in reply. "You have lasers, I have Death Disks!" With that he effortlessly rotated, began driving backwards, and aimed both arms at Weird.

"Death Disks? What even - ?"

His question was answered with the many circular blades launching off of the Parallels arms and straight at the hero below. He crouched behind the handlebars and thereby dodged several, but a few others hit the hull of the Gobblerider. One in particular hit the wheel with a CHING, nearly resulting in a jam and actually causing it to wobble a fair bit.

"Woah! No no no..." Ken rooted his feet on the ground in order to break. As he steadied himself, he picked up speed again and drew his Quill Saber. "Well, at least he can't reload."

Of course he had to say that. Turbo's arms regrew all the missing disks before he started launching them again.

Ken started swatting the new projectiles out of the way, bobbing and weaving on the narrow road. "I need a game changer quick." He looked at the figurehead and let out a quick breath of anxiety. "OK, let's try this again." With that, he once again squeezed the button labeled 'Bite'.

Once again, however, it failed him as the dragonic figurehead just flailed about. "Come on! I can't get a straight shot with the lasers. I _need_ you, boy!" His pleas, however, were of little help.

He quickly slapped his ear to patch a call through the helmet. "Ford, this is Ken, I need some tech help. What did you do to my 'bite' function?"

Ford replied, "We turned off Auto-Lock, and judging by your helmet cam feed, it wouldn't help you here either! The woods are two thick, it wouldn't get a clear bite on that target!"

"OK, putting a pin in the helmet cam thing, why would you turn Auto-Lock off?! What am I supposed to do now?" Ken had to move rapidly to the far right of the 'lane' to dodge the next volley. As the road turned, he became aware that they had almost made a full lap.

"It's based on your willpower now! We added it to the Rider system so it only works with you, like we said! Think with your mind where you want the jaw to go!"

Ken became flustered, "While I'm driving through dense forestry and have a guy shooting at me?! This is too much!"

"Not your tune from last night, Ken" a third voice joined the conversation.

Ken's breath was taken in a second. "Dipper? You're on the call?"

"Yeah, I am. This is my daughter on the line, you know!" Dipper responded forcefully. "And when another life was on the line yesterday, you faced everything that threatened it - including my doubt - and told the world to bring it on. You have a lot of willpower, Kamen Rider Weird. Now it's time to use it!"

Ken felt invigorated at the speech and inhaled deeply but slowly. "OK….I got this..."

"You sure do….now make _him_ see that." With that, the link was terminated.

Ken looked at all the trees around him,all the branches that protruded out of them like…..Suddenly he had it. "Alright, Gobblerider. Take a BITE!" he said as he hit the button one more time, this time focusing on what he wanted to happen.

Turbo was a bit too distracted to notice this conversation or the minute actions of the Rider. Especially as he held in his hand what he thought was the key to victory - three more disks. "You're tired out and out of options. Now PERISH!" With a wicked cackle he threw them with all his might….

Only for them to suddenly be jammed into a piece of wood. The Parallel became flustered with confusion. "Wait...what?"

The green eyes of the legendary Gobblewonker looked at him in defiance as it held in its mouth a long tree branch that had just blocked the shot. Even the Kamen Rider who controlled him looked at their enemy with newfound confidence and anger - as if he wasn't already full of it. Phoebe was at this point holding her stomach, but even she was in awe as she saw the two heads ready to fight any threat.

"You're not in the clear yet!" Turbo instantly threw more, one after another.

"Drop!" Ken called out as he hit the button again. The Gobblerider spat out its bark just in time for Ken to yell "...and again!" With another slap of the button, the figurehead once again grabbed a branch, tore it off and began swatting and blocking disk after disk.

"Have them back!" Ken offered as the Gobblewonker threw the bark at the offending Parallel. As it hit him in the shins, the impact sent him spinning around in circles as loss of control practically paralyzed him, leaving him unable to shoot.

Weird's own lane began rising to the same height as Turbo's, with a single wide tree in the median and the clearing with the cave right next to them. With that Ken called out "NOW!" and slammed the button for the last time. The Gobblewonker reached out and grabbed a branch hanging high from the tree.

"Aaand pull!"

The neck retracted, lifting the entire bike and rider as the momentum sent him forward. With that, Ken found himself sailing towards his foe. "Phoebe, hold on tight!" he exclaimed as he released the button and free fell right through Turbo. As he did, with several swings of the arm the Quill Saber cut through multiple times.

The two of them landed in the clearing where the race had begun - one still on their feet, one on the ground with their armor shattered. "My precious wheels!" cried Turbo. "At least I still have your - wait, where?" He found his hand empty and started searching his pockets like a teenager looking for a key.

"Missing something?" Kamen Rider Weird held up the black mesh bag, freshly seized from the captor. As he opened it up, its passenger rolled out and was covered in blue light before expanding back to her normal size. The only sign that she had been captured was a face that looked a little greener than usual. Combined with the fact that she was still able to glower at the Parallel Commander as she got up, he had never seen anything that intimidating in his life.

Ken turned to her. "You OK?"

Even as she looked sick, Phoebe nodded. "Just...finish this jerk."

Ken nodded before turning to Turbo. "You said you still have something? Doesn't look like you do. And so," he said as the Gobblerider drove up behind him. "this ends here."

Without looking, he leaned back and hit the 'bite' button. The Gobblewonker head immediately bit down on the Rider suit collar and threw him straight in the air. Turbo didn't even try to run, knowing that all he could do was stare impending defeat in the face.

As Ken flew in the air, he pushed in the center of the Driver, which responded with "FINAL NOTE!" As he once again rotated his sword to form the copper energy orb, he also extended his leg to the target beneath him as the foot gained power.

"WEIRD! CRITICAL STRIKE!"

With that he slashed the orb straight at the Parallel as his own descent accelerated. The blast from the orb friend the armor and left it sparking, while Ken soaring through with a mighty Rider Kick shortly after proved too much for the commander to handle.

"I only regret that I lost in a match of speed. Glory to Kraus!" he said as he fell and exploded. BOOM!

Ken spun the wheel to expose Chapter 00 and pulled it out with a "To be continued" from the Driver. Meanwhile he turned around to the object of this whole mission. "Phoebe, please tell me you're OK…."

Phoebe was hunched over, looking all the world as if she was on the verge of retching. "Yeah, I'll be fine, but….uggh, so glad I haven't eaten yet."

Ken looked at the entrance to Echo Cave. "We still have a portal to deal with." With that, he opened the seat of his bike to find a few PCFB bombs waiting for him. He picked up one and walked to the entrance. Phoebe seemed a bit more relaxed herself as she followed.

Neither one had anything quite as dramatic as the speech from the last closing of a portal prepared, but one of them did feel like a few words were in order. Ken firmly called to the glowing rift, "If any Parallels are listening, give me a hiss."

He heard a very loud chorus of hisses in response. He smirked a bit as he replied "Pass this message to Kraus: he'd better not let any of his men try kidnapping again. Just because I'm the only Kamen Rider doesn't mean I'm the only person you should be afraid of upsetting. Case in point..." With that he turned to Phoebe and offered the flashbang. "Care to do the honors?"

Phoebe held it in her hand, rotating it for a few seconds. Then she offered a nod of thanks before addressing the same invisible crowd. "Just to be very clear; he may have the tools to kill you all, but if you cross my family again, you'll find something else to fear as well." With that, she threw the bomb at the portal, and with a flash it was neutralized and the teenagers looked once again into the peaceful opening of a cave without any dimensional gateway blocking it.

After standing there in silence for awhile, Phoebe walked slowly to a rock and sat down. Ken followed suit about a foot and a half away. For awhile, the two sat awkwardly next to each other, unsure of what to do next. Then one thought of something.

"You said you hadn't eaten in a while?" Ken asked, taking his backpack off. As Phoebe looked on, Ken reached in and took out the two Tupperware inside. As he offered the red one to her, she saw that his eyes were full of concern, pleading, guilt...odd emotions for a hero to have. She sighed deeply and took the container, unsure of what to do next.

"Thanks," she said, opening it. "I guess this was Gladys' idea?"

"She more or less insisted," Ken replied honestly. As the two bit down, Ken was swept away at how good it was despite being cold. "This is the best."

Phoebe gave a small smile of assent. "It's Uncle Soos. Expect nothing less." The two ate in awkward silence for awhile.

Ken eventually spoke up again, the bravado he had when speaking to the Parallels all but gone. "She also said we should talk, you know? Sort things out. You said something similar before being captured. And you're both right, I have a lot that I want explained and a few things I should - "

"Ken," Phoebe cut him off. "We do need to talk, but we just went through quite a fight.

And honestly...I needed a few hours to sort things out myself before telling you. I still do. Can we hold this off for a bit, until maybe just before you leave?"

Ken exhaled. "You're probably right..." Ken assented. "Especially with your family worried about you."

As his Mariachi Eye of the Tiger ringtone once again went off, he looked at his phone for a split second before passing it to the redhead beside him. "Speaking of..."

She picked up. "Dad? I'll be home soon."

"Are you hurt? Do you need help getting here? Should I prep the healing unit?"

Phoebe chuckled- both out of amusement and to calm Dipper's nerves. "I'm fine, Dad. I gotta admit, Ken did a good job getting me out of trouble."

"Oh...alright. Just come straight home, OK?"

Phoebe nodded despite not being on camera. "I know, Dad. See you in a few." As she hung up, she nodded to Ken. "Can that bike fit two?"

"It already has once," Ken groaned as he got up and the two walked to the Gobblerider. Opening the seat again, he was met with a pleasant surprise. "Ford added a guest helmet, too." He tossed it to Phoebe.

As they sat down and put their helmets on, Phoebe inquired, "So you ride a motorcycle with a figurehead capable of biting and breaking wood, and you still worry about helmet safety?"

As he revved up the vehicle, Ken shrugged in half-defeat. "Control what you can, I suppose." With that, the two rode back into the forest at a far safer speed than before.

##############################################################################################

As they pulled up, Phoebe sighed. "Well, time to face the music."

Ken tried reassuring her. "He seemed more relieved than anything else on the phone."

Phoebe raised an eyebrow. "Wasn't talking about him."

"Wait, then..."

"FEE-FEE!"

Gladys came tearing out of the Shack and ran to her cousin, who simply protested. "Hey, no, don't - !"

But the sixteen-year old girl was never one for listening when she felt a hug was in order. As she squeezed the redhead fiercely, she couldn't help but scold. "You stupid butt! You should've come to me when you were feeling down!"

"Hey, leave me alone!" Phoebe whined. "I needed my space for a bit, OK?"

Gladys responded, "Nuh-uh, what you needed was to talk things out and tell Ken why was was being stupid!"

"He wasn't, OK? I just - "

Ken decided to interject. "Gladys, she's had a long day...just, let her take a breather, OK?"

Gladys pouted as she put Phoebe down, who brushed herself off and walked to the Shack. The elder cousin, meanwhile, glared at the 'offender' in question. "You said you'd talk it out!"

"Gladys, I wanted to, but she promised me we'd do it later. Can you just….let that be how this goes?"

She huffed. "Oh, fine!" before sauntering back inside, where Dipper was giving his daughter a big hug.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know that I was - "

"It's OK, Dad," Phoebe said as she smiled at her dad while Wendy silently joined the group hug. "You had to get Ken familiarized with the area, I get that. I guess I just feel like a jerk for not acting like I understood."

Wendy stroked her daughter's hair. "You're not a jerk, cutie. We all know that you have the best intentions whenever you act."

"Well, I'm not done yet..." Phoebe looked up at Wendy. "Mom, I need to talk to someone in private later. Can I - ?"

Wendy smiled. "Don't need to say another word. Go ahead."

Dipper ruffled Phoebe's hair himself. "Is it with who I think it is? Good luck, kiddo."

Phoebe smiled. "Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. Now I need to go...prepare."

With that, she retreated to her room upstairs, to a secondary room that had been built within the attic once the family had gotten a little too large for prior accommodations. Once she got there, she took out a piece of paper, sighed, and wrote down "Why I have problems with Ken."

###########################################################################################

"You sure she told you to meet her here, dawg?" Soos asked as he stood in the gift shop with a certain hero.

Ken sighed. "Yes, Soos, I'm sure. I just hope it's soon, I don't want Grandpa Fiddleford to worry."

"I thought you said he was fine with you being out as late as you had to."

"It's a privilege I'd rather not overuse. Force of habit from home, long story. Now, then - "

"Sorry!"

The two turned to see Phoebe run downstairs and straight to Ken. As she looked at him, he could tell she tensed up slightly. Nevertheless, she continued, "I needed longer than I thought."

"It's fine. I really have no reason to complain like I was." Ken turned to Soos. "so she said she wanted privacy, and uh..."

Phoebe couldn't help but laugh a bit. "I didn't expect to get it here, per se." With that, she moved a curtain to reveal a ladder. "We're going up."

Soos shuddered. "Yeah, you doods are definitely on your own there. Have fun, and good night in case I don't see you when you get down."

"Thanks, Soos," the two said together as they climbed up.

Ken was met with a sight that hadn't exactly lost its glamor for Phoebe either. Two lounge chairs and a cooler with soda sat on the roof overlooking the parking lot. Phoebe sat down and motioned for Ken to take the other seat.

"This is amazing!" Ken remarked as he obliged. "Nice view and everything."

Phoebe looked out towards the setting sun. "My mom, my dad, my aunt Maymay...a long time ago, this was their luxury spot, their secret to get away from everything else. Stan found his way up here once, and eventually the rest of the family was pretty familiar with it, but to this day it's mostly them, the twins, and myself."

Ken looked at her. "So am I now part of this group too?"

Phoebe shrugged. "It's a free country. The others don't like coming up here - especially Soos - but whether you do is your own choice now that you've been up once." Phoebe muttered to herself. "God knows I've made enough bad decisions for one day."

Ken looked at her. "Phoebe, today wasn't your fault, OK? It was mine. I didn't notice you in the woods, I let you follow me long enough to hear about that last chore - "

Phoebe interrupted. "Ken, no. Let me talk, OK? This is my fault, and you need to understand why."

"Phoebe, if you're doing this out of some sense of duty, don't. I don't want you to do something you don't want to do."

Despite being repentant, Phoebe still testily replied, "What makes you think I don't want to?"

Ken pointed to her hand. "Mostly because you apparently made a draft for this conversation."

"What? Oh," she deflated. "Um, yeah, this is more of a scratchpad than a draft. You met Aunt Paz...it was an idea she came up with, actually. To sort out what I was really thinking and feeling." She crumpled it up and threw it behind her. "I don't really need it now."

Ken looked at her as the paper dropped. "So, then, you feel ready?"

Phoebe nodded. Both abandoned the lounge chairs for the edge of the roof, their feet dangling as they sat. With that, Phoebe began:

"I have to first off make one thing clear: yesterday was my fault, and there's no real way to argue otherwise. I was the one who chose to follow you. I was the one who used the skills taught to me to stay out of your sight. I was the one who chose to go on a dangerous errand alone despite the only nearby source of help heading home. I did all that because I let my negative feelings cloud my head. And yes, those feelings were about you. So what were they?"

"It wasn't blind hatred. You're a great person to be around, like the night before you first put on the Driver - sitting with me, Finn, and Gladys around a campfire. And you wouldn't be a Kamen Rider if you didn't care about others. I think I already knew both of those things, even if what happened today reminds me of how true that is.

"I think in the end a lot of it was jealousy. Jealousy of a lot of things, which I can't consider all at once. First there were your abilities. I mean, look at today - you cut the toenails of a forest giant with a sword in five seconds and he enjoyed it! You can take on waves of foes thanks to an invention someone else made! For someone I just met to suddenly have that kind of potential and handle Gravity Falls that well….I guess I was just disturbed, given how long I lived here and yet can't always say the same as you.

Another part of me was jealous at how much Dad trusted you. He goes from insisting that he alone will handle everything to trusting you with paranormal research and hero duties in two days. That included tasks that normally I could and would do. Part of me wondered if I was being replaced in his mind."

"Phoebe, he would never - " Ken interrupted, but Phoebe plowed ahead.

"I said _part_ of me. The other part of me knew that he was just trying to get you familiar with the woods as fast as possible, and that there was no way that he would leave me feeling abandoned on purpose. So then there was the guilt of even thinking that way - that apparently I had so little faith in him.

"And then of course, part of it was inferiority. I know you had your martial arts self-training in San Francisco, but you never had any scrape with the paranormal. Meanwhile, I'd been reading the Journals since I was a baby and learned everything about survival from my mom. So for you to come here and suddenly do what I was doing and more - and once in a while better - made me feel inferior.

"All this led to a single question in my mind. Yeah, I know that when I say this year is different than last, you'll automatically think it's because of the Parallels. But what else has changed is the fact that you're here - both as Kamen Rider Weird and as just Ken. And I was...confused. In this new order, who am I?

"It's not fair that all of this was projected on you in the way that it was, or that you had to save me as a result. At least I hope now you understand where this all came from. I don't stand by it, but there's nothing I can do about the past."

Ken sat there, dumbfounded and lost in thought, for a full three minutes after Phoebe was done. Eventually he got up and looked at her. "That's...a lot. I get why you couldn't talk about it until just now. You know how you needed time to think about all this…?"

Phoebe looked up at him, confused. "Yeah..."

"I think now I do, too. Is it OK if we continue this tomorrow morning?"

Phoebe was bewildered. "Sure, but….what do you need time to think about?"

Ken said aloud. "Mostly what to think of all that jealousy and doubt." Then as he climbed down and left the house for his bike, he added under his breath "And how to make things right..."

########################################################################################################

Ken lay on his bed that night, rotating Chapter 02 in his hand. It had been five hours and an uneventful dinner with Fiddleford - although the fricasseed squirrel was rather unique - but he had finally had an idea hit him. What he had in mind was something that after today almost no one would approve of, if it was anyone else. But given who this was and what they were capable of, with was worth a try. He just had to make sure he wouldn't regret before going through with it.

In other words, it didn't even need a second thought. "Saxon?"

"Yes, sir?" The house responded.

"Can you set my alarm to 7:30 and let Grandpa know in the morning that I left early if he asks?"

"Understood, sir?"

"Oh, and..." Ken said with a smile. "...don't play the music alarm tomorrow. It won't quite fit the mood."

"Something you have to do, sir?"

Ken rotated in his bed and settled in for sleep. "Just need to talk with a few people before work."

###################################################################################

Phoebe sat once again on the roof the next morning, looking at the woods that stretched beyond where the eye could see. What she told Ken yesterday about the woods having changed - somehow, looking from a higher perspective like this made her forget that. She was at peace here, as if nothing was different from last week, or last year, or when her mother had first taken her up here as a baby.

"I bet you wish you could feel that free all the time."

Phoebe was startled a bit as she turned around to see Ken coming up behind her. Still, she couldn't help but give a small smile. Despite his request to abruptly end the conversation, she had to admit that getting all of it off her own chest had made her feel better - both in general and about him. He wasn't the enemy, an she had come to terms with that. "I was talking aloud, wasn't I?"

Ken sat down next to her. "You don't sound surprised."

Phoebe looked back at him. "I've been told I can have that problem at times...supposedly it runs in the family."

As the two looked off into the distance, Ken remarked "I can only imagine from whom..."

For a moment there was a prolonged pause. One had gone back to enjoying the view, but unbeknownst to her, the other was thinking about a conversation from just an hour ago….

#############################################################################################################

" _Dipper? Can we talk?" Ken said as he entered the lab._

 _Dipper checked his watch without getting up. Arriving half an hour early meant this was serious. "Um, yeah, is everything OK?"_

" _Mostly," Ken truthfully admitted. "This is less about me and more about...Phoebe."_

 _Dipper nodded solemnly. "Thanks for getting her out of that trap yesterday, by the way."_

" _Well, it was the least I could do." Ken shifted uncomfortably. "I am the reason she walked into it, after all."_

 _Dipper shifted uncomfortably as well. "I think the blame's on me, too. There were definitely better ways to get you involved in Gravity Falls."_

 _Ken nodded. "Well, if it was the two of us who made the problem, let's solve it together."_

 _Dipper raised an eyebrow. "How so?"_

 _Ken looked at him. "She was able to follow me without being seen, navigated the woods without a map, had her own extraction kit from what I heard, held off Parallel soldiers until I got there, killed a few..."_

" _Where are you going with…?"_

" _...kept me out of the net, withstood what would have been insane G-force for her without vomiting, and did not really panic the entire time." He sighed and turned away. "Dipper, you've been a great mentor so far, but even you can't make up for the fact that she had thirteen years to learn all that, and spent them well."_

 _Dipper found himself becoming anxious as he replied, "You'd better not be going where I think you are with this. I'm not making her another Driver or giving yours to her. Even before you showed up she was the last person I'd have ever allowed near it! I won't put Phoebe at that kind of risk."_

" _Woahwoahwoahwoahwoah!" Ken held up both hands. "I would never give her or anyone that burden either, no matter how good they are! But.." he said, looking Dipper straight in the eye. "...she will put herself in front of that risk no matter what we do. So I was hoping she could work with me and be on scene with me."_

 _Dipper crossed his arms. "On scene as in wherever I send you? Including Parallel fights?"_

" _I'll make sure she only fights in self-defense and gets out of range as soon as feasible. But exploring the woods, running errands, meeting creatures...I could use her. I can watch her back and she can watch mine. Nothing will happen to either of us - you have my word."_

 _Dipper stood up and paced a bit, back facing Ken. "It's a lot to ask, and I think you know that...I just...don't know..."_

 _Ken looked down to his feet. "As I said, you prepared her for this. There may be something new in there, but it's still the same woods. She knows the danger and how to avoid it. Do you feel confident in what you've taught her?"_

 _A silence settled on them for a moment. Finally Dipper spoke._

" _The night you officially became a Kamen Rider, the one regret I had was that I couldn't be out in the field with you. This… might be the next best thing."_

" _You mean - "_

" _Yeah," Dipper turned around to face his mentee. "Ask her if she wants to join you...without letting on this conversation ever happened."_

#################################################################################################

Ken sighed and took a deep breath. "Phoebe, I thought about what you said last night...it meant a lot..."

Phoebe looked at him. "I'm glad you - "

"...but it was also laughably wrong."

She was taken aback. "Um, what?"

Ken started holding up fingers as he counted. "One, yes there's a lot I can do that you can't, but the same goes the other way around. I sure couldn't stay hidden in the woods like you did when following me yesterday. Two, you're right that a lot of what I can do is only because of Dipper and Ford, and I don't plan to let myself forget that for a second."

He was so immersed in thought that he didn't see Phoebe look at him with a changing face - one that went from a confused stare to a happy smile.

"Three, you should never feel guilty about feeling that Dipper's doing something wrong, even if it has to be by accident. It's what allows him to improve, to be a better father and do right by you as his daughter."

Phoebe looked at him with surprise. "You're...more passionate about that than I thought."

Ken looked at her to see if there was any trace of mockery in her voice and face. There wasn't, so he deflated a bit and explained, "You know my parents' marriage was rushed, and then shortly afterwards my mother left Gravity Falls and with it my father. She had parenthood thrusted into her hands before she was really ready, and she had to do it alone. It was like Maslow's hierarchy and Erikson's stages of development had a burdensome baby. She was able to take care of my physical needs when I was a baby, but when I started having complex emotional needs she needed me to be vocal so she could understand and adapt." He shook his head and gave a weak laugh. "In a way, she needed me to teach her how to be my mother. Crazy world we lived in."

Phoebe replied, "Wow….I never thought of it that way...I guess having a supportive family was something I just took for granted."

After a moment of silence, Ken got back on track. "Anyway..." Phoebe looked back at him. "Four, you said these woods are different, that it's a different world order than it was before. Is it, though? I'll admit I'm new, but I don't consider that as having to be monumental change. As for the Parallels, they're the last in a long list of dangerous things that I'm just learning have lurked in the forest. You knew it and have been careful around them despite how many years of venturing in there. And that," he said, looking very seriously into her eyes, "brings me to Five - answering your question of what you are in this world of yours."

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Let me guess - Phoebe Mabel Pines, the avid explorer who's proud to call Gravity Falls my summer home and can handle anything it throws at her? No more, no less and all that?"

"You're middle name's Mabel as in your aunt?" Ken was thrown off-rhythm for a second before surging back into it. "And yes, that's exactly who you are. I'd even say that's all you should be, but...I do want to add one more thing to that."

"Huh?" Phoebe said, taken aback. "What would that be?"

Ken responded. "My friend." Phoebe looked at him in disbelief as he got up. "I may be a Kamen Rider, but I could use a partner out there to watch my back and show me what they know about the area. And it could be more fun that way - which, honestly, is the best way to handle fear as far as I know. You wouldn't honestly be going too far out of the old beaten track - the same treks as before, but this time with more sense of purpose and less reason to fear." He offered a hand down. "How about it?"

Phoebe couldn't help but look at Ken in a new light. Here was someone who really only became involved in the family affairs by dumb luck, who was taking away time from his own quest of finding out his family story by becoming its protector - and yet there was humility and a desire to be her friend. All those accusations she had in her head yesterday morning seemed like the silliest thoughts imaginable. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

With that, she clasped his hand and shook it. "Sounds great to me."

As she got up, the atmosphere magically became jovial. The two started smiling, then laughing. The laughing amplified from gentle to laughing lungs out, up to the point where Ken was leaning on a lawn chair to breath.

As they wheezed, Ken apologized. "Sorry, I just….I dunno, it's funny to me how easily we seem to have resolved everything."

"No, I get it." Phoebe replied as she shook her head for clarity's sake. "I don't know why, but I do, you know?"

"Yeah..." Ken smiled. "So, partner, I have to still get the Organo-Gold from Echo Cave. Do you want to - "

"Wait a minute…." Phoebe checked her shirt pocket before pulling out a vial filled with the olden fluid. "No, we don't."

Ken gasped at the sight of the glorious liquid. "Wait, how?!"

Phoebe explained. "I had the syringe out and was loading it with the extract when the rift was opening. I barely got it into the vial before I was forced back by Parallels coming through."

Ken was in awe. "So that means….you could have gotten out of there...but you chose to get this instead. You risked your life for it?"

Phoebe smiled. "When you put it that way, I sound like a liability. Sure you want me arund, Ken Takigawa McGucket?"

Ken grinned even broader than before. "You know what, Phoebe Mabel Pines? I think we'll be getting along just fine."

With that he eyed the height of the rooftop to see if he could jump below or had to go back to the ladder. Suddenly, though, with a giant CREEAKING sound his attention was drawn to where Phoebe had decided to jump onto a nearby tree which sagged with her weight. She was therefore able to grab the tip of another tree, which then sagged until it deposited her on the ground.

She then looked up as Ken backed up on the roof, giving himself a running start for his attempt as he nervously rubbed his hands. She couldn't help but chuckle as she replied:

"Now that you mention it….So do I….."


	11. Priorities, Part 1

"It's alright..." Ken said to no one in particular as he inched forward. "Just take it slow...it'll be OK..."

"Ken..." started the redhead teen a few feet behind him. "You're not gonna make it…it's really volatile…"

"I know, but I got this..." Ken reached out with a hand, shaking despite his steady voice. "Don't worry...I'm fine to be around…don't panic..."

"Dude, you're gonna get us both hit." Phoebe scratched her wrist in anticipation. "Try to remember I'm in the danger zone too."

Ken couldn't help himself. "Guess I took you right into the - "

"Not another one of your bad jokes." Phoebe moaned.

The object of their study in front of them gave a low rumbling sound.

Ken winced. "Oooh, yeah, you're right. Bad timing."

Phoebe gave a weak laugh. "Well, at least it has taste?"

It gave yet another sound, which came across to the two teens as menacing and cause for concern.

Phoebe took a step back. "I think we might have to cut our losses now."

"I can do this, Phoebe..." Ken delicately touched the object. The growling turned into a higher-pitched noise.

"No, we're done!" Phoebe grabbed Ken and yanked him back as she started running. "It's gonna blow! Run for it!"

Ken stumbled for a bit in surprise before pulling his own weight. Soon the two were running full-tilt for the treeline as fast as their legs would -

BOOM!

As they heard the explosion behind them practically pierce their eardrums, they felt it rip both of them off the ground. Ken felt himself flying for a brief second as the ground first was pulled away from him….and then came back at an alarming speed.

WHUMP!

#########################

"Ken? Ken?...You alright?"

As Ken slowly groaned and opened his eyes, he panicked as the darkness that losing consciousness has wrought was only replaced with more darkness. Thankfully, bolting up form the dirt into the forest sun helped him calm down a bit. He turned right to see a recently revived Phoebe looking at him. As he made eye contact, he felt a light punch on his shoulder. "Had a nice nap?"

"Very funny, Phoe -" Ken suddenly registered that his legs felt sore, heavy, and...drippy? "What is - ?" He turned to find that his legs were covered in green ooze and ended mid-shin. "Yipe!"

Fortunately, the shock caused him to pull the rest of his leg out from under the dirt, allowing him to breathe more easily. "Thank god, I thought I'd lost my legs. How long were we out?"

"Five minutes?" Phoebe briefly glanced at the watch peeking out of her green flannel sleeve. "Let me get this straight, though - you spend your time running around as a superhero, and you were worried about being taken out by that?!"

"That's the thing; you think your dad would've let me keep fighting if I had been?" Ken got up and offered a hand to Phoebe. "Besides, first thing you learn in high school psychology - the human brain is not rational when it comes to fear. I have a better question, though."

"Yeah?" Phoebe said as she accepted the hand and hauled herself up.

Ken looked back at the charred ground where the source of the debris had been. "You're great-great-uncle, the one with twelve PhDs, meets a squash with the explosive yield of a grenade - " he scraped some of the muck off his leg. "...and decides to name it the Squash with a Human Face?"

The two looked at each other for a second before cracking up laughing. Not that that was anything new to those two.

Phoebe shook he head. "It is a bit weird, isn't it? In fairness, I think Gregrunkle Ford didn't know about that part until after he came back from his multidimensional voyage. Even then he should've renamed it."

Ken shook his head "Multidimensional voyage...makes it sound like he got a boat and everything... I gotta say, Phoebe, this is way more fun than learning from book reading."

"So, um..." Phoebe shifted a bit, her speech slowing slightly as if her words were deliberately chosen. "...you don't regret teaming up so far?"

Sensing she needed an uplifter, Ken grinned. "Not in heart or mind! My nose though..." Ken sniffed his clothes playfully as they walked back to the Shack. "...might be reconsidering."

The laughter rang freely in the forest that both of them enjoyed.

###################################################################################

Dipper sat on the front porch, scribbling notes into a spare notepad, when he suddenly smelled something odd. Looking up, his frown of confusion turned into a gentle smile as he saw his daughter and his student looking back at him, covered head to toe in forest soil and...well, he could only guess what the other substance was.

"Hey kiddo. Hey Ken. What, um, happened to you two?" he enquired, his eyebrow cocked.

Ken answered in mock guilt. "Um, organic food shopping at the farmer's market?"

Laughter rang freely from inside the house. A familiar female voice called out, "OK, that was a pretty good one."

Dipper called back. "Maybe you'd like to come out here and smell it, Wendy?"

"Nah, dude, I'm good."

Dipper turned his attention back to the other two. "In all seriousness, I can only assume you met a Squash with a Human Face?"

Ken nodded while his face scrunched up a bit. "Yeah, and we need to talk about your naming skills. Literally anything referencing its explosive tendencies would've been helpful."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Not like the journals are peer reviewed."

Phoebe good-naturedly joined in on the fun. "Not sure they'd be as much fun to read if they were."

"Speaking of, something I need to talk to you about. Both of you, since you're in on this whole project now kiddo."

"Great, I - "

Dipper held up a finger. "After the two of you shower."

Phoebe took one look at a particular blotch on her shirt and remarked, "Yeah, good idea," before bolting inside. Ken followed her a few steps, then stopped just shy of the door, looking confused and seemingly looking around the outside of the Mystery Shack for something.

Dipper registered what he was doing and shook his head. "Spare safety shower, lab side farthest from the door. Just wipe your feet before going in."

"Oh! Um, thanks." Ken hurried inside, feeling more focused as he prepared for what he assumed was a return to work mode once he was done washing up.

##################################################

Dipper sat in his lab, looking at his wristwatch. "Thirty hours," Dipper muttered to himself, leaning back. Thirty hours since Ken had asked him to let Phoebe work with him. He smiled to himself as he let the mind's eye rest on the smile that had been on his daughter's face when she had come in that day.

"Dad?"

Dipper rotated the chair to see a clean Phoebe in front of him. Smiling, he replied, "Having fun so far, I see?"

Phoebe nodded. "The best. Sure beats going out alone."

Dipper fidgeted a bit. "Yeah, well….sorry about not asking you before having Ken go out on his own to begin with."

Phoebe also slightly shifted her stance. "Well, um...means a lot, but...you know I wasn't talking about him. Not entirely, anyway..."

Dipper sighed. "Yeah, well...I know. Still, it's good that you have a friend of some sort out there."

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "'Good' might be a strong word. I don't exactly know anyone else who'd want to upset a vegetable."

"Oh, that was his idea?" Dipper shook his head in mock disappointment.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you two." Ken joined into the conversation, wearing a t-shirt identical to his normal brown one and a pair of green pants. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah." Dipper nodded. "First off, where's your jacket? Soos takes this stuff personally..."

"Relax, it's upstairs, it needed a rinse...and before you ask - " Ken put his hands up as if to avoid confrontation. "- Journal Number One wasn't in there."

"I know," the archaeologist responded, opening a compartment and took it out from atop a stack of books the leather book with a giant number 1 emblazoned on the golden six-fingered hand. "I took it back this morning when you were gone."

Ken looked guilty. "Um, this isn't about me bending the pages is it?"

Dipper shook his head, fully aware of how the three most easily embarrassed people in town were all in that room. "No, no...although, Mabel did notice and asked me to give you this." He handed his student a pink, glitter slip of paper that read, "Mabel's Guide to Reading! Get a Bookmark!" It didn't take much to recognize the brunette glued onto the side. Ken was, however, left a little confused about something else.

"Mabel's Guide?"

"Oh, right," Phoebe chimed in. "Aunt Maymay has a sort of video series about various - " she put up air quotes "- 'life things'. I'll get the link for you later."

Ken looked at the bookmark in mock irritation. "Great. Complete with her own merch line."

"OK, to be fair she's screamed Arts and Crafts since she and I were younger than you." Dipper took another book from the shelf. "Point is, I advise you use it on this."

Ken took the book and was startled upon inspecting it. It was identical to the book he had just had taken from him with one exception - the number on the front cover's hand. "Journal Number Three? Really?"

"Yeah, really?"

Ken turned to find that Phoebe had agreed with him, yet somehow seemed even more surprised than he was. "OK, why are you so invested?"

"You have no way of knowing this, but...this was Dad's first journal."

Ken turned to his mentor. "Was it really?"

Dipper nodded. "Yeah…that may be why I accidentally made it so it had to be your first one, too."

"What do you mean?"

Dipper gestured to the book. "Open to the middle and then flip four times to the left."

Ken did as asked only to pause for a second upon reaching the right page. "No way..."

Staring back at him was a reptilian face that he knew too well. Normally he would see it right in front of a pair of handlebars and a machine he was proud to call his own. This time, however, the sketch displayed the head attached to a long neck, plump belly, and fin-like arms of a scaly sea creature swimming through water. Underneath it was a description;

 _Legend had it that the lake of Gravity Falls was home to a giant sea monster known as the Gobblewonker. Those who believed in it were afraid of the capability it had to eat people whole and destroy their boats. As of 2014, however, it has been confirmed that the Gobblewonker was nothing more than the mechanical invention of Fiddleford McGucket._

"Gobblewonker? As in…?"

"McGucket didn't tell you?" Dipper itched his arm, slightly embarrassed at being the first person to tell him that. Slightly. "That's why he named your bike, I assume...didn't even know he had the head until you drove that thing into a fight, oddly enough...anyway, Chapter 02 came from that, and you might as well know..." He turned to the computer on his desk and pulled three flash drives out from behind it. "...so are these."

Phoebe leaned in, her face shining with curiosity. "Are these - ?"

"Yeah. New Chapters, on the way." Dipper raised his hand slightly to offer a better look. Phoebe picked one up and examined it. "I picked out which three were ideal, and they all happen to come from Journal Three. I guess that makes sense, considering..."

Ken picked a different one up and frowned. He flicked the switch on it once or twice, and although the metal USB contact popped out and retracted, something else was wrong. "No indicator light...these Chapters aren't active."

"I did say they were only on the way." Dipper grabbed the two back and put them down along with the third. "I have a bit more modification to do on the programming, but even then that's not going to completely activate them. See, these Chapters have a psychological component to them."

Ken raised an eyebrow. "A what?"

Dipper continued, "Well, that metal you gave me yesterday...I told you we needed it for more Chapters. That's because it's the only one that can transfer code meant to represent DNA bioprogramming instructions in a language that the Driver can understand. Thing is, it partly does that by transcription new RNA sequences for the brain. And the brain can reject those if it seems incompatible."

Phoebe looked confused. "That's biology, though, not psychology...isn't it?"

"Not entirely. Some of the ones the brain is most likely to reject are those that alter personality. It's a sort of evolutionary feature meant to give us consistency in behavior. In order to allow the body to accept the change, the human mind needs to be able to replicate the mentality of the species you're turning into. This both helps the body recognize the change as a less drastic one and assures it you can control the new personality enough to avoid a total rewrite. In other words, you have to learn to think like the paranormal spirit that the Chapter embodies."

"So wait..." Ken suddenly felt confused. "How has this not been a problem so far? I turned into the Gnome more than once, and I didn't even know about this problem."

"Well..." Dipper gestured to the Journal in Ken's hands. "Just so happens the Gnomes came from that book, too. See for yourself."

Ken flipped to a page with an illustration of a tiny bearded man and the entry title "Gnome." He skimmed the rest of the page, but realization only dawned on him as he read the last paragraph, clearly written in a different ink color than all that came before it.

 _Weaknesses: Leaf Blowers. Gnomes are among the most dangerous creatures when united, as their greatest assets include their ability to combine into larger figures - from the espionage capable when disguised as humans to the devastating damage they can do by becoming giant. The teamwork needed to use this, however, is contingent upon having their leader with them. At the time of writing this, the only gnome with any personal determination is their king Geoff. By using leafblowers to separate the pack, their ability to coordinate is lost._

Ken looked up. "So these gnomes...are really just one gnome controlling the rest?"

Dipper nodded. "When you think about it, it's not that different from how the central nervous system dictates the movements of the rest of the human body. It was compatible enough for your mind to adapt without training. But the rest won't be so easy."

Ken closed the book and his eyes, thinking about this revelation. Still, he didn't need long before responding. "I knew we left easy behind the moment I threw that grenade into the portal. So, what do we do now?"

Dipper started typing new commands into the computer as he reconnected one of the Chapters. "Well, we're not at the point yet. In the meantime, I guess keep doing what you were doing...whatever you call it."

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "The word you're looking for is exploring, Dad." Then she caught herself and continued in a slightly more embarrassed tone "By which I mean, I'm kind of surprised you would forget that..."

Dipper smiled and waved the concern of his daughter away. "I know that, obviously. What I meant is if you guys had some weird internal code for it. Your aunt Mabel dubbed us 'Mystery Twins' within a week of first coming here way back then."

Ken snorted. "Why does it feel like we have three sets of twins who could call themselves that?"

Phoebe and Dipper looked at each other with apprehension. Ken caught the glance and couldn't help but pry with a single "What?"

Phoebe just replied. "Come on, let's go," before walking back to the elevator with an inquisitive Ken following behind. Dipper just shook his head and turned back to his computer.

 **##############################################################################################################################**

"Let me be straightforward, Ken," Phoebe gave the rundown as the two entered the store from the vending machine. "Dad and Aunt Maymay are indisputably Mystery Twins. And you can make the argument that Gregrunkles Stan and Ford should've held that title long ago. But that's at most two."

"Wait, but don't you have -"

Suddenly a familiar brunette teenager bounced up out of nowhere and hugged the two. "I didn't think you'd ever be back!" Gladys was absolutely full of energy, even if that energy seemed a bit upset. She crossed her arms at the duo as she stepped back a pace.

"Well, we're about to go back out again," Phoebe responded with a small smile. "You want to come?"

Ken sensed a change in tone as Phoebe asked the last question, as if it was asked halfheartedly. When Gladys responded by blowing a raspberry, he understood why.

"PHHHBBBT! Phooie! You know you spend too much time in that forest! Why don't you come spend time painting with me? Come on, Fee-Fee!"

Phoebe sighed. "When in the past five years have I ever given a different answer to that question? Come on, Gladys, I'm not a kid anymore!"

"Meow Meow Meow! I'm Phoebe! I like tramping around looking for trouble and nothing else!"

"Aw, Gladys, don't be like that! You used to enjoy it too, don't try to - "

"Used to! Just like we used to be close! Now you never want to spend time with me!"

"You're exaggerating quite a bit there, and you know that well - "

Ken decided it was time to change tack, so he called out. "Finn! Phoebe and I are going out to explore. You want in!"

Finn responded from upstairs without bothering to come down. "No that's fine, go on without me! Kinda busy!" Despite how gentle he was compared to his sister, Ken sensed the same sense of finality in his voice - or maybe his perception was just twisted thanks to the family spat on his immediate left.

Thankfully, that too seemed to be winding down. Phoebe looked Gladys square in the eye and said, "You know, if you didn't want to go you could have just said that instead of complaining about my choice!"

"Fine, then. Go!" Gladys huffed out of the room. For a while Phoebe stood there, glowering with an intensity Ken hadn't seen from her before. It reminded him of when either of her parents had first tried taking on Parallels - except somehow more horrifying. "Um, Phoebe?"

Phoebe shook her head as if to clear it. "What? Oh, right….yeah, let's go."

 **#########################################################################################**

"I see your point," Ken said as the two of them were once again traversing the paths. "Those two really aren't adventurous like the past sets of twins. But I really would have thought otherwise."

"You know," Phoebe replied as she continued to gaze ahead. "About three years ago, I would have said the same. The three of us used to go on all sorts of adventures in these woods. One time, Gladys found a hydra and tried convincing Aunt Maymay to let her keep it as a pet. Probably was closer to succeeding than I'd like to admit, too."

Ken looked at her with surprise. "We're talking about the same Gladys, right?"

"I mean, unless tween Gladys got switched out with a different person after becoming a teenager. She had been arts-and-crafts crazy and a fledgling matchmaker before, but suddenly that consumed her whole life. Finn was mildly better about the transition, but he too suddenly became...self-absorbed. So by last summer, I was doing this alone. Not sure Dad would even let me go out now without you, given this whole battle with the Parallels."

Ken shook his head. "Self-absorbed? I feel like that's a little harsh."

Phoebe looked up. "Come again?"

"She invited you to join her, didn't she? I think she wants to spend time with you, she still cares about you...she just wants to do it in a world that's still somewhat new to her. Newer than this, anyway."

"You realize how ironic that sounds coming from a recent arrival like yourself, right?"

With a chuckle, he assented, "Sure. My point is, maybe you two are both being a bit harsh on each other."

Phoebe looked ahead. "That...well, I'm not sure what to think..."

Suddenly they were interrupted by a familiar mariachi rendition of "Eye of the Tiger." Ken took a look down at his phone and answered. "Hello? Yes, Ford. Wait, really? OK, understood. Yeah, just send me the coordinates. Right, of course. Thanks." With that he hung up. And turned to Phoebe. "Playtime's over."

Phoebe stopped dead in her tracks. "You don't mean..."

"Parallel intrusion detected." Ken looked at his companion. "I don't suppose there's any point telling you to get back to the Shack."

"None at all."

"Then come on!" With that, the two dashed off at full tilt, the boy leading with his cellphone guiding him in one hand.

 **#######################################################################################**

"OK, here we are!" The two of them soon found themselves in a broad clearing, far larger than any they had seen before.

Phoebe grabbed Ken. "Wait, hold on! This is it?"

Ken nodded, quickly pocketing his phone. "Yeah, this is the site of the rift. They probably got set up and found hiding spots while we ran here, so we have to be careful."

"Ken? Do you know where we are?"

"What? No, we haven't seen this part of the Falls yet, I thought you would know."

"No, I DO know, and that's the problem. Ken, this is - "

Ken was suddenly distracted by movement in the bushes. "Look out!" With that, he swiftly pushed Phoebe onto the ground just in time for a blue blur to zip from the bushes and hit him in the shoulder - right where Phoebe was standing.

"Curses!" A figure clad in blue with diamond-like protrusions from his appendages walked out into the open. "I may have gotten the pesky Kamen Rider, but it would have been nice to take a Pines out with a shot to the heart."

As a group of fifteen Parallel Troopers emerged out of the shadow, one of them hissed at his boss. The figure shrugged. "You do have a point. By the end of this, I'll have the same number of kills and be paid the same either way."

Ken's grunt drew Phoebe's attention, and she turned to see that the shoulder that had been hit was now covered in a white transparent rock. "Wait...that's ice!" Phoebe turned to the oncoming foes. "What's the big idea?!"

The blue commander cackled. "Oh, just living up to the name I carry in the army. They call me Freezeframe, and I don't think I need to explain why!" As the other Troopers inched a tad closer, Freezeframe continued, "Now, here's the deal! Kraus offered a reward for you dead or alive. I can either turn you into solid ice and make you statues in his castle, or my boys here can slice you up like their friends had the chance to on four-to-five occasions past! What will it be?"

Ken looked Freezeframe dead in the eye and boldly proclaimed, "You're not in a position to ask for either!"

"I don't think you're in a position to say we're not!" Freezeframe retorted. "You're down a shoulder, all because you took the hit for someone else?"

Ken snorted. "Did you stop to ask why I'd rather it be her than me that gets cold?" With his good arm, he raised Chapter 00 in front of him and flicked it open with a satisfying PING and the red indicator light turned green. "Because I'm the one who packed heavy clothing for this."

Phoebe couldn't help but crack a grin at Ken weaving a pun into battle preparations. "I'm not even going to complain about that one."

Freezeframe leveled his weapon once more. "I don't think so!" He fired another shot at the extended arm, but Ken simply twirled to the left. The ice blast missed him by a few inches as he stood slightly to the side; he stumbled a bit, but quickly dismissed it. _Must be just the numbness throwing off my balance…_.

As he inserted the Chapter into his Driver, the Driver chanted: "NEW CHAPTER! WHO IS. THE STUDY TODAY?" Ken's hands went high above his head before he rolled them into fists and quickly brought them down to his waist. He crossed his hands and opened them so the fingers were ready to spin the faceplate. He only spun it, as always, after calling out:

"Henshin!"

The Driver responded, "GO WEIRD! I'm a Kamen Rider for the uncommon writer!" The mystical brown page spun in front of him and rapidly drew the outline for his armor, all the while moving backwards towards him and beginning to press against his body. The ice on the shoulder shattered as the papyrus made contact with it, before stretching and warping around him - only to completely shatter and reveal Kamen Rider Weird ready for action.

"GO WEIRD! I'm a Kamen Rider for the uncommon writer!"

As Weird raised his fists in a martial arts fighting stance, Phoebe felt a surge of hot air sweep across the field. Her spirit soared in anticipation of the fight - until she realized the hot air was not emanating from the Journal Driver. In fact, it seemed to come from all around her...and feel moist. And rise from ankle level to roughly chest level. She wondered where she had felt that before...and then it clicked. _Oh boy…_

Oblivious to this, Kamen Rider Weird looked Freezeframe dead in the eye. "See? Both arms back in action just like that, and armor to boot. You achieved nothing, and now I'm ready to take you down."

Freezeframe cracked his knuckles as the Troopers drew their weapons. "You and what army?"

Ken snorted. "You'll be in the same boat in what, a minute? That's never been an issue."

Freezeframe shook his head as he condescendingly pointed a thumb at the Trooper closest to him. "Oh, I wasn't talking about them."

Ken lowered his fists an inch, slightly confused. "Wait, then who - "

Suddenly he felt something push him from his left, causing him to stumble. As he turned to register that the space next to him was empty, something from behind hit him with the force of a football player and sent him flying through the air, landing ungracefully about thirty feet away.

"Ken!" Phoebe called out, half a second before she felt something hit her own front side. She found herself helpless about two feet off the ground before being likewise thrown randomly to the side. She landed on a still supine Ken before rolling off him and onto the ground next to him.

Freezeframe laughed. "Oh man, I knew that would give us an advantage, but I didn't think it would be so funny to watch!"

As the teens both got themselves off the ground and into kneeling positions, Ken asked Phoebe a simple question. "Phoebe, what in the world was that?"

But Phoebe's mind only partly registered the question. She found herself flashing back to being just a baby in a woman's arms, watching as her father was sent flying in the air by an invisible force. One that had been welcomed peacefully by two little brown tots too innocent to know better. One that those tots had even given a silly name to, a name that Phoebe now spoke aloud for the first time in years.

"Princess Awesome Udders."

Underneath the mask, Ken's panicked face became laced with concern. "Phoebe?"

Phoebe barely registered that her fist had closed on the grass beneath her. All she knew were the next words that came out of her mouth:

"This just got a lot more complicated."


	12. SURPRISE WITH A WARNING

As a Halloween treat, the next chapter is a clip from several episodes ahead - you'll see why if you go on it, but it IS a SPOILER and DRAFT, so you've been warned.


	13. SPOILER Ep 7: Haunt of Ages, Part 3 EXC

Phoebe emerged from the Pit Cola machine after the shaking abated, looking around at what had happened. What she saw ten feet in front of her was apocalyptic to behold.

Weird had been thrown onto the ground by the force of the shockwave. As his vision cleared and the ground stopped shaking, he realized that every shelf of the Dusk2Dawn had collapsed. Items were scattered all over the floor, and the refrigerator glass doors were all either cracked or shattered. He looked at the Parallel ten feet in front of him as it retracted its chain arms, pulling the miniature wrecking balls that they were attached to off the ground. The foe - Crackdown - spun them around menacingly as he grunted.

"I wonder how many more of those this place can stand. Two more hits? Three? Maybe I should just go outside and pummel the walls."

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the Parallel, two elderly spirits hovered just above him, watching as Ken lay there, gasping for air while Parallel soldiers surrounded him with raised weapons.

"Ooh, that ruffian! Finally getting what he deserves for barging in here!" Pa tried speaking with conviction, but his voice wavered the tiniest bit.

Ma was more open about the change of heart. "This is too far, dear! They'll wreck everything."

Pa shook his head. "Nothing that hooligan can do to our store that we can't fix once they leave."

"But what of the kids? I can't see us not intervening in the matter if we know those two are gonna die!"

Pa harrumphed. "That youngster said he wanted to fight these things. He knew what he was getting into - or at least thought he did. At the end of the day, he's as arrogant as those no-good disrespectful whippersnappers who killed us with their boomboxies!"

Ma turned away. "Oooh, at the very least, don't make me watch."

Meanwhile, Crackdown began slowly rotating his arm again, the ball slowly gaining speed. "This is the first time King Kraus was less concerned about you, to be honest. His Majesty mostly wanted this place destroyed - figured you couldn't get the ghost powers those necromancers warned us about if their source was destroyed."

Ken lifted his head in surprise, speaking slowly but softly. "Necromancers? They...knew?"

Ma looked at Pa. "Dearie, is that true?" Pa made a movement that was either an indifferent shrug...or a small shudder.

Crackdown continued talking. "So, I'll cut you a deal. You and the little redhead can go, let us destroy this store, and we forget you were ever here. For now, at least - I'll crush you another day. Do we have a deal?"

Phoebe stared on in horror, fully aware of what this could mean. "Ken, don't - " she found herself cut off as Ken raised a hand to signal her.

Pa's eyes bore silently into the teen, daring his response to come out.

Weird slowly spoke. "You...still...don't get it, do you?".

Crackdown frowned. "Don't get what?"

Ma turned back around as both ghosts proclaimed "What?"

"This was never about me. This was about this town, about these people. And the Dusk2Dawn is a key part of it."

"This decrepit old place? Don't make me laugh."

"It's true," Weird replied by getting up, despite stumbling slightly. "Even from beyond the grave, Pa and Ma cared about this place enough to stay. And in the process they continue to affect the nature of Gravity Falls. Dipper... Wendy… Stan… Their lives were shaped in part by this shop. I won't let you hurt it or them!" With that, he raised his fists.

Phoebe looked desperately around for the Quill Saber until her eyes rested on the hilt, the rest buried under rubble. Her eyes darted around, trying to think of a way to help.

Meanwhile, Ma just looked at Pa. "Ruffian, eh? I love you, dearie, but you can be too hard in the head. Look at this!"

Pa just looked on silently. "But..tennagers...all those years..even after our death..."

"Maybe this one grew up…."

Meanwhile, Crackdown's wrecking ball was whirling above his head at maximum speed. "Then forget the building. You die first!" With that, he swung down as Ken crossed his arms, closed his eyes and braced himself….

Suddenly, he heard as giant WHAM! and an "Agh!". Ken opened his eyes to find the wrecking ball and Crackdown both sprawled on the ground...as if shoved. He was confused until he heard a voice.

"So, you really believe we're important, huh?" With those words, Pa materialized in front of him.

 **[AN: Soundtrack "** **Ghostbusters 2016 Trailer Theme Music** " **. Start at 0:00]**

Ken took a second to respond due to the surprise, but when he did it was with conviction. "As important as anyone else in the Falls."

Ma appeared besides him. "Well, dearie… show us how serious you are. "

"You mean-"

"We love our store too, you know. Let's see if you're really ready to protect the town." With that the two of them swirled into mist and zoomed into his pocket. Ken pulled out Chapter 05 as the light went from yellow…

 **[0:23]**

...to red. As he cracked a grin, the general in front of him got up and snarled. "You think one lucky shove will save you?"

Unbeknownst to both of them, Phoebe pulled the Quill Saber out of the rubble and aimed it at the light switch, praying this would work...

Ken scoffed as he clicked Chapter 05 open, causing it to emit a PING and turn green. "You all really don't get what's happening do you?" With that he rotated the Driver, pulled out Chapter 00, and inserted Chapter 05.

 **[0:43]**

"NEW CHAPTER! WHO IS. THE STUDY TODAY?"

For a small moment Ken stood there, taking a deep breath. The Parallel troopers stood transfixed for a moment before raising their rifles…a second too late.

"Next Page!"

With that, he spun the wheel, just as a blade impaled the light switch on the wall.

 **[0:52]**

For a brief second there was complete darkness. The grunts called to each other in confusion.

"What just happened?"

"Where is he?"

"I don't know!"

 **[0:57]**

With a mighty CRACK, an "AUGH!" and a THUD, fear crept into their hearts!

"Who just -!"

"Headlights! Now!"

 **[1:01]**

BAM!

As they turned on their lights, the soldiers saw one of their own lying helpless on the ground, while another was prawled against a wall. The squad readily turned around, shining their lights everywhere yet usable to see anything but the white linoleum floor and broken shelves of the store.

 **[1:04]**

SNAP! Another trooper, after lurching forward like someone had kicked him in the small of the back, fell to the floor helpless.

Crackdown finally spoke up for the first time since the lights went out. "Dang it! One of you find Weird!"

One of the Troopers finally shone his light on someone, even if the red hair wasn't what he wanted. Still, he threateningly pointed his rifle at her. "What's the coward doing?!"

Phoebe raised an eyebrow. "I don't know, but whatever it is, I wouldn't threaten me or call him that."

"And why not?"

Suddenly the rifle was yanked out of his hands before it stuck him in the temple, causing him to crumple to the ground.

 **[Pause at 1:22]**

A familiar yet disembodied voice rang out, "Because now you're in my house. And I'm playing with new rules." As everyone turned their attention to the voice, it began to take form...

 **[Play at 1:24, Pause at 1:30 if need be]**

From out of nowhere a humanoid figure faded into existence - slimmer than what they were looking for, as if without as much body armor. It at first was as light as a shadow, then it became progressively darker until it seemed a solid black. As the group registered who it was, the Driver rang out loudly to confirm it:

"GHOST! FOR BUSINESS WE REMAIN, LET THE HAUNT BEGIN!"

 **[1:30]**

Where there had been nothing but blackness, there were suddenly thin white decal lines on the legs, a white six-fingered handprint on his chest, and the whitest version of the Rider beetle eyes imaginable. Phoebe, Crackdown, and all the remaining troops stood there for a second, soaking in this silhouette of a warrior among them.

Eventually, Crackdown regained his composure. "So you can turn intangible. Was it really worth all this?"

"Ask your men that. But I do have another trick..." With that, a dozen opaque arms shot out of Weird's back, grabbing heavy merchandise and scattered debris. It was lifted high in the air as anyone still wearing brown began pointing their weapons in random directions, unsure of what to shoot.

"Last chance - get out of this store, or we throw you out with the trash."

Crackdown whipped his wrecking ball up once. "I'm not afraid of this ghost!"

Ken raised one hand and made a fist. "Fine, then...in seconds, you will be." With that, he pushed his arm out with a mighty "HRAH!" The arms began surging to the crowd...


End file.
